六人行FriendsMP3 6-1（在线收听） |
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The One After Vegas -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.] Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married! Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this? (Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!) Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.) Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.) (They storm out into the street.) Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay! (She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.) Monica: Whoa! Chandler: Oh my God! Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.) (Chandler and Monica are stunned again.) Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!! (Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.) Attendant: (scolding them) N-No running in the chapel! Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Don抰 you give me any of your桯ey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.) Chandler: Hey! Joey: Hey! Monica: What are you guys doing here? Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isn抰 that why you guys are here? Chandler: Yes! Well that-yes. Monica: Why else would we be here? Joey: Well! What happened?! Did we miss it? Chandler: We actually missed it. Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldn抰 have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel! Monica: This is insane! Phoebe: What抯 the big deal, y択now? It抯 not like it抯 a real marriage. Chandler: What?! Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you抮e only married in Vegas. Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you抮e married everywhere. Phoebe: (shocked) Really?! Monica: Yeah! Phoebe: Oh my God!桬h! Well? Opening Credits {Transciber抯 note: In case you haven抰 heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For they抮e all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are厎 [Scene: Rachel抯 hotel room, she抯 waking up with a horrendous hangover.] Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks in the mirror and sees that she still has her mustache and groans.) (Suddenly, there抯 movement beside her, startling her. It抯 Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.) Ross: Why are we in bed together? Rachel: I don抰 know. Do-do you have any clothes on? Ross: (checks) Yeah. Rachel: Really?! Ross: No! But we-we didn抰 have卻ex-uh, did we? I mean, I don抰 remember much about last night, it was such a blur. Rachel: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot. Ross: And we didn抰 have sex. (Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.) Rachel: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. I抦 just glad we didn抰 do anything stupid. Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.) [Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.] Joey: Mornin?Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled. Phoebe: Oh Joey, I抦 so sorry. You want some of my breakfast? Joey: Nah, I抦 too depressed to eat. I抣l probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess I抣l just fly home with you guys, what time抯 your flight? Phoebe: What about my cab? Joey: I don抰 need that anymore. Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back. Joey: I don抰 want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. (Gets an idea.) Oh梠oh! How about you come with me? Phoebe: I don抰 know, it抯 such a long trip. Joey: It抣l be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship. Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance? Joey: Sure? Phoebe: All right. Although I don抰 think we need one baby, I never stopped loving you. (Chandler and Monica enter.) Chandler: Hi! Joey: Hey. Monica: Hey. Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet? Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute. Joey: Where is the waitress?! I抦 starving! Chandler: It抯 a buffet man. Joey: Oh, here抯 where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.) Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you. Joey: Sure! What抯 up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.) Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night. Joey: Oh my God! That抯 huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasn抰 invited? And who was going to be your best man? Don抰 say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross." Chandler: Look, I just don抰 think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Y択now? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y択now? And, how do I tell her without crushing her? Joey: Oh! Tell her she抯 not marriage material. Chandler: What?! Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she抯 anything like me, she抯 just gonna be relieved. [Pan to Monica and Phoebe having the same conversation.] Monica: How do I tell Chandler that it抯 too soon. It抯 gonna break his heart, he抯 not gonna think that I don抰 love him anymore. Phoebe: Well you don抰. Monica: Yes I do! Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you. Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi. Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Y択now, we were just talking about bacon. Phoebe: No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable. (Ross and Rachel enter.) Ross: Hey! The Girls: Hey! Chandler: Hey! (They both sit down and Rachel pours them both some coffee. They抮e acting like nothing抯 happened and everyone is just staring at them.) Ross: What? Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or? Rachel: (To Ross) I don抰 know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night. Ross: Yeah! Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch. (Rachel turns to Ross stunned.) Monica: Rach! We weren抰 gonna miss our friends getting married! Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.) Chandler: (not quite sure) You did. Ross: What?! Hello! We didn抰 get married. Rachel: No, we didn抰 get married! That抯 ridiculous! (They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.) Ross: We-we-we桰 remember being in a chapel. Rachel: Oh my God. Ross: I桾hey would not let us get married when we were that drunk! Rachel: No! Joey: They let you get married when you抮e drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk! Phoebe: Hell, I抦 drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I can抰 have a mimosa with breakfast?! I抦 on vacation! Monica: What are you guys gonna do? Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.) Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one抯 free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one抯 free. Ross: Laugh it up, but the joke抯 on you. Because we don抰 need to get divorced, okay? We we抮e just gonna get an annulment. Joey: An annulment? Ross! I don抰 think surgery抯 the answer here. Phoebe: Oh-oh, that抯 your thing. Ross: What? Phoebe: You抮e thing. You抮e thing. Y択now? You抮e the guy who gets divorced. All: Oh yeah! Ross: No-no, that抯-that抯 not my thing! I do not love getting divorced! Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you抮e probably gonna marry it! Then it won抰 work out and you抮e gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) I抦 so drunk. [Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.] Monica: So, what do you think we should do? Chandler: I don抰 know. But I-I-I know I love you! Monica: I know I love you! (They hug.) Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you. Monica: That抯 a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you! Chandler: Yes, we don抰 get married unless there抯 a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then there抯 a definite sign that we should get married. Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we don抰 get married. Chandler: Sounds great. Monica: Okay. (They approach the craps table.) Croupler: Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please. Monica: Ready? Chandler: Ready! Monica: (sarcastic) Come on eight. Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, yes eight. (Monica rolls the dice.) Croupler: Eight! Easy eight. (She rolls a 3 and a 5 and they抮e stunned.) Monica: Wow! I can抰 believe I actually rolled an eight. Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, let抯 get married! I guess. Monica: Wait a minute. That wasn抰 a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight. Chandler: That抯 right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit! Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack? Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) We抮e doing the right thing, right? Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each other抯 hands.) [Scene: Phoebe抯 cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.] Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You can抰 win if you don抰 ask any (sees that he抯 asleep) QUESTIONS!!! Joey: (wakes up) What?! Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! We抳e been on the road six hours and you抳e been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper! Joey: All right. All right. Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radio抯 broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice. Joey: Really? I don抰? Phoebe: Sing!! Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.) [Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joey抯 driving and having a hard time staying awake.] Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.) [Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the car抯 still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.] Hitchhiker: (driving) Morning! (Phoebe screams again.) [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.] Ross: Hey! Rachel: Hey, hubby! Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing? Rachel: Uh-huh. Ross: I抦 not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.) Commercial Break [Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier. Rachel starts laughing.] Rachel: Okay! So, we抣l just stay married. Ross: Yes, exactly! Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller! Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought I抎 have to talk you into this more. Rachel: Okay, see now I抦 scared because I don抰 actually think you抮e kidding. Ross: I抦-I抦 not kidding. Look I-I, I can抰 have three failed marriages. I can抰. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy! Rachel: What-wh-what so we抣l just stay married forever?! Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It抯 right next to it! Rachel: Ohh, okay, I抦 sorry. You抮e right. Y択now what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what you抮e asking of me. Ross: I抦 asking you to do me a favor. {Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.} Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife! Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor. [Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.] Monica: That kid really kicked me hard on the plane. Chandler: Well you did pull his hair. Monica: He took my snack! Chandler: I抦 not getting into this again! Monica: Okay! Oh God, y択now what? It hurts really bad. Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.) Monica: This doesn抰 mean anything, does it? Chandler: No! Monica: Okay. [Scene: Phoebe抯 cab, she抯 driving, Joey抯 in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.] Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape?She holds her hand in front of the hitchhiker抯 face), a rapist or a killer or something! Joey: Don抰 you think I asked him that before he got in?! Phoebe: Y択now what? I抦 not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?! Hitchhiker: No! Phoebe: Do you like car games? Hitchhiker: Yeah, y択now the license plate game? Phoebe: I love the license plate game! Joey: Ooh, I抣l play! I抣l play! Phoebe: No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh! (She closes the partition.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.] Ross: Hey! Rachel: Hey! Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents! Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married. Ross: I don抰 know if it抯 true. Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is! Ross: Oh, okay, y択now what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage... Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the world抯 worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will! Ross: All right. All right, I抣l do it. Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower? (Ross turns and leaves.) [Scene: Phoebe抯 cab, it抯 the same arrangement as before.] Hitchhiker: Wait! Wait! There is the train station! Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number. Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that you抮e a drifter, so the ball抯 pretty much in your court. Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives away.) Joey: Come on Pheebs! I can抰 take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on! Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! That抯 not fair! Y択now I can抰 resist that beautiful voice! Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didn抰 deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you. Phoebe: You can like still sleep at night and stuff. Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? I抳e got a really good one! I抳e been thinking about it since Kansas. Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich? Joey: Yes. Phoebe: Is it a meatball sub? Joey: That is incredible! You are the master! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.] Rachel: Huh, that抯 funny. You look like you抮e gonna be the? Monica: No, don抰 say it! Don抰 even think it! Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.) Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Y択now? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it. Monica: I抦 sick of the signs! It抯 too fast, I抦 happy the way things are! Chandler: Me too! Monica: I don抰 want things to change! Do you? Chandler: No! Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because it抯 been three days and it抯 driving me insane! Chandler: Jeez, relax! It抯 not like we抮e mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.) Chandler: (entering, slowly) Y択now I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here? Monica: Then all your stuff would be here. Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here? Monica: Then you抎 be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn抰 make any sense. Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I抦 saying? Monica: Live together? There have been no signs for that. Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign. Monica: YES!!!!!!!! Chandler: Okay!!!!! (And the crowd goes wild! Well, at least the live studio audience.) Monica: Yes! Okay! Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Chandler: Okay. Monica: Here抯 your key (Gets him one.) Chandler: Oh thanks. Monica: Here抯 your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in! Chandler: The door hasn抰 been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?! Monica: Ready! (He tries, but something happens.) Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I can抰 get in! Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I can抰 get out! Chandler: This is not a sign! Monica: No, it抯 not a sign! It抯 a very old key! Chandler: It抯 an old key! Monica: Oh my God it抯 old! Chandler: I love you! Monica: I love you! Chandler: Are you hugging the door right now. (Pause) Monica: No. Chandler: Yeah-yeah, me neither. [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.] Ross: Hey! Rachel: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment? Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. It抯 all taken care of. Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie? Ross: Oh yeah, why not? Rachel: Pheebs? Phoebe: No thanks, I抳e already seen one. Rachel: Okay, umm, I抦 gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.) Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird? Phoebe: Always. Ross: I didn抰 get the annulment. Phoebe: What?! Ross: We抮e still married! Don抰 tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.) Ending Credits [Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.] Joey: What are you doing? Chandler: The key抯 stuck in the lock. Joey: I can fix it. Hold on. (He goes and gets a screwdriver from his apartment) Look out. Look out. (Pries at the door a little bit.) Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesn抰 work. Joey: I抦 not finished. Chandler: Oh. (Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off it抯 hinges.) Chandler: Nice job Joe! You抮e quite the craftsmen. (Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.) End -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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