他经常这么干吗？

　　-Leonard：Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone.

　　toy：玩具 xylophone：木琴

　　有时他还会自带玩具木琴。

　　I am really sorry about this.

　　我对这一切很抱歉。

　　-Stephanie：No, it's fine. You know, he's sweet.

　　不，我没事，你知道的他人很好。

　　-Sheldon：My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along.

　　all along：自始至终，一直

　　怪我，不就是你们一直坐的地儿嘛。

　　Leonard, you want to slide over one?

　　slide：滑动，改变位置

　　Leonard 你能往那边移一个位置吗？

　　-Leonard：No, just sit here.

　　不行，你好好坐这就得了。

　　-Sheldon：Oh, yeah, this is it.

　　乖乖，就是这儿了。

　　Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?

　　-Leonard：What, Sheldon? What, Sheldon? What, Sheldon?

　　干嘛 Sheldon？

　　-Sheldon：Tell me what you see here.

　　告诉我你看到了什么。

　　-Leonard：The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?

　　blunt：钝的 instrument：器具 murder：谋杀 trial：审判，审理

　　这个钝器将会是我的谋杀审理时的主要证据?

　　-Sheldon：This is Stephanie's Facebook page.

　　Facebook：著名的社区交友网站

　　这是Stephanie的Facebook。

　　Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say?

　　本该填"恋爱中"的地方看她写了什么？

　　-Leonard：Stephanie Barnett is single.

　　single：单身

　　Stephanie Barnett 单身。

　　-Sheldon：Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening, she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike.

　　digital：数码的，电子的

　　没错，还有呢，今晚早些时候她送了一叫Mike的一只电子宠物羊。

　　Who's Mike? Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?

　　Mike是哪根葱，为什么他得到一只宠物羊而你没有？

　　-Leonard：It's just her Facebook page and we've only been going out a couple of weeks.

　　这只不过是她的Facebook 拜托，我们才拍拖了几个星期。

　　-Sheldon：You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.

　　你看不出来吗，我们要失去她了。

　　-Leonard：Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you.

　　simple：简单的

　　这样子，我把事情给你说简单点。

　　You are not in this relationship. I am.

　　你和她没有什么关系，我才有。

　　Ergo, you have no say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie.

　　Ergo：因此

　　所以说我和Stephanie的事都轮不到你来插嘴。

　　-Sheldon：I'm afraid I can't allow that.

　　很抱歉恐怕我不能放任不管。

　　Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, Section A: You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.

　　Pursuant：依照 Starfleet：星舰 General：总的 Order：命令 Section：章节 deem：认为 unfit：不合适 hereby：特此 relieve：解除 command：指挥权

　　根据星际舰队总则104条A款，你已经被视为渎职，我因此解除你的职务。

　　-Leonard：General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation.

　　apply：应用 situation：状况

　　星际舰队总则104条A款不适用于这个状况。

　　-Sheldon：Give me one good reason why not.

　　给我一个信服的理由，为什么不行？

　　-Leonard：Because this is not Star Trek!

　　Star Trek：星际迷航（美国电影）

　　因为这不是星际迷航。

　　-Sheldon：Penny? Penny? Penny?

　　Penny? Penny? Penny?

　　-Penny：What?

　　什么事？

　　-Sheldon：This is banana bread.

　　这是香蕉面包。

　　-Penny：This is a door knob.

　　door knob：门把手

　　这是门把手。

　　-Sheldon：It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.

　　unsolicited：主动提供的 gift：礼物 precursor：先兆 impromptu：事先无准备的 invitation：邀请 chat：聊天

　　我认为主动送来食物就意味着即刻邀请对方进门并聊天。

　　-Penny：Sheldon, would you like to come in?

　　Sheldon 你想进来坐坐吗？

　　-Sheldon：I suppose I could spare a few minutes.

　　spare：抽出

　　我想我应该可以小待一会。

　　Were you robbed?

　　rob：抢劫

　　你被抄家了吗？

　　-Penny：No.

