Robert Gordon is phoning to book a hotel room in Paris.

　　Receptionist: 45-21-64. Allo?

　　Robert: Is that the Saint-Martine Hotel?

　　Receptionist: Oui. Yes, it is. Can I help you?

　　Robert: Have you got a double room for the night of 23rd July?

　　Receptionist: One moment please. I'll just have a look. Yes, we have got a double room on that date.

　　Robert: Has it got a double bed or two singles?

　　Receptionist: Two singles, monsieur.

　　Robert: And is that with or without bath?

　　Receptionist: It's a room with shower and toilet, monsieur.

　　Robert: That sounds fine. Is there a TV?

　　Receptionist: Could you repeat that, please?

　　Robert: Is there a color television in the room?

　　Receptionist: Yes, but of course. And a video, if you choose.

　　Robert: How much will it be for one night?

　　Receptionist: About four hundred francs.

　　Robert: And what does that include?

　　Receptionist: It includes morning newspaper, continental breakfast and service.

　　Robert: Where is the nearest metro?

　　Receptionist: Opera, monsieur. It's only five minutes from here.

　　Robert: And is there an extra charge for children?

　　Receptionist: If the child is under sixteen and we put an extra bed in your room, the charge is seventy-five francs. Do you want the room?

　　Robert: Yes, for one night—23rd July.

　　Receptionist: Oui, monsieur. May I have your name, please?

　　Robert: Actually, it's for my wife and two daughters—Mrs. Jean Gordon, Linda and Maggie.

　　Receptionist: Yes, monsieur. So you need an extra bed. And what time will they be arriving on July 23rd ...

　　Interviewer: Now you've been a veterinary doctor for some thirty years, what was it that made you become a vet in the first place?

　　Vet: Well, I studied as an ordinary doctor in the beginning, but I slowly realized that I liked animals very much. I almost prefer animals to people. So I took an extra course in animal medicine. It's as simple as that really.

　　Interviewer: And you still enjoy working with animals?

　　Vet: Oh, yes, very much so. In fact, more than ever now. I've got to know animals much better, you see, and I get on better with them in every way. Their owners sometimes get on my nerves, though.

　　Interviewer: Oh ... why is that?

　　Vet: Well, some people know very little about animals and keep them in the wrong conditions.

　　Interviewer: What sort of conditions?

　　Vet: Oh, you know, some people buy a large dog and then try to keep it in a small flat; they don't take it out enough to give it proper exercise. Other people have a cat and try to keep it in the house all day, but a cat needs to get out and be free to come and go as it pleases. A lot of people don't feed their animals properly. It's very common to give pets too much food which is very bad for them, especially if they're not getting enough exercise. Or not to feed them regularly, which is equally bad. An animal is a responsibility which is something many people don't seem to realize.

　　Interviewer: You mean people keep pets for the wrong reasons?

　　Vet: Yes, some people want a pet because they're lonely, or simply for decoration, or just to show how rich they are.

　　Interviewer: And just how do you deal with these people?

　　Vet: Well, I try to tell them what the animal needs, what is the right sort of food, the proper exercise. I try to teach them that animals are not toys and if they're to be healthy, they have to be happy.

　　Interviewer: Yes, I suppose you're right. In your thirty years as a vet you must have come across some interesting cases?

　　Vet: Oh yes, there are lots of interesting cases. I was once called to a lioness who was giving birth and having difficulty. Now that was really interesting.

　　Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, that was our last item, and all that remains for me to do is to thank our performers sincerely on behalf of us all for the pleasure they have given us this evening. And of course I must express thanks to those who've worked behind the scenes. And especially our producer. But most of all I want to say thank you to all of you for coming here this evening and supporting this event, especially in such weather. I think perhaps I should take this opportunity to renew my sincere apologies to those sitting in the back rows. We've made temporary repairs to the roof, but unfortunately the rain tonight was unexpectedly heavy, and we're grateful to you for your understanding and cheerful good humor. I may say that we had hoped that temporary repairs would suffice. But we were recently informed by our surveyor that the whole roof will have to be replaced: which is of course a severe blow when you think it's only five years since we replaced the roof of the church itself. And so we shall be having another concert soon, I hope.

　　Manager: Good morning, madam. And what can we do for you?

　　Woman: What can you do for me?

　　Manager: Yes, madam, what can we do for you?

　　Woman: You've already done it, thank you very much. And I want something done about what you've done for me.

　　Manager: Is something the matter, madam?

　　Woman: I'll say there is, I want to see the manager.

　　Manager: I'm the manager, madam. Now ... now what seems to be the trouble?

　　Woman: Look at my face!

　　Manager: Your face? Ah yes. Oh dear. Well, never mind. What's wrong with your face? What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?

　　Woman: My lines, my Wrinkles.

　　Manager: Well, we can soon put that right, Madam. You need a bottle of our New Generation Wrinkle Cream. With this wonderful new cream your lines and wrinkles just ...

　　Woman: Shut up!

　　Manager: ... just disap ... I beg your pardon?

　　Woman: I said shut up! I was silly enough to listen to you before. I'll listen to no more of it.

　　Manager: You say you've been here before, madam. I'm afraid I don't recognize you.

　　Woman: Of course you don't recognize me! Last time I came in here I was a very attractive middle-aged woman. Now I look old enough to be even your grandmother.

　　Manager: Well, yes ... er ... some of us do age quicker than others.

　　Woman: It's not a question of age, my man, it's a question of your cream. I used it for two small lines under my eyes and I woke up next morning looking like Lady Frankenstein. Your advertisement says 'Lose ten years overnight. For only five pounds you can look young and attractive again. Tried by thousands. Money back guarantee.' Well, I want more than my money back. I want you to pay for me to have plastic surgery.

　　Manager: But, madam, there must be some mistake.

　　Woman: I'll say there's been a mistake. My mistake was believing your advert and buying your silly cream. 'It can do the same for you, too,' it said. Well, it's certainly done something for me, but now what it did for the lady in the picture.

　　Manager: But our product is tested and approved by doctors. It was thoroughly tested on thousands of volunteers by experts before it was allowed to be sold on the market. This is the first complaint we've had.

　　Woman: I told you, I want you to pay for a face lift or I'm taking you to court! So there!

　　Manager: Er, do you happen to have a ... a recent photograph, madam?

　　Woman: What ... whatever do you want with a photograph? You can see the way I look.

　　Manager: I mean a photograph of you just before you used the cream.

　　Woman: Do you think I go to the photographers everyday? (Pause) Look, Just give me the five pounds, will you?

　　Manager: Do you have your receipt with you, madam?

　　Woman: Er ... just a minute ... let me have a look. (Rummages in bag) Er ... no. No, I seem to have lost it?

　　Manager: Then there's nothing I can do, madam. Sorry.

　　Woman: (furious) I'll take you to court. I'll take you to court.

　　Manager: You can do as you please, madam. Good morning.