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The One With Joey抯 New Brain
Teleplay by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: I抦 glad you抮e here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh?
Ross: What抯 the matter? You okay?
Rachel: Yeah, it抯 just y択now?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Chandler: Do you think you could get through a poem?
Rachel: (crying) It抣l be a short one.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Rachel: Ohhh?
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Chandler: Too?
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Ross: Sorry, I抦 kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)
Joey: (entering, excited) Hey!
All: Hey!
Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you抮e not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!
All: Oh!!
Chandler: That抯 great!
Joey: And-and-and not only that, I抦 gettin?a new brain!!
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Rachel: Wait, what do you mean you抮e getting a new brain?
Joey: Oh well, they抮e killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Joey: (seriously) Yes, it抯 a highly controversial procedure.
Ross: It抯 ridiculous!
Joey: Well, I think it抯 ridiculous that you haven抰 had sex in three and a half months.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) It抯 winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Joey: Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: She抯 my favorite character on DOOL.
Joey: Nice.
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in people抯 faces, I mean I don抰 think I抳e ever seen her finish a beverage.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Rachel: Oh!
Monica: Wouldn抰 you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
Chandler: Don抰 do it.
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And she抯 been on the show forever, it抯 gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Ramoray抯 body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Phoebe: Yeah? Why?
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Rachel: All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)
Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fall in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Phoebe: Yeah?That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Rachel: What? Wait! Why厀hy do you get the story?
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Phoebe: That wasn抰 a date! That was, that was just friends getting together?quietly) having sex.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didn抰 think I抎 love again.
Phoebe: Nice try.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Phoebe: I don抰 know.
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Rachel: Well umm, maybe we could uhh?(Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachel抯 hand and catches it.)
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Too cocky!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
Dina: I抦 going to keep dating him Mother, and there抯 nothing you can do about it!
Jessica Lockhart: Oh yes there is!
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Dina: Well, at least I抦 not a murderer! (Jessica slaps her.)
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dina抯 head to her other shoulder so that she抯 the only one in the picture.)
The Director: Cut!
(Joey walks up to Cecilia Monroe who plays Jessica.)
Joey: That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?
Cecilia: Oh, just years of experience.
Dina: (crying) Can I get some ice here?!
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Cecilia: You抮e not the fan who抯 dying are you?
Joey: Say what?
Cecilia: I抦 supposed to meet and hug a fan who's dying, but that抯 not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Joey: No. No, I抦 Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-I抦 the guy in the coma!
Cecilia: Oh that was a real person?!
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since I抦 getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me?
Cecilia: I-I-I抦 leaving the show?
Joey: (quickly) I don抰 know. Why? Did you hear something?
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Joey: Oh uh, one of the writers.
Cecilia: Which one? Was it bald or was it tall?
Joey: Umm?
Cecilia: Y択now what? It doesn抰 matter! Because it is not true!
Joey: Okay.
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that I抳e been playing for 20 years桰抣l give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe?(She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; that抯 not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why don抰 we, why don抰 we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Rachel: I don抰 think so.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but I抎 bet you抎 be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Phoebe: Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? I抦 sorry.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isn抰 telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hat抯 a steak house!
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, that抯 one for you.
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! He抯 got Barney抯 on his speed dial.
Phoebe: So you don抰 know that抯 Barney抯 the store! That can be y択now his friend抯 house, or a bar. Who has Barney抯 the store on their speed dial?
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: I think it抯 the dying cat parade.
Monica: It sounds like it抯 coming from across the street.
Chandler: (turning around and looking) Oh my God!
Monica: What?
Chandler: Y択now that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "You抮e half Scottish right?"
Monica: Nooo!!
Chandler: Yes!!
[Cut to Ross抯 apartment, he is playing the Bagpipes, badly. He抯 worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Commercial Break
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! It抯 not even a song!
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Phoebe: Hi!
Rachel: How are ya?
Phoebe: Good.
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guy抯 cell phone?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Rachel: You stole the phone!
Phoebe: No I didn抰!
Rachel: No? So you抮e saying that if I called it, it wouldn抰 ring?
Phoebe: No. Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebe抯 bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebe抯 handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guy抯 phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) It抯 for me!
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
(The cute guy抯 phone rings.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet that抯 him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! It抯 Rach?(Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachel抯 hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, I抦 the one who found your phone.
Rachel: Phoebe! You can抰 do th?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! I抦 on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. It抯 umm, it抯 umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe y択now after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay I抣l see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Phoebe: Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?
Rachel: You just said it!
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just卋e alone y択now to think about my mom and her suicide.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?! That抯 the first time today!
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Dina is at the craft services table getting some food as Joey walks up.]
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself I抦 partial to?
Dina: (interrupting) I抦 16.
Joey: See you in 2003. (She walks away.)
Cecilia: (walking up) You抮e absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They don抰 know exactly when it抯 going to happen, but apparently it's going to be very soon and that抯 it.
Joey: I抦 so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Cecilia: Yeah, thanks.
Joey: No I mean it! I can抰 believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Cecilia: Oh you抮e right. Thank you! What抯 your name again?
Joey: Joey.
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
The Writer: It wasn抰 my decision!
Cecilia: (to him) I抦 having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye條-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, I抦 really nervous about-about being you. Y択now if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Y択now? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Joey: Oh that抯 great! Oh thank you so much!