　　没有。

　　-Sheldon：How can you be sure?

　　你怎么能这么肯定？

　　-Penny：Sheldon, what do you want?

　　Sheldon 你到底要干嘛？

　　-Sheldon：I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, but Leonard is failing in yet another relationship.

　　surprise：奇怪

　　我肯定你已经见怪不怪了，Leonard的恋情又一次玩完了。

　　-Penny：He's having problems with Stephanie?

　　他和Stephanie要吹了吗？

　　-Sheldon：She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the Internet.

　　virtual：虚拟的 livestock：牲畜 random：任意的

　　她送了一个电子宠物给网上的陌生男子。

　　If I had any hope of keeping them together, I need data.

　　data：数据

　　想要他们俩破镜重圆的话我需要统计数据。

　　Specifically, I need to know exactly what Leonard did that caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.

　　Specifically：具体地 buttock：臀部 emotional：情绪的【pop an emotional cap in his buttocks 这并不是个常见的俚语，连Penny听了都不知道什么意思。这应该是个俚语演绎的用法，Sheldon自己编的. pop a cap in one`s buttocks倒是一个黑帮俚语=shoot somebody （朝某人开枪），加上个emotional就表是生气的意思，就像中文“气得想抽他”】

　　具体来说呢，我想知道Leonard做的什么事情能惹得你气愤。

　　-Penny：What?

　　什么？

　　-Sheldon：Again, urban slang.

　　slang：俚语

　　这次还是俚语。

　　In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.

　　gain：获得 remarkable：非常 fluency：流畅

　　我觉得我已经说的很溜了。

　　So, what is the "down" and the "low"?

　　那些“次”的“坏”的方面是什么？

　　And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential,

　　entirely：完全的 confidential：秘密的

　　别担心，这完全保密，

　　so, you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.

　　shortcomings：短处

　　卧室里的任何"不愉快" 你都可以和我敞开心扉。

　　-Penny：We never got to the bedroom.

　　我们没有到那一步。

　　-Sheldon：Because?

　　原因是？

　　-Penny：Oh, okay, all right, you know what? I'll tell you what happened.

　　好的，这样子，你知道吗，我告诉你发生了什么。

　　We were young, we were very much in love, but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.

　　time-traveling：穿越时空的 mailbox：邮箱【Penny援引美版《触不到的恋人》中的情节】

　　我们两小无猜坠入爱河不能自拔，却只能守在湖边小屋用一个穿越时空的信箱互相通信。

　　-Sheldon：It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?

　　mock：愚弄

　　你逼着我看了那电影还不够，现在还要戏弄我是吧。

　　Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships.

　　先生们，我有一个拍拖方面的问题。

　　-Raj：You told me you were going to have the talk with him.

　　你和我说过，你会和他好好谈谈的。

　　-Howard：I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.

　　我一直在等别人跟我谈呢。

　　-Sheldon：More to the point, it's about finding a way to keep Leonard and Stephanie together.

　　总的来说，就是要想办法让Leonard和Stephanie在一起。

　　-Howard：Oh, I don't think you can.

　　我觉得你办不到。

　　-Sheldon：Well, why not?

　　为什么？

　　-Howard：Look at Leonard's record. 27 days with Joyce Kim.

　　看看Leonard的情史，和Joyce Kim共度了27天。

　　-Raj：During which she defected to North Korea.

　　defected to：投靠

　　当中她就叛逃回北韩了。

　　-Howard：Two booty calls with Leslie Winkle.

　　booty：战利品 booty call= call for sex

　　和Leslie Winkle发生了两次一夜情。

　　-Raj：For which she awarded him the nickname Speed of Light Leonard.

　　award：授予 nickname：绰号 Speed of Light：闪电侠

　　她还授予了他一个外号--闪电侠Leonard。

　　-Howard：And the three hour dinner with Penny.

