2011年ESL之就医和人际交往 16 Being Blunt and Stubborn（打印版）

2011年ESL之就医和人际交往 16 Being Blunt and Stubborn（在线收听）

16 Being Blunt and Stubborn

GLOSSARY

direct – sharing one’s opinion openly, without softening it or hiding some aspectof it

* It’s okay to share criticism, but did you have to be so direct when telling her thereport was poorly written?

forthright – direct; bold; outspoken, very open, not hiding anything

* If you aren’t forthright about your opinion, how will anyone ever know whatyou’re really thinking?

to speak (one’s) mind – to share one’s opinion, especially if other people havea different opinion

* Very few people have the courage to speak their mind around the CEO.

to straddle the fence – to be indecisive; to not be able to decide what one wantsto do or what one believes, because one is able to see the advantages anddisadvantages of more than one option

* Jose Antonio is still straddling the fence, trying to choose between the two joboffers.

namby-pamby – indecisive, not able to make a clear decision; changing one’smind

* He’s too namby-pamby to be a successful politician.

there’s (something) and there’s (something) – a phrase used to emphasizehow extreme something is, where the first word is a broader concept and thesecond word is more specific and extreme, usually in a negative way

* There’s dieting and there’s anorexia. I don’t think she eats anything at all!

pigheadedness – stubbornness, an unwillingness to change one’s opinion

* His pigheadedness is going to cause his business to fail. He has to learn tolisten to his business advisors and accept their ideas, even if he doesn’t likethem.

to budge – to move slightly when pushed, or to change one’s opinion inresponse to new information

* A compromise is possible only if both parties are willing to budge.

to sway – to change someone’s opinion; to persuade or convince someone toconsider another idea or opinion; to make someone move in some way

* The earthquake damage swayed lawmakers toward passing tougher buildinglaws.

admirable – something that one likes and respects because one thinks it isgood, especially when talking about characteristics of other people

* Her concern for her husband’s parents is admirable.

trait – characteristic; feature; some aspect of one’s personality or appearance

* I think his best traits are his generosity and self-confidence.

blunt – direct and straightforward, without softening one’s words to avoid hurtingother people’s feelings

* Doctors have to learn to deliver bad news to their patients without being tooblunt.

stubborn as a mule – very stubborn; highly unwilling to change one’s opinion orbelief

* Jacques refuses to ask for help because he’s as stubborn as a mule anddoesn’t want to admit his family doesn’t have enough money to buy food.

to pull (one’s) punches – to not be as forceful or damaging as one could be; tosoften one’s actions and minimize the consequences of those actions

* Politicians rarely choose to pull their punches when campaigning.

to speak up – to volunteer to share one’s opinion, even when it is unpopularand/or nobody has asked to hear it

* If you feel that strongly about the plan, you should speak up during our nextmeeting.

to stand by – to be committed to something; to continue to believe in somethingeven when it is unpopular or creates problems

* No matter what happens in court tomorrow, we’ll always stand by our son.

to be on the wrong side of an argument – to disagree with another person; tobe involved in an argument or disagreement with another person

* Nobody wants to be on the wrong side of an argument with Liesel. She’s anexcellent debater who always wins.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Why doesn’t Dirk like Bruce?

a) Because Bruce is too opinionated.

b) Because Bruce is too loud.

c) Because Bruce looks like a pig.

2. What are you trying to do if you’re trying to sway someone?

a) You’re trying to sell them something.

b) You’re trying to persuade them to do something.

c) You’re giving them something good to drink.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

direct

The word “direct,” in this podcast, means sharing one’s opinion openly, withoutsoftening it or hiding some aspect of it: “When Chantrelle asked for feedback,she specifically asked her co-workers to be as direct as possible.” The word“direct” can also mean in a straight line or following the shortest route: “Whenthere’s a lot of traffic, sometimes the most direct route takes the longest.” Thephrase “direct flight” refers to airplane travel where a single flight takes a travelerfrom the departure city to the city they are traveling to, without stopping at anyother airports: “A direct flight was too expensive, so we’re stopping in Salt LakeCity and Dallas.” Finally, a “direct cost” is an expense that is tied specifically to aparticular product: “Raw materials are direct costs, but management expensesare indirect costs.”

to speak up

In this podcast, the phrase “to speak up” means to volunteer to share one’sopinion, even when it is unpopular and/or nobody has asked to hear it: “Everyonewas surprised when Marcia spoke up and explained why she disagreed with thegroup.” The phrase “to speak over (someone)” means to speak very loudly whileanother person is speaking, trying to make sure that everyone listens to oneself:

“Stop speaking over everyone else and wait for your turn!” The phrase “to speakdown to (someone)” means to talk in a superior way, thinking one is better thanother people: “Just because Ezra has a Ph.D., he thinks he’s the smartest personin the world and he always talks down to everyone else.”

