Lesson 38 Learning How to ApologizeWhat are the hardest words to pronounce in English? It seems that "I'm sorry" are the two most difficult words for most people to say. Perhaps this difficulty lies in the so-called "losing of face" phrase; when a person apologizes, he lowers himself before another. Yet no one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes. After making a mistake, people should apologize to set things straight with others.
Two phrases in English often confuse non-native users of this language. These phrases are "I'm sorry" and "Excuse me." The latter is used to ask for information, as in "Excuse me, (but) do you have the time?" or "Excuse me, (but) can you tell me whether there is a post office near here?" "Excuse me" is also used when it is necessary to disturb others, as when one person interrupts two others speaking: "Excuse me for interrupting, (but) I have to leave now." Another example of the proper usage of this phrase is when, as a stranger, you want to point something out of benefit to someone, as in "Excuse me, (but) l believe you dropped something out of your wallet." Another common instance of using "Excuse me" is in crowded elevators, stores, or lines when a person needs to get through or get out. "Excuse me, (but) this is my floor" is a very handy phrase to learn when in crowded elevators. In all these cases, "Pardon me" may also be used; however, it is more often used in British than in American English.
When is "I'm sorry" used? For more serious incidents. Stepping on someone's toes on a crowded bus, though not intentional, should elicit an immediate "I'm sorry." Bumping into someone even on a crowded street where it is difficult not to also calls for "I'm sorry." Careless or late work in school or in the office requires our apology to teachers, colleagues, or employers. Being late for meetings or dates needs both an apology and often either a reason for the tardiness or an explanation of what course of action will be taken to eliminate any future possibility of recurrence. No one likes to be wronged, intentionally or otherwise. Saying "I'm sorry" can go a long way towards rectifying an awkward situation.
Even more importantly, saying "I'm sorry" is necessary when intentional harm has been done. The borrowing of an item without first informing the owner - who later discovers the "theft" - can be quite embarrassing. A simple but sincere "I'm sorry" might repair the damage done. Careless comments or insults which offend others may be ameliorated with that simple phrase, though sincerity in voice and gesture make all the difference. Similarly, young lovers, often exasperated in unrequited love, may purposefully hurt each other, only later to profoundly regret what they had done. At these times, a heartfelt "I'm sorry" may redress the pain of the one inflicted by love's arrows. Even better, "Please forgive me" may be used, as it is considered a stronger expression of remorse.
Learning to apologize in another language does not excuse speakers from practicing the same good manners in their mother tongue. So many people lament the coldness of modem society; human relationships have been worn thin from constant urban pressures. Part of this problem seems to be that people no longer use such simple words as "please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry." They cost nothing, but can bring a wealth of pleasure or relief to those who hear them. They require little effort, yet these few syllables can enliven someone else's day. So, why not use them whenever possible? |