　　和Penny共进了三小时的晚餐。

　　-Raj：Which would have been two and a half if they ordered the souffle when they sat down.

　　souffle：蛋奶酥

　　而如果他们一进去就点蛋奶酥的话那就只有两个半小时了。

　　-Howard：Based on the geometric progression, his relationship with Stephanie should have ended after 20 minutes.

　　geometric progression：等比级数

　　根据等比级数定律，他和Stephanie的关系本应在见面后的20分钟后结束。

　　-Sheldon：Yes, I'm aware of the math.

　　be aware of：知道 math：数学

　　这个我会算。

　　Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth.

　　equals：等于   nth：n次的

　　Y等于27天的12次方根。

　　The issue remains.

　　issue：问题 remain：仍然保留

　　问题仍然存在。

　　How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection?

　　circumvent：回避 inevitable：不可避免的 rejection：拒绝，抛弃

　　我们怎么避免他被甩这个怪圈呢？

　　-Raj：Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to Stephanie, your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.

　　guarantee：保证 appeal：吸引力 best bet：（口语）最好的办法 planet：星球

　　想要确保他一直和Stephanie在一起，最好的办法就是把地球上的其他男人宰了。

　　-Howard：I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.

　　我来告诉你什么是本不该做的。

　　Don't spritz him with that body spray from the commercial where the women undress when they smell it. That doesn't work at all.

　　spritz：喷 body spray：身体喷雾剂，香水 commercial：广告 undress：脱衣服

　　不要往他身上喷广告里那种香水，女人一闻到立马脱衣服，那个一点都不管用。

　　No matter how much you put on.

　　不管你往身上喷多少。

　　-Sheldon：So, that's all you've got? Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"?

　　Apocalyptic：世界末日的 genocide：种族灭绝 go easy：少用，小心地用 cologne：古龙水

　　这就是你们给出的建议，种族灭决和少用古龙水。

　　-Together：Yeah.

　　对头，没错。

　　-Sheldon：Penny, Penny,

　　Penny, Penny,

　　-Penny：What?

　　什么事？

　　-Sheldon：Penny? Zucchini bread.

　　Zucchini：（中国俗称）西葫芦

　　Penny? 青瓜面包。

　　-Penny：Oh, thank you.

　　谢谢。

　　-Sheldon：May I come in?

　　我能进来吗？

　　-Penny：No.

　　不行。

　　-Sheldon：I see. Apparently, my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. I apologize.

　　inquiry：询问 regarding：关于

　　我知道之前我询问你和Leonard的问题有点过头了，我郑重道歉。

　　-Penny：Well, thank you.

　　谢谢。

　　-Sheldon：So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?

　　equilibrium：平衡

　　那么你和我回到社交平衡点上了?

　　-Penny：Yes.

　　是的。

　　-Sheldon：Great. New topic.

　　很好，新话题。

　　Where are you in your menstrual cycle?

　　menstrual cycle：月经周期 menstrual：月经的

　　你的经期是什么时候?

　　-Penny：What?

　　什么?

　　-Sheldon：I've been doing some research online, and apparently female primates, you know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you.

　　research：研究 online：在线 female：雌性 primates：灵长类 ape：猿 chimpanzee：黑猩猩

　　我在网上做研究，很显然雌性灵长类，呃像猿类，黑猩猩，还有你。

　　They find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female.

　　mate：配偶 desirable：可取的，合意的 court：求爱，献殷勤

　　当发现她们的雄性配偶被其他雌性追求时，便会觉得其配偶更加可取。

　　Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.

　　effect：效果 intensify：使增强 rival：竞争对手 secrete：分泌 pheromone：信息素，费洛蒙 ovulation：排卵 associated with：与…有关

　　当竞争雌性分泌与排卵有关的信息素时这种效果会更加显著。

　　Which brings me back to my question. Where are you in your--

　　跟着也就回到我的问题，你的经期是....

　　Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.

　　看样子，她大姨妈还有14天才来。