2011年ESL之日常生活 09 Getting Feedback on Writing（打印版）

2011年ESL之日常生活 09 Getting Feedback on Writing（在线收听）

09 Getting Feedback on Writing

GLOSSARY

marked up – edited; revised; corrected, usually by drawing lines and commentsin red ink

* The professor marked up Jim’s essay because he used the passive voiceinstead of the active voice.

draft – an initial version of a written document that needs to be reviewed andedited one or more times before it is finished

* How many drafts did you go through before you had the final version?

revision – edit; a suggested change to improve a written document

* Most of these revisions focus on sentence structure and word choice.

comment – a written opinion about something or additional information aboutsomething, usually written for the consideration of the original author

* Most of the comments were positive, but some people really disliked the thirdparagraph.

margin – the white space at the top, bottom, and right- and left-hand sides of apage; the white space around printed text

* The teacher asked us to use one-inch margins for our homework assignment.

to underline – to draw a thin line underneath text, usually for emphasis

* This style guide says we should underline the titles of books and put the titles ofsongs in italics.

introduction – the first paragraph(s) of an essay, used to present the subject ofthe entire essay and let readers know how the rest of the essay is structured

* The introduction should be interesting enough to catch the readers’ attentionand get them interested in what is coming next.

run-on sentence – a sentence that is very long, usually because it uses “and,” “or,” and “but” too many times, and would be better if separated into two or moresmaller sentences

* Run-on sentences can be very difficult to understand. Try expressing the sameideas in two to three shorter sentences instead.

body – the main part of an essay, usually the paragraphs between theintroduction and conclusion

* You should use the body of your essay to provide detail and include supportingstatistics.

transition – a word or short phrase used between sentences or betweenparagraphs to make the writing smoother and help readers follow the flow ofideas

* “Additionally,” “in addition,” “moreover,” and “furthermore” are all transitions thathave the same meaning.

well supported – with a lot of proof or evidence; with a convincing or persuasivereason to believe something

* Janey’s essay about the need to eat more fruits and vegetables was wellsupported by statistics from the American Medical Association.

to cite – to refer to what is written in another document or what has been said byan expert in order to support one’s own argument or idea

* If you cite an encyclopedia in your essay, be sure to include the page number.

source – the book, article, or interview where a particular piece of informationcomes from, especially when referring to that information in one’s writing

* Most students know that a peer-reviewed scientific journal article is a muchbetter source than a webpage found on Wikipedia.

conclusion – the final paragraph(s) in an essay, used to restate one’s mainargument or idea, briefly referring to the main ideas that were included in thebody of the essay

* Make sure your conclusion refers back to the main ideas you discussedthroughout your essay.

to summarize – to state the main points or main ideas of a larger document,usually in just a few sentences

* Our homework assignment is to summarize the novel in just one paragraph.

constructive criticism – advice that is meant to help someone improvesomething by showing him or her what is wrong with it

* At first, I was hurt by Quinton’s constructive criticism, but then I realized he wasjust trying to help me.

demoralizing – frustrating and depressing; making one feel like one shouldn’t tryto do something because one is very bad at it or because it won’t be successful

* The company’s president has been announcing budget cuts every week for thepast three months, and it is very demoralizing for the employees.

battle wound – something that happened to one in the past and was difficult orpainful, and that one remembers clearly, but is no longer difficult or painful andhas actually made someone stronger in some way

* They’ve been happily married for more than 30 years, and they often laughwhen talking about their battle wounds from the first few difficult years ofmarriage.

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COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. What did Professor Rodriguez do to Xica’s paper?

a) He edited it.

b) He graded it.

c) He folded it.

2. What did Professor Rodriguez do to the introduction?

a) He drew a circle around it.

b) He drew lines under all the text.

c) He drew arrows pointing to it.

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WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

comment

The word “comment,” in this podcast, means a written opinion about somethingor additional information about something, usually written for the consideration ofthe original author: “Please send me your comments by Friday, and we’ll have anew version for your review by next Wednesday.” The phrase “for comment”

means for review: “Send this report to the managers for comment.” A “comment”

can also be one’s opinion or critique about something: “This novel is aninteresting comment on race relations in the 1960s.” Finally, the phrase “nocomment” is used when one is being asked many questions by reporters anddoes not want to respond or be quoted: “Is it true you stole $3 million from thecompany?” “No comment.”

margin

In this podcast, the word “margin” means the white space at the top, bottom, andright- and left-hand sides of a page, or the white space around printed text:

“Young tried to make his essay seem longer by using a large font and very bigmargins.” A “margin” is also the amount by which something wins or loses, orexceeds a certain minimum amount: “The team is expected to win by a 15-pointmargin.” Or, “What kind of profit margins do you anticipate for the company next year?” When talking about statistics, the “margin of error” reflects how likely it isthat the actual number will be different than the calculated number: “Does thispoll have a large margin of error?”

