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American Old-time Radio Classic Favorites
Last Year's Christmas Bill (II)

Gracie: How do you do, are you Mr. Vanderlipp, the president of this bank?
Mr. Vanderlipp: I am.
Gracie: Well um, I wonder if you'd do something for me?
Mr. Van de Lith: I suppose you'd like me to 1)authorize you a loan?
Gracie: I would not! Just because I'm alone don't think you can authorize me.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam...
Gracie: Do I look like the sort of a girl who can be authorized?
Mr. Vanderlipp: But I didn't...
Gracie: And you won't! I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Mr. Vanderlipp: But...
Gracie: I'll authorize.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Believe me I meant no harm. What is the nature of your business?
Gracie: Oh well I'd like a job in your bank.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I see, in what department?
Gracie: Uh how about the cheque room?
Mr. Vanderlipp: Cheque room?
Gracie: I want to get my hands on some cheques. I, I mean, I like to handle cheques.
Mr. Vanderlipp: At what bank were you previously employed?
Gracie: Umm...
Mr. Vander Lith: Naturally I can check your record at any bank in the United Sates.
Gracie: Uh, I worked at the Bank of England.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Bank of England?
Gracie: Hip hip.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Were you a 2)teller?
Gracie: Not me. I 3)jolly well kept my mouth shut.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam I do not believe you were employed by the Bank of England.
Gracie: You don't huh well just ask me some 4)banking questions.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Very well. What would you do in the case of an 5)overdraft?
Gracie: Close the 6)transom. Next question.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Suppose we cease this 7)masquerade. You obviously know nothing whatever about banking.
Gracie: Then I don't get the job?
Mr. Vanderlipp: No.
Gracie: In that case put up your hands.
Mr. Vanderlipp: What?
Gracie: This is a 8)hold up.
Mr. Vanderlipp: You have no gun.
Gracie: Oh, well let's get back to the job.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Look I'm a busy man, what is this all about?
Gracie: Well I've got to 9)recover some cheques I wrote on this bank. You see I haven't got an account here and my husband says I'll go to jail.
Mr. Vanderlipp: And so you will unless something is done. Perhaps I could authorize you a loan?
Gracie: Ah there you go again!
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam.
Gracie: When you get a girl alone that's all you think about authorize.
Mr. Van de Lith: Madam!
Gracie: And at your age.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Madam, please!
Gracie: Never! I'd rather go to jail. Goodbye you you you old authorizer you.
Mr. Vanderlipp: No!

(Gracie's husband George comes to the bank to see whether he can save her from being putting into prison.)

Mr. Vanderlipp: Now let me get this straight Mr. Burns, you want to take all the money out of your bank account and open one for your wife?
George: Yes, then those cheques she wrote will clear. That is if, you'll lend me a hundred dollars to go with it.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Uh, glad to lend you a hundred. Uh how about 10)collateral?
George: Why, Mr. Vanderlipp I've never need, I've never needed collateral, I've gotten where I am today on my face.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I believe you, shows considerable 11)wear and tear.
George: Well oh all I need is a hundred, I'll pay you back right away, why a man like me can make a hundred 12)in no time.
Mr. Vanderlipp: I'm sorry Mr. Burns.
Bill: Oh Mr. Vanderlipp.
Mr. Vanderlipp: Yes Mr. Goodwin!
George: Oh hello Bill, say Bill, tell Mr. Vanderlipp how quick I can make a hundred.
Bill: Oh no time at all Mr. Vanderlipp his next birthday ought to do it.
George: Oh fine.
Bill: Mr. Vanderlipp I'm about to make a 13)withdrawal from my 14)safe deposit box. May I have the usual three armed guards?
Mr. Vanderlipp: Of course Mr. Goodwin.
George: Say Bill, you must have a fortune in that box?
Bill: Oh I have.
George: Could I a, could you lend me a little?
Bill: Sure George all you want. All right guards put the box down right here.
George: Boy.
Bill: I'll open it. There, uh now George how many pounds do you want?
George: Pounds? Bill what have you got in there?
Bill: Maxwell House coffee of course. What do you think I keep in a safe deposit box, junk like diamonds and money?
George: But Bill what I need is money.
Bill: George what good is money? Can money buy happiness? No. Can money buy 15)contentment? No. Can money buy a new car?
George: No no, but it can keep Gracie out of jail.
Bill: Out of jail?
George: Yeah, she wrote some bad cheques and unless I deposit some money for her she'll go to jail, so you can see why I need more than coffee.
Bill: Oh you're not kidding you need 16)doughnuts too.
George: Huh?
Bill: If Gracie goes to jail you're gonna starve.
George: Bill, I don't need any doughnuts.
Bill: Oh you're right George, Maxwell House is delicious all by itself.
George: OK if you don't want to lend me the money.
Bill: I'll lend you the money, here help yourself take all you want.
George: Gee thanks Bill, now Gracie won't have to go to jail.
Bill: Good.

