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Passage B Wish for the Freshman Year
After four years, the time has come. In less than two weeks, I will have graduated. I look back now and I can't believe how fast it all went. I can still remember the first day of classes, looking on the map on the back of the Schedule of Classes and asking where the classroom building was. Now I'm a senior, looking at freshmen with envy. Every day I wish I could freeze time and make the next two weeks go more slowly. I know a lot of people who can't wait to graduate, but for me it's the opposite. I want to turn back time instead and cherish every day of my college experience once again.
For me, college has been a great learning experience, and most of the learning process has taken place outside of the classroom. My sophomore year of college was perhaps the most remarkable year of my life. This was the year that I finally convinced my mom that I was going to be OK living on campus, and she finally let me go. This was the year that I made some lifelong friends, and through many triumphs and failures I came to know more about myself. My sophomore year involved experimenting with new things, such as camping in mountains, attempting to present some lousy poems to newspapers and drawing cartoons of my teachers in class.
As I walk down the familiar routes on campus, I find myself doing a lot of soul-searching and reminiscing. I find myself wanting to start all over again and recapture the fun and excitement of my college days. I have been panicking at the idea of graduating. I have been going to school for as long as I can remember, and I feel like there is so much more that I want to learn, but instead I have to graduate. The world is enormous and the possibilities are endless. For the past four years I have been surrounded with a safety net. The student status has been a somewhat comforting feeling, giving me an escape from the realities of the world outside.
With less than two weeks left of school, I'm getting a queasy feeling deep down every time I think about the fact that I'm going to be graduating. For as long as I can remember, I have been a student. I feel like I'm living in denial about graduating. Every time I get asked about what I'm going to do after college I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's too difficult to even contemplate the idea that soon I will be waking up in the mornings and not have a class to which I should be going.
On a recent interview, I was asked, "Is this the profession you want for the rest of your life?" I was amused and almost laughed at the question, but I gave an honest answer. I don't know what the future holds. During the last four years I have changed my mind so many times, the idea of a lifetime commitment to a certain job seems like torture.
Walking on campus in the middle of the night I realize how much I will miss my college days. Every little thing seems so much more beautiful. And every little thing makes me realize how wonderful and special my college experience has been. I will cherish these days forever as I reluctantly close the doors on my college life.
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