CULTURE NOTE

Animals Associated with Personality TraitsIn this episode, we talked about “pigheadedness” and being as stubborn as a“mule” (an animal born to a female horse and a male donkey). Many otheranimals are “associated” (connected) with “certain” (specific) personality traits inEnglish.

Intelligent people are sometimes described as being “as wise as an “owl” (a largebird with round eyes and the ability to turn its head almost in a full circle and isawake at night). And you might hear people say “an elephant never forgets,”

referring to a general belief that elephants have “long memories” (the ability toremember things for a long period of time).

Lions are generally thought to be “brave” (courageous, not scared of things). Butthe phrase “to chicken out” means to change one’s mind and decide not to dosomething because one is too scared. Someone who is very “enthusiastic”

(wanting to do something and looking forward to it) about doing something,especially work, can be described as an “eager beaver” (a rodent-like animal witha large, flat tail that uses its teeth to cut down trees and use them to block riversto create ponds).

Shy people are sometimes described as being “as quiet as a mouse.” Someonewho had a lot to say but suddenly stops talking is said to “clam up,” because a“clam” is a sea animal that lives between two round shells that can close like thelips of a person who doesn’t want to speak.

People who “eat like a bird” eat very little. The phrase “to pig out” means to eat alot of something, and people who “eat like a horse” eat a lot of food.

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Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – a; 2 – b

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 729: Being Bluntand Stubborn.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 729. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

This podcast has a website, and the website is eslpod.com. Go there to becomea member and download the Learning Guide for this episode. All of the cool kidsare doing it!

This episode is a dialogue between Simone and Dirk about people who areperhaps a little more direct – a little more honest than you would want them tobe. Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Simone: So, what did you think of Bruce? Isn’t he great?

Dirk: Well, he’s certainly direct and forthright with his opinions. I don’t think I’veever met anyone who speaks his mind the way he does.

Simone: Yeah, isn’t that great? I’ve never liked a guy who straddles the fence orhas namby-pamby opinions. I’ve always liked guys with strong opinions.

Dirk: Well, there’s strong and there’s pigheadedness. Don’t you think?

Simone: What?! You think Bruce is pigheaded, just because he doesn’t budgewhen other people try to sway him? I think that’s an admirable trait.

Dirk: I think being blunt can be admirable under the right circumstances, butbeing stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people, don’t you think?

Simone: No, I don’t. Other people can pull their punches if they want to, but aman who’ll speak up about what he believes in and stand by it is a real man tome.

Dirk: I can see why you two make a perfect couple. I hope never to be on thewrong side of an argument with either one of you.

[end of dialogue]

Simone begins by saying to Dirk, “So, what do you think of Bruce?” meaningwhat is your opinion of Bruce. “Isn’t he great?” Isn’t he wonderful? Dirk says,“Well, he’s certainly direct and forthright in his opinions.” “To be direct” heremeans to give your opinion without trying to be nice to the other person; you tellthem exactly what you are thinking even if it might hurt them a little. “Direct” hasseveral meanings in English however; take a look at our Learning Guide forsome more of those. “To be forthright” (forthright – one word) is the same as“direct.” To be “outspoken” or “bold” are other synonyms – other words similar tothis word of “forthright.” He says, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who speakshis mind the way he does.” “To speak your mind” is an expression that means toshare your opinion even if other people have a different opinion. I speak mymind on the podcast sometimes. The idea is usually that maybe some peopledisagree with you, about cats or my neighbors’ children for example.

Simone says, “Yeah, isn’t that great? I’ve never liked a guy who straddles thefence or has namby-pamby opinions.” “To straddle (straddle) the fence” is anexpression that means to be indecisive, not to be able to decide what you wantor what you believe because you’re able to see the pluses and minuses – theadvantages and disadvantages of both sides. So, you don’t make up your mind;you don’t give your opinion because you’re not quite sure. Simone says that shedoesn’t like guys – men – who straddle the fence; she doesn’t like men who havenamby-pamby opinions, either. “Namby (namby) -pamby (pamby)” means not tobe able to make a clear decision, to be indecisive. It’s definitely a negative wayof describing someone who doesn’t make a decision, who sits back and says,“Well, maybe yes, maybe no.” “To straddle the fence” is more neutral; that is, itdoesn’t necessarily mean you’re criticizing the person. But “namby-pamby” –and those two words are not used in any other context in English that I know –“namby-pamby” is definitely a negative way to describe someone.

Simone says, “I’ve always liked guys with strong opinions.” Dirk says, “Well,there’s strong and then there’s pigheadedness.” Well there’s a couple of thingsgoing on in that expression, or that sentence. Dirk says that there is somethingcalled “pigheadedness.” This is a long word, all one word: “pig…headed…ness.”