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CULTURE NOTE

Extra Help for College/University StudentsWhen university students don’t understand a “concept” (idea) or are not doingwell in a particular course, they can get “extra” (additional) help in many ways.

University professors are required to have “office hours,” or periods of time eachweek when students can “drop by” (go somewhere without an appointment) theprofessor’s office to ask questions and receive assistance. If the office hours arenot “convenient” (held at a time when one is available) for the student, mostprofessors will schedule an appointment with the student.

When students need additional help, they can “turn to” (ask for help from) eachother by forming “study groups” (small groups of people who study together).

Most universities also have “tutoring centers,” or places where “tutors” (peoplewith strong knowledge in a particular subject) help students understand difficultconcepts. Universities often offer free tutoring centers for math and writing.

Tutoring services in other subjects are often free for “student athletes” (studentswho play on the university’s sports teams), but other students many need to payfor private tutoring.

In classes with many students, some universities have “note-taking” (the act ofwriting down information as one hears it in a lecture) services for “core classes”

(classes that almost everyone takes). Students can pay to receive a copy of thenotes for a particular day. This is especially helpful when students weren’t ableto attend a particular lecture, or if they realized that their own notes aren’t verygood.

Sometimes professors put their old exams “on reserve” (on hold) at the library.

Students can “check them out” (take from the library) for a few hours, gradingtheir own performance on old exams as they prepare for their own exams.

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Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – a; 2 – b

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 685: GettingFeedback on Writing.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 685. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is eslpod.com. Go there to download a Learning Guide for thisepisode. The Learning Guide helps you improve your English and helps us keepthis podcast audio free for everyone.

This episode is called “Getting Feedback on Writing,” getting someone’s reactionto, comments on, and corrections on your writing. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Xica: I just got my paper back from Professor Rodriguez and it’s all marked up.

Lucas: Let me see. It doesn’t look too bad. This is a draft, right? His note at thetop says to make revisions before handing in a final version. He’s trying to helpyou get a better grade.

Xica: Maybe, but there’s nothing he likes about the essay. Look at all of thosecomments in the margins. He underlined the entire introduction and wrote “runonsentence” next to it.

Lucas: That’s easy to fix, and it is a run-on sentence, you know.

Xica: And in the body, he wrote that I had no transitions and that my argumentsweren’t well supported.

Lucas: Well, transitions are easy to put in and you just need to cite a few moresources – that’s all.

Xica: Yeah, but that’s not all. Next to the conclusion, he wrote that I didn’tproperly summarize my main points. See what I mean? There’s nothing he likesabout this essay.

Lucas: I think you should take the constructive criticism as it’s meant – to helpyou.

Xica: It’s easy for you to say. You’re done with college. It’s kind of demoralizingto get your paper back all marked up.

Lucas: True, but you forget that I have my own battle wounds – lots of them!

[end of dialogue]

Our dialogue begins with Xica saying to Lucas, “I just got my paper back fromProfessor Rodriguez and it’s all marked up.” A “paper,” in this case, is somethingyou would give to a teacher or professor in school, some writing that you had todo, maybe an essay. Xica has received her paper back from ProfessorRodriguez. She gave it to Professor Rodriguez and Rodriguez gave it back toher all marked up. “To be marked up” means that it has been corrected, edited,perhaps changed. Usually the teacher or professor will use a red pen, and theywill circle things and write things there, and indicate how it needs be corrected orchanged.

Lucas says, “Let me see. It doesn’t look too bad. This is a draft, right?” A “draft”

is the first attempt or one of your first attempts to write a certain paper ordocument. Usually, the draft has be changed, corrected, and reviewed. So,when someone says, “This paper is just a draft,” they mean it still isn’t perfectyet. Lucas says that his, meaning Professor Rodriguez, note at the top of thepaper says to make revisions before handing in a final version. “Revisions” arechanges to what you have written, changes to the paper or document to make itbetter. “To hand in” means to give to, in this case, the professor. “Hand in” is thephrasal verb we often use in school to talk about things that you are giving to theprofessor or the teacher as a student, but it also could be used in othercircumstances.

Lucas says, “He (the professor) is trying to help you get a better grade (a bettermark on your paper).” Xica says, “Maybe, but there’s nothing he likes about theessay. Look at all of those comments in the margins.” “Comments” are, in thiscase, someone’s opinion about something or additional information that theywant you to think about and perhaps use in making your revisions. There areother meanings of the word “comment,” and those can be found in our LearningGuide. A “margin” (margin), when talking about a piece of paper, is the space atthe top, bottom, right or left sides of the page; they are often white, but notalways. The margin is where you could write comments on someone’s writing.