Cecilia: You抮e so welcome.
Joey: Hey! Now, I抳e been watching some tapes, how抯 this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never set foot in this place again! Ever!!"
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Joey: Yeah.
Cecilia: Yeah but Jessica doesn抰 have an English accent.
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That baby抯 going on my r閟um?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Chandler: Well, I feel like a snack!
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh that抯 Scottish like you are.
Chandler: Oh no thanks. I don抰 like anything from my Scottish heritage.
Ross: What?!
Chandler: Well it抯 just my entire family was run out of Scotland by匳ikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Monica: No! No-no they抮e not. They抮e still very angry! But y択now Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more?
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Chandler: That抯 not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just don抰 feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Ross: Why not?
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Ross: Come on that抯 not fair! I mean you haven抰 even heard me play!
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Ross: No, you抳e heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And I抦 not going to tell you what song I抦 gonna play either. But uh, let抯 just say when it抯 over I抣l bet there will be a wee bit o?celebration.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Joey: Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! He抯 not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)
Cecilia: Right. He抯 not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, it抯 a little weird, but it抯 getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, I抦 gonna miss this woman so much. I don抰 know what I抦 going to do! I mean, it抯 been 20 years of my life.
Joey: Oh well桯ey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Y択now? It抣l-it抣l give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. You抮e so talented.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I don抰 know, you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Joey: Hey that抯 not true! Look at uh, look at Angela Lansb桝ngelina Jolie!
Cecilia: I probably should抳e just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but y択now I just got so comfy here! And?Ohh, I turned down some amazing work!
Joey: Like-like what?
Cecilia: Well, let抯 just say if I left 15 years ago, the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today!
Joey: (impressed) Wow!
Cecilia: But?Well now, now抯 a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Oh hey come on, don抰-don抰-don抰 do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, I抦 thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (She抯 not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Cecilia: (intrigued) You think I抦 hot?
Joey: You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh?
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the?(Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the man抯 face. (She does so.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that 慶ause she抯 so passionate?
Cecilia: No! It抯 because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands may be a little off, they should be maybe right like?(She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Hey! Hey!
(There is a knock on the door.)
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Guy: Hi! It抯 Tom, I抦 here to pick up the phone.
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Rachel: Well why shouldn抰 I?!
Phoebe: Because it抯 my apartment!
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
Tom: Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (laughs) You抮e not the man who left the cell phone.
Tom: No that抯 my assistant.
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Tom: Umm, no.
Phoebe: Could you-could you umm, give us one second?
Tom: Sure!
Rachel: We抣l be right back sir.
Tom: Sure.
(They walk into the living room.)
Phoebe: Wh-what do we do?
Rachel: I don抰 know!
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Phoebe: Hmm, they just don抰 make 慹m like that anymore!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: Rachel, listen桰 mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Yeah! You抮e such a great friend!
Rachel: Ohh?
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
Phoebe: Oh that抎 be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
Phoebe: (whispering) Nice!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joey抯 room followed by Joey.]
Cecilia: Well, you certainly own that room.
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
(She laughs as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi.
Joey: Hey!
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Cecilia: Well, it抯 nice to know that you?
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monica抯.)
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the women抯 underwear.
Joey: (shrugs) Sure. Yep.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! It抯 true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Cecilia: Certainly.
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Cecilia: I抎 love to, but my lawyer said I can抰 do that anymore.
Rachel: God. You seem really, really nice.
Joey: Okay, bye-bye.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Rachel: Okay.
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, you抮e a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really can抰 slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God you抮e great!
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I?
Cecilia: Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. I抦 used to it, don抰 worry about it.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Cecilia: What?
Joey: They sent me today抯 script! They never send the script!
Cecilia: They don抰?
Joey: Well no, I抦 just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh?
Cecilia: How does it happen?
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Cecilia: Ah what?! Jessica hates horses!
Joey: Yeah well, I抦 guessing after this she抯 not going to be crazy about electricity either.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Ross: 卬ow remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Rachel: No!
Ross: (stands up) Now umm, remember I抦 still learning.
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Ross: One, two, three, four!
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out E抯 in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Ross: So?
Monica and Chandler: No!
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessica抯 horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Dina: Loosening the saddle on mother抯 horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
Dina: I can抰 believe she抯 really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into a kiss but; they抮e stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Joey: (as Jessica) I don抰 think so.
Dina: Who are you?!
Jessica Lockhart: What抯 the matter Dina? Don抰 you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that you抮e a better Jessica than I ever was!
Joey: Oh noo?
Cecilia: Well of course not, but you were very good.
Joey: Thanks!
Cecilia: And guess what? Good news! I got another job!
Joey: Great! Hey! Alright! Well-well what is it?!
Cecilia: A film in Guadalajara!
Joey: The airport?
Cecilia: No that抯 La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone?
Cecilia: Eight months.
Joey: That抯 a really long time.
Cecilia: Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant again桾hat is桰 tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. You抳e, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Joey: Good luck.
Cecilia: You too.
(They kiss and both put their hands on the other抯 face like Jessica would do.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. We抮e seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Phoebe: Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer to come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Matthew Perry: Eee!! (This causes more laughter.)
Lisa Kudrow: Do it again!
(Matthew mimics the sound again.)
End
(Why was this the trailer? Well, that抯 because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show.)
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