Nicole Kidman（在线收听）

Nicole Kidman

                               -- Growing out of Love

Kidman: I didn't think that I was ever going to have the success that I have now. I'm very surprised. I go in to see my ¹⁾agent that other day, I said, "Can you believe this?"  This is kinda like "wow"!

Interviewer: Do you think that being Mrs. Tom Cruise in any way hurt your career? 

Kidman: What does it matter? It was, I mean, hurt it? I had a life with him. I spent a decade of my life with him and loved him. Still, we'll always, you know, I mean, when you spend that amount of time with someone, they are with you. So therefore, when you say, well, did it hurt your career, who cares? That's what I wanted.

Interviewer: I've read that you put your career on the ²⁾back burner and allowed his career to be more important to you than your own. 

Kidman: Yeah, of course. He earned way more money than me.

Interviewer: Did you feel you were being held back? 

Kidman: I don't look at it that way. 

Interviewer: You said, in that period of time, you can't have it all. But you are. You're having a huge career and you're raising two children alone. 

Kidman: Yeah, I am doing it and I suppose that's why, I mean, I'm tired. 

She thought she was ³⁾gawky and her hair was too ⁴⁾frizzy, her skin too pale. And ⁵⁾overall, that she was too tall. 

Kidman: I was teased, really teased.

Interviewer: How tall are you?

Kidman: I'm five ten and a half, but I think now maybe I've grown half an inch and I'm five eleven. I was this height when I was thirteen years old, which is really hard. Hard...

Interviewer: Yeah. There's not one guy in your whole school who was as tall as you.

Kidman: Oh no. They all came up to here. It was awful. 

Interviewer: Did you feel like ...

Kidman: Yeah, I had this thing where I liked to say "I'm not big" then because everyone goes, "Oh you're such a big girl. " "No, no, I'm not big, I'm not big." 

It's been an issue in her career. Going back to her American debut in Days of Thunder. She was afraid that she was too tall to get the part opposite the star, Tom Cruise. She not only got the part, she got the man. 

Interviewer: Was it love at first sight? One look?

Kidman: Not one look, but it was pretty powerful. You fall madly in love and that was sort of, you know, that was my love of my life, so that was a big thing.

Interviewer: It started good. 

Kidman: Very good. 

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise got married a year after they met. There were rumours that he, and perhaps she, too, were gay. Rumours they both denied. Nicole insists theirs was a real marriage. 

Kidman: Love is an emotion that is so ⁶⁾compelling and ⁷⁾overwhelming and ⁸⁾intoxicating and extraordinary and they're right -- movies and books and songs, and we all know why.

But just as her career was beginning to ⁹⁾take off, her private life ¹⁰⁾crashed. After ten years, Tom Cruise asked for a divorce, saying only, "Nicole knows why." Nicole ¹¹⁾fell apart. 

Kidman: That was a terrible, terrible time in my life and a lot of things happened. Umm, in terms of my health, everything...

Interviewer: You had a ¹²⁾miscarriage. 

Kidman: ... which I don't even want to talk about. Everything ¹³⁾crumbled at the same time and that's when you go, but if someone else is sitting out there now watching and saying, "I don't think I'm gonna ¹⁴⁾get through", ... you can.

   She says that now, but back then she was so ¹⁵⁾devastated. She says she couldn't get out of bed and didn't stop crying until her mother arrived from Australia. 

Kidman: You know, you cry and my mom would say, "What are you crying about? Get up, stop complaining, and move on. Life goes on, girl."

Interviewer: Do you blame yourself?

Kidman: Well, of course there's two people to blame here. I mean there's a whole story behind, oh, everything and it's not, it's certainly not for public ¹⁶⁾scrutiny.

Even with the great roles, the ¹⁷⁾triumphant success, the talk of more and more Oscar nominations, Nicole Kidman admits she's lonely. 

Kidman: Do I want to be alone? No. I would love to have... I would love that. Do I feel slightly embarrassed saying that on television? Oh, I sound like a ¹⁸⁾wallflower. It's like I would love to meet somebody. I'd love to be ¹⁹⁾swept off my feet. I mean to have those goose-bumps and that feeling in your stomach when you just go "Ahh!" Please, that would be fun. That would be lovely. 