注释:
1) authorize [5C:WEraiz] v. 批准,授权
2) teller [5telE] n. (银行等的)出纳员,讲述者
3) jolly [5dVCli] ad. 很,非常
4) banking [5bANkiN] n. 银行业
5) overdraft [5EuvEdrB:ft] n. 透支
6) transom [5trAnsEm] n. 气窗,(门、窗等的)横档
7) masquerade [7ma:skE5reid] n. 化装舞会
8) holdup [5hEuldQp] n. 拦劫,打劫
9) recover [ri5kQvE] v. 重新获得
10) collateral [kC5lAtErEl] a. 附属担保的
11) wear and tear 磨损,折磨
12) in no time 立刻
13) withdrawal [wiT5drC:El] n. 收回,撤回
14) safe deposit (银行里的)贵重物品保险库
15) contentment [kEn5tentmEnt] n. 满意,满意
16) doughnut [5dEunQt] n. 炸面饼圈

美国经典广播剧回顾
去年圣诞节的帐单(下)

格蕾西:您好。您是这家银行的行长,范德利普先生吗?
范德利普先生:我是。
格蕾西:嗯,您可以帮我个忙吗 ?
范德利普先生:我猜您是想要我批准您的贷款吧?
格蕾西:才不是!别看我是单身一人就想着要占我的便宜。
范德利普先生:女士……
格蕾西:我看起来像那种可以随便让别人占便宜的女孩吗?
范德利普先生:但我不……
格蕾西:你也休想!我到这儿来可不是想遭受羞辱的。
范德利普先生:但是……
格蕾西:我说了算。
范德利普先生:相信我,我并没有恶意。您想办什么事?
格蕾西:哦,对了,我想在您的银行找份工作。
范德利普先生:我明白了,想去哪个部门呢?
格蕾西:呃,去支票室怎么样?
范德利普先生:支票室?
格蕾西:我想亲自捣鼓那些支票。我,我是说,我喜欢处理支票。
范德利普先生:你以前曾在哪家银行供职?
格蕾西:嗯……
范德利普先生:按规定我可以检查你在美国任何一家银行的记录。
格蕾西:呃,我曾在英国银行工作过。
范德利普先生:英国银行?
格蕾西:是呀是呀。
范德利普先生:你曾当过出纳?
格蕾西:我才没有呢,我的嘴巴总是闭得好好的。
范德利普先生:女士,我才不相信你曾在英国银行工作过。
格蕾西:不信?那你问我一些银行业的问题好了。
范德利普先生:好吧。在遇到透支时你会怎么做?
格蕾西:关上小窗。下个问题。
范德利普先生:别再演下去了。显然你对银行业一无所知。
格蕾西:那我没法得到一份工作了?
范德利普先生:不行。
格蕾西:这样的话,举起手来。
范德利普先生:什么?
格蕾西:这是打劫。
范德利普先生:你没枪。
格蕾西:哦,是啊,我们还是回到工作的问题上去吧。
范德利普先生:听着,我很忙,到底是怎么一回事?
格蕾西:我想取回我写给这家银行的一些支票。您瞧,我在这儿并没有帐户,我丈夫说,我会被送进监狱。
范德利普先生:除非干点儿别的什么你才不会进监狱。也许我可以批准你的一项贷款?
格蕾西:瞧您又来了!
范德利普先生:女士。
格蕾西:你在和一个女孩独处时,脑子里就想着占别人便宜。
范德利普先生:女士!
格蕾西:也不瞧瞧您多大岁数了。
范德利普先生:女士,别这样!
格蕾西:永远也别想!我宁愿进监狱。再见,你你你,你这个老想“占别人便宜”的家伙。
范德利普先生:不!

(格蕾西的丈夫乔治来到银行,看看有什么办法能救妻子,使其不至于被抓进监狱。)

范德利普先生:我这么说吧,伯恩斯先生。您想取出您户头上所有的钱,并想为您妻子开一个帐户。
乔治:是的。这样,她写的那些支票就可以兑现了。前提条件是,您如果可以借我一百美元的话。
范德利普先生:哦,很高兴借给您一百美元。进行担保怎么样?
乔治:怎么了,范德利普先生?我从不需要,我从不需要担保,我的这张脸就是信誉保证,到哪儿都是一样。 
范德利普先生:我相信你,看起来损耗得相当厉害。
乔治:我就需要一百美元,我会马上还给你的,像我这样的男人赚一百美元是小菜一碟。
范德利普先生:我很抱歉,伯恩斯先生。
比尔:哦,范德利普先生。
范德利普先生:古德温先生,什么事?
乔治:你好,比尔。我说比尔,告诉范德利普先生我赚一百美元有多容易。
比尔:哦,根本不需要时间,范德利普先生。等到他下一次生日就有一大笔进帐了。
乔治:哦,太好了。
比尔:范德利普先生,我想取消贵重物品保险库。我可以像往常一样叫上三名武装警卫吗?
范德利普先生:当然可以,古德温先生。
乔治:我说比尔,你那盒子里肯定有一大笔财富。
比尔:哦,是啊。
乔治:我能,你能借给我一点吗?
比尔:当然,乔治,你想借多少就借多少。好了,警卫,请把盒子放在这里。
乔治:天哪。
比尔:我要打开它了。好了,你想要多少磅,乔治?
乔治:磅?比尔,你在这儿放了些什么?
比尔:当然是麦氏咖啡了。你想我会在贵重物品保险库里存些什么,钻石或钱那些垃圾?
乔治:但是比尔,我就需要钱。
比尔:乔治,钱有什么好?钱能买来快乐吗?不能。钱能买来满足吗?不能。钱能买来一辆新车吗?
乔治:不能,不能。但它能救格蕾西,使她不至于进监狱。
比尔:不进监狱?
乔治:是啊。她写了些空头支票,除非我以她的名义存些钱,否则她就得进监狱。现在你明白了我为什么需要钱,更甚于咖啡。
比尔:你不是开玩笑吧,你还需要甜甜圈。
乔治:呃?
比尔:如果格蕾西进监狱,你就得饿死了。
乔治:比尔,我不需要甜甜圈。
比尔:你说得对,乔治,单喝麦氏咖啡就已经非常美味了。
乔治:好吧,如果你不想借我钱就算了。
比尔:我借给你钱,来吧,想拿多少就拿多少。
乔治:太谢谢你了,比尔。现在格蕾西就不会进监狱了。
比尔:太好了。
                 

  原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/crazy/4/26337.html