“To be pigheaded” means to not change your opinion, to be stubborn. You won’tchange your opinion no matter what other people say. We can describesomeone as being pigheaded, and that is definitely a negative way to describethem. Why pigs? I don’t know, but that’s the expression. So, “pigheadedness”

is the state of or the condition of being stubborn. Dirk says, “there’s strong andthere’s pigheadedness.” We might more commonly say, “there’s strong and thenthere’s pigheadedness.” That construction – that structure of “there’s (something) and then there’s (something else)” is used to emphasize how oneword seems to be okay but the second word – the second concept is definitelynegative. So being strong, in your opinion, that’s okay. But being pigheaded,that’s not okay. Another example: “There’s dieting and then there’s anorexia.”

“To diet” means not to eat food because you are trying to lose weight. “Anorexia”

is a disease that causes you to not want to eat, and that can be very dangerousto your health; it can make you sick, it can even kill you. So, the first term ispositive or neutral, the second one is negative. There’s something and thenthere’s something else, and the something else is always negative. So Dirksays, “there’s strong and then there’s pigheadedness. Don’t you think?”

Simone says, “What?! You think Bruce is pigheaded, just because he doesn’tbudge when other people try to sway him?” Simone is obviously upset by Dirk’scomment. She says that he isn’t pigheaded just he doesn’t budge when otherpeople try to sway him. “To budge” (budge) means to move when you arepushed. In this case, it means to change your opinion when you get newinformation; someone tells you something and you change your mind. But ifsomeone tells you something and you still do not change your mind we might saythat you won’t budge, you won’t change your opinion. “To sway” (sway) heremeans to persuade or convince someone to consider another idea or to have adifferent opinion – to change someone’s opinion. Simone says that Brucedoesn’t budge when other people try to sway him – try to change his opinion.

She thinks that that is an admirable trait. Something that is “admirable” issomething you admire. That’s where the word comes from; (admire) is the verb,“admire.” “Admirable” is the adjective, someone who you have a high opinion of,who you respect. A “trait” (trait) is a characteristic, a feature, an aspect ofsomeone’s personality, the way someone acts. You could say that he is anhonest person or he is a confident person or he is a generous person, he giveshis money to other people who need it. Those are traits, for most peopleadmirable traits.

Dirk says, “I think being blunt can be admirable under the right circumstances,but being stubborn as a mule can make it hard on other people, don’t you think?”

Dirk is defending himself here. He’s saying that being blunt – that is, being direct– is okay. It’s okay to be forthright, direct, blunt, but to be stubborn as a mulecan make it hard on other people. A “mule” (mule) is the offspring – is the child –of a horse and a donkey. They are used as animals usually for transporting ormoving things or pulling things. Well, the idea is that mules are stubborn, likedonkeys are stubborn; they don’t change their mind, they don’t like to be moved.

I don’t know if that’s true or not, but that’s the expression. So, “to be stubborn asa mule” means to be very stubborn, not to want to change your mind ever. Dirk says that that can make it hard on other people; it can be difficult when you areworking with other people.

Simone does not agree. She says, “Other people can pull their punches if theywant to, but a man who’ll speak up about what he believes in and stands by it isa real man to me.” “To pull your punches” means not to be as forceful as youcould. Someone who could be more powerful or more forceful could perhapsdamage someone else or hurt someone else more, but they decide not to. Theexpression comes from boxing. “Boxing” is a sport where two people – usuallymen, who try to hit each other with their fists – with their hands and their arms. A“punch” is when you actually hit another person with your fist, which is your handclosed up tight. “To pull your punches” would be not to hit as hard as you could;that’s where the expression, I believe, comes from. Simone says that otherpeople may do that, but she wants a man who will speak up about what hebelieves in. “To speak up” is a two-word phrasal verb to meaning to say youropinion even when it is unpopular or no one wants to hear it. Simone says thatBruce, who I guess is her boyfriend or someone she perhaps wants to be herboyfriend, speaks up about what he believes in and stands by it. “To stand by(something or someone)” means to be committed to it, to continue to believe insomething or someone even when they are unpopular, even when things aregoing badly for them. Simone says that Bruce stands by his opinions; he doesn’tchange them because they are unpopular.

Dirk says, “I can see why you two make a perfect couple.” That is, why you are agood match, a good pair of people to be together. “I hope never to be on thewrong side of an argument with either one of you.” “To be on the wrong side ofan argument” means to disagree with another person, to have an argument withanother person. Normally when we say you’re on the wrong side of something,means that you’re wrong or that you are in a position or a situation that willprobably lose – that will not be the winning situation. You may talk aboutsomeone being on the wrong side of history, meaning they’re supporting anopinion or an idea that in many years people will consider wrong, for example.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.