妮歌·基曼

                    --当爱已成往事

基曼：我从没想到自己会拥有今天这样的成功。我太感到出乎意料了。有一天我去看我的经纪人，我说：“你能相信这一切吗？”这太让人惊奇了！

记者：你是否认为，嫁给了汤姆·克鲁斯在一定程度上毁了你的事业？

基曼：那有什么关系呢？我是说，那叫毁了事业？我曾和他一起生活。我一生中有十年时间和他生活在一起，我爱过他。你知道，我是说当你和某个人一起生活了那么长的时间，他就已经和你分不开了，我们仍然，也将永远会在一起。所以，你来问我是不是毁了我的事业--管它呢！那是我的选择啊。

记者：我听闻你曾把自己的事业低调处理，而让他的事业比你自己的更受重视。

基曼：是的，当然是。他赚的钱比我赚的多嘛。

记者：你有没有觉得过自己给妨碍了？

基曼：我不那么看。

记者：那个时候你说过，不可能样样俱得。可你现在得到了--你事业腾飞，还独力养了两个孩子。

基曼：是啊，是这样，所以我说我觉得好累。

妮歌从前还觉得自己太笨、头发太卷、皮肤太白了。她更嫌自己长得太高。

基曼：那时我被别人嘲笑，老被嘲笑。

记者：你有多高？

基曼：五英尺十点五英寸，我想我现在可能又长高了半寸，到五英尺十一英寸了。我十三岁就长了这么高，太难了，很难……

记者：是啊。整家学校都没有哪个男孩和你一样高。

基曼：哦，没有。他们只长到我这儿。太可怕了。

记者：你是否觉得……

基曼：是的，我当时很在乎这个，我总说“我个子不大”，因为人人都说：“哦，你真是个大个子女孩。”“不，不，我个子不大，我个子不大。”

个子问题一直纠缠着她的事业。提起她当年演出第一部美国片《雷霆壮志》时，她还担心因为个高的缘故而演不成汤姆·克鲁斯的对手戏。结果她不仅得到角色，也赢得了爱人。

记者：那是不是一见钟情？惊鸿一瞥？

基曼：不是惊鸿一瞥，不过印象分很高。疯狂地陷入爱河，像找到了一生之爱那样，那对我可是大事。

记者：有个好的开端。

基曼：非常好的开端。

妮歌·基曼和汤姆·克鲁斯认识一年后结了婚。谣传他--或者还有她--都是同性恋。他俩否认了此谣言。妮歌坚持说，他们之间是真正的婚姻。

基曼：爱情让人臣服，让人难以抵抗而迷醉，爱情太神奇了，电影、书还有歌中说的都太对了，我们明白了那种感觉。

但在她的事业才刚有起色的时候，她的私生活却一团糟。结婚十年，汤姆·克鲁斯提出离婚时只说了一句：“妮歌知道原因。”妮歌崩溃了。

基曼：那是我一生中的黑暗时期，发生了很多事。唔，我的健康也出了问题，一切都乱糟糟的。

记者：你还流产了。

基曼：我不想谈此问题。一切都同时坍塌，经历过这种事的人如果坐在一边看到我说这番话，如果这人说：“我想我熬不过去。”--其实你能。

现在她说起来容易，可当时她感觉惨不见天日。她说她甚至起不了床，不停地哭，一直到她的母亲从澳洲来看她。

基曼：我哭啊哭，妈妈就说：“你有什么好哭？起床，别再抱怨了，动一动。生活还是要继续啊，孩子。”

记者：你自责吗？

基曼：说到责备，两个人都该被责备。我是说，这件事另有内情，只是不便于公开说出来。

尽管得到了很棒的角色，有了辉煌的成功，获得了更多的奥斯卡提名奖项，妮歌·基曼还是坦诚地说她感到孤独。

基曼：我想不想一个人过？不想。我希望……希望有爱侣。我在电视上这么说会不会感到稍许难为情？哦，听起来好像我没人要似的。我想遇到合意的人。我希望被爱冲击。就像给当胸一记重击，让你措手不及。哗，那会很有意思，那太好了。

注释：

1) agent [5eidVEnt] n. 经纪人

2) back burner 一时非优先的地位，从属地位

3) gawky [5^C:ki] a. 迟钝的，笨拙的

4) frizzy [5frizi] a. 卷曲的

5) overall [5EuvErC:l] adv. 总地来说

6) compelling [kEm5peliN] a. 强制的，强迫的

7) overwhelming [7EuvE5welmiN] a. 无法抵抗的

8) intoxicating [in5tCksIkeitiN] a. 醉人的

9) take off 开始成功，开始好转

10) crash [krAF] v. 坠落，坠毁

11) fall apart 散架，崩溃

12) miscarriage [mis5kAridV] n. 流产

13) crumble [5krQmbl] v. 粉碎，崩溃

14) get through 穿过，通过

15) devastated [5devEsteitiN] a. 毁坏的

16) scrutiny [5skru:tini] n. 详细审查

17) triumphant [trai5QmfEnt] a. 胜利的，成功的

18) wallflower [5wC:lflaJE(r)] n. 舞会中没有舞伴而坐着看的女子

19) sweep off 冲击