What?

　　你刚说你要去散步的

　　You said you were going for a walk.

　　我又没说要去外面散步

　　I didn't say outside.

　　然后呢  你就打算来来回回地跑楼梯吗

　　So what,you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?

　　不会  当然不会

　　No,of course not.

　　那样的话就太可疑了

　　That would be odd and suspicious behavior.

　　到这儿来  拉塞尔  过来呀  宝贝儿

　　Here,Russell! Here,boy!

　　你往哪边走

　　Which way are you going?

　　你 往哪边走

　　Which way are you going?

　　我把摩托车停在街那边了

　　I parked my scooter down the block.

　　我走另一边  拜拜

　　I'm going the other way. Bye.

　　拜拜

　　Bye.

　　其实是停在这边

　　Actually,I'm this way.

　　这是热狗的味道吗

　　Do I smell hot dogs?

　　不是  我是说  我不知道你闻到了什么

　　No. I mean,I have no idea what you smell.

　　我绝对闻到了生热狗的味道

　　I definitely smell raw hot dog.

　　估计是你的脑子里有肿瘤吧

　　Perhaps you're getting a brain tumor.

　　好了  散步愉快

　　All right,have a nice walk.

　　我会的  祝你开车愉快

　　I shall. Have a nice scoot.

　　你最好站开点儿

　　You might want to stand back.

　　寡人的坐骑有13马力呢

　　I'm sitting on top of 13 horses here.

　　你好啊  狗狗

　　Oh. Hello,doggie.

　　乖狗狗

　　Nice doggie.

　　估计你是闻到热狗的香味了

　　I bet you think you smell hot dogs.

　　看  有猫咪

　　Look,a cat!

　　佩妮

　　Penny?

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　佩妮

　　Penny.

　　给

　　Here.

　　剩下的热狗被我拿去保命了

　　I had to trade the others for my life.

　　喂  莱纳德

　　Hey,Leonard?

　　怎么了

　　Yeah?

　　我有一年没做爱了

　　I haven't had sex in a year.

　　你想干嘛  拉杰

　　Where you going with this,Raj?

　　别自作多情了  老兄

　　Don't flatter yourself,dude.

　　我想出去找个女人

　　I want to go out and meet a woman.

　　那就去呗  -我要找个帮手

　　- So,go.  - Well,I need a wingman.

　　我不想让自己看着像个失败的剩男

　　I don't want to come off like a lonely loser.

　　你觉得我跟你去你就不剩了吗

　　And you think my presence will help with that?

　　对呀

　　Well,I do.

　　有你在旁边  我有更有把握了

　　Next to you,I'll look like a catch.

　　我今晚不会出去的  拉杰

　　I'm not going out tonight,Raj.

　　好吧

　　All right.

　　你介意我到你房间去

　　Would you mind if I went to your room

　　下载几部亚系A片看吗

　　and downloaded some Asian pornography?

　　非常介意

　　Very much.

　　我可以不看亚系的

　　Doesn't have to be Asian.

　　别担心  总有一天你会遇见一个好姑娘的

　　Don't worry. You'll meet a girl someday.

　　-不可能的  -绝对可能  而且还很漂亮

　　- No,I won't.  - Yes,you will,and she'll be beautiful.

　　善良  性感  幽默

　　And kind and sexy and funny

　　绝对是你梦中情人的样子

　　and everything you ever wanted in a woman.

　　你真这么觉得

　　You really think so?

　　没错  你会一发不可收拾地

　　I do,and you'll fall hopelessly in love

　　爱上她  向她敞开心扉

　　and give her your heart.

　　然后她会拿走你的心  残忍地撕成碎片

　　And she'll take it and grind it into pathetic,little pieces.

　　但我们到时候会先上床  对吧

　　But we'll have sex first,right?

　　真正的美意大餐

　　That's Eye-talian.

　　莱纳德不介意你过来吧

　　So,um,was Leonard okay with you coming over?

　　不介意

　　Oh,yes.