It’s space that is not usually written in. “Margin” has a couple of differentmeanings in English and those, once again, can be found in our wonderfulLearning Guide. Xica says that the professor underlined the entire introduction and wrote (quote) “run-on sentence” (unquote) next to it. “To underline” is todraw a thin, small line below the text, underneath the writing, often to emphasizeor point out something. The “introduction” is the first part of the paper; in thiscase it was an essay. The introduction usually tells you what the essay is goingto be about. Xica says that the professor underlined the entire introduction andwrote “run-on sentence.” A “run-on sentence” is a sentence that is very long,often one the uses the word “and,” “or,” or another conjunction too many times sothe sentence keeps going and going and going. Usually, a run-on sentence isone where you can put a period in; you can break the sentence up and it willmake more sense or read more easily. A run-on sentence, in other words, is notsomething you want to have, and that’s what the professor is telling poor Xica.

Lucas says, “That’s easy to fix (that’s easy to correct), and it is a run-onsentence, you know.” He’s agreeing with the professor that Xica’s first sentenceor the introduction is a run-on sentence. Xica then says, “And in the body, hewrote that I had no transitions and that my arguments weren’t well supported.”

The “body,” when we’re talking about an essay, a document like this, is the mainpart of the essay; it’s the main part of the document. You have an introduction, abody, and a conclusion. So it’s the longest, typically, part of the essay, whereyou present the main points you are making and any evidence to support thosepoints. Xica says that in the body of her essay the professor wrote that she hadno transitions. A “transition” in writing is a word or short phrase that we usebetween sentences or between paragraphs that make the writing smoother; theyhelp you go from one point to the next point. So, phrases like “in addition” and“nevertheless” and “however,” these could all be transitional words or phrases.

Xica says that the professor told her she had no transitions and that herarguments weren’t well supported. “Well supported” means that you have a lot ofevidence or proof for what you are saying. You are able to give facts that showthat your conclusion is true.

Lucas says, “Well, transitions are easy to put in.” It’s not difficult to put in thewords and phrases so that the essay flows more smoothly; you have phrasesthat take you from one part to the next. He says, “you just need to cite a fewmore sources.” In order for the essay to be well supported is what he means.

“To cite” (cite) means to refer to typically another written document, maybesomething in a book or a magazine that was said in order to support your ownarguments. It could be something that another expert said; it could beinformation that supports what you are trying to argue for. So, Lucas says that inorder to have a well supported argument, Xica just needs to put in – just needs towrite in, to cite a few more sources. “Source,” here, is the book, the article, theinterview where that particular piece of information comes from.

Xica says, “Yeah, but that’s not all. Next to the conclusion, he wrote that I didn’tproperly summarize my main points.” The “conclusion” is the last, final part of anessay. Remember, we have the introduction, the body, and now the conclusion.

The conclusion of an essay usually summarizes your main points. “Tosummarize” means to state the main ideas in a short form, very quickly using justa couple of sentences. Xica says, “See what I mean? There’s nothing he likesabout this essay.” So, the professor didn’t like the introduction, he didn’t like thebody, and he didn’t like the conclusion.

Lucas says, “I think you should take the constructive criticism as it’s meant – tohelp you.” “Constructive criticism” is advice that is meant to help someoneimprove something by showing them what is wrong with what they’re doing now.

It’s “constructive” because you give it to the person in order to help them bebetter. Of course, when you are “criticizing” someone, when you are telling themwhat they are doing wrong, they don’t always consider that advice to beconstructive, to be given to you in order to help you. But, Lucas says that’s whatXica needs to do, that’s what the criticism is meant to do, that’s the purpose of it.

So, Xica says, “It’s easy for you to say.” That expression means that it’s easy foranother person to tell you what to do because they don’t have to do itthemselves. Xica says, “You’re done with college (meaning you’re finished withcollege, you are no longer in college – at the university). It’s kind of demoralizingto get your paper back all marked up.” “Demoralizing” is something that isdepressing, something that is frustrating, something that makes you feel likeyou’re not very good and will never be very good at this action – this activity, inXica’s case writing an essay. She found the professor’s comments demoralizing.

Lucas says, “True (it can be demoralizing), but you forget that I have my ownbattle wounds – lots of them!” A “battle” is when two groups of people arefighting each other, perhaps two different countries. A “wound” (wound) is whenyou are hurt; perhaps you have been shot or you have been cut. A “battlewound,” then, is some injury that you have received in a battle. Lucas is usingthe expression here to mean that he has also received a lot of criticism. Hereceived difficult comments from professors when he was in school so that healso knows what it is like to get these kinds of comments, and that Xica’sexperience is not unique. She’s not the only one, he also has gone through thisexperience.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.