　　其实他说了  "我没事  我不在乎"

　　In fact,he said,"I'm fine. I don't care."

　　而且他的语气绝对不会

　　And he in no way said it in a manner

　　让人觉得他在掩饰心中的

　　which would lead one to believe that he was covering up

　　痛苦与背叛

　　feelings of anguish and betrayal.

　　-很好嘛  -我还要

　　- Well,good.  - I'm also

　　很高兴地告诉你他曾为你大声痛哭

　　pleased to report that he's all cried out over you.

　　他哭过

　　He's been crying?

　　我又漏说了一件

　　Oh,I believe that was something else

　　不该跟你提起的事

　　I wasn't supposed to mention.

　　哦  天哪  我好难过

　　Oh,God,I feel terrible.

　　你也胃疼吗

　　Do you have a stomachache,too?

　　没有啊  怎么了  你胃疼吗

　　No. Why,do you?

　　不疼

　　No.

　　那你为啥问我是不是也胃疼

　　Why did you ask if I had one,too?

　　就是吃饭的时候随便聊聊

　　Just making polite dinner conversation.

　　该你说了

　　Your turn.

　　好吧

　　All right.

　　那你最近有啥新鲜事儿吗

　　So,what's new in your life?

　　我的新鞋不适合跑步

　　Well,my new shoes are not made for running.

　　你去跑步了

　　Have you been running?

　　没有

　　No.

　　这只是我的怀疑

　　It's just a suspicion I have.

　　-我很高兴你这么喜欢我的手艺  -没错

　　- I'm so glad you like it.  -I do.

　　莱纳德从来没给我做过饭

　　Leonard never cooks for me.

　　估计是因为莱纳德不会做饭吧

　　Well,maybe that's 'cause Leonard can't cook.

　　你也不会做饭  但是你为我做了这些

　　You can't cook and you made me this.

　　随便啦

　　Whatever.

　　对了  还有芝士蛋糕在冰箱里

　　Ooh,I'm gonna get the cheesecake out of the fridge.

　　天  我要下犹太人的地狱了[胃酸倒流]

　　Oh,Lord,I'm in Jewish hell.

　　你看这个

　　Look at this.

　　你觉得她这动作是真的呢

　　Do you think she's really doing that

　　还是PS出来的

　　or is it PhotoShop?

　　我很确定玛莎?斯图尔特绝对不会光着身子

　　I'm pretty sure Martha Stewart never got naked

　　著名女企业家  曾因经济犯罪入狱

　　和一屋子的日本大胖子呆在一起

　　with a room full of big,fat Japanese guys.

　　你又不知道

　　You don't know that.

　　监狱能改变一个人的

　　Prison changes people.

　　你刚去哪儿了

　　Hey,where you been?

　　跟你说了嘛  散步啊

　　I told you,walking.

　　你散了一个半小时的步

　　For an hour and a half?

　　我迷路了

　　I got lost.

　　你怎么会迷路的  你的手机上有GPS啊

　　How could you get lost? Your phone has GPS.

　　卫星出故障了  有太阳风暴

　　Satellites are down. Solar flares.

　　这会儿没有太阳风暴

　　There are no solar flares right now.

　　不对  有的

　　Yes,there are.

　　老兄  我是搞天体物理的

　　Dude,I'm an astrophysicist.

　　要是有太阳风暴的话  我绝对会知道

　　If there were solar flares,I'd be all up in it.

　　抱歉  我说错了

　　I'm sorry. I misspoke.

　　我刚才其实想说我手机没电了

　　What I meant to say was my battery died.

　　他到底是怎么回事啊

　　What the hell was that about?

　　不知道

　　I don't know.

　　你觉得这真的是希拉里?克林顿在和欧普拉嘿咻吗

　　Do you think this is really Hillary Clinton doing it with Oprah?

　　哦  我们真得给你找个小妞了

　　Oh,we really need to get you a girl.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard.

　　滚进来吧

　　Oh,just come in!

　　谢谢你这么痛快地让我进来了

　　Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.