You may want to repaint.

　　他那么多事儿  你居然就搬进去了

　　And after all that,you just moved in?

　　才不是那么简单就搬进去

　　I didn't just move in.

　　首先我们得谈妥一些细节问题

　　First we had to iron out a few details.

　　室友同意在每周五晚上观看

　　"Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved

　　乔斯?威登最新导演的

　　for watching Joss Whedon's

　　惊世力作《萤火虫》

　　brilliant new series Firefly."

　　这条也要放到协议里啊

　　Does that really need to be in the agreement?

　　最好是现在定下来  那可要播好几年呢

　　{\c it's going to be on for years.

　　在这里草签

　　Initial here.

　　好了  电视以及电影协议完成了

　　All right,that's television and movies.

　　第九部分  杂项

　　Section nine: miscellany.

　　公寓旗帜是一头

　　The apartment's flag

　　在天蓝色背景下两腿站立的金色狮子

　　is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure.

　　咱还有旗子呢啊

　　We have a flag?

　　千万别弄反了

　　Never fly it upside down.

　　除非公寓面临危机

　　Unless the apartment's in distress.

　　下一条

　　And next.

　　如果我们之中任何一人发明了时空穿梭机

　　"If either of us ever invents time travel,

　　我们同意第一站就是回到今天这个会议

　　"We agree our first stop will be this meeting today

　　时间是5秒之后

　　in precisely five seconds."

　　好

　　Okay.

　　真可惜

　　That's disappointing.

　　你到底干嘛要同意那些协议啊

　　Why on earth did you agree to all that?

　　那是我见过最棒的公寓了

　　It was the best apartment I'd seen,

　　房租也很合理

　　the rent was very reasonable

　　而且在通过前三个关卡之后

　　and after you've passed the first three barriers

　　你就会不自觉地想一路前进了

　　you kind of want to take it all the way.

　　抱歉  莱纳德

　　Well,I'm sorry,Leonard,

　　我只能说 自作孽  不可活

　　it's very hard to feel sympathy for you.

　　好吧  那这样吧

　　Okay,how about this?

　　我给你讲讲我第一次带姑娘回家的事儿

　　Let me tell you about the first time I brought a girl over.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　嘘  假装我们不在

　　Shh. Just pretend we're not here.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　他肯定一会就走了

　　I'm sure he'll go away.

　　你不回答我  我就一直敲

　　I'm just going to keep knocking till you answer.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　你想干嘛啊

　　What do you want?!

　　我没说"请进"

　　I didn't say come in!

　　是你问我想干什么的

　　You asked what I wanted.

　　我想进来啊

　　I wanted to come in.

　　我来是因为你违反了我们的室友协议

　　I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement.

　　确切来说  是第八部分"宾客"里的

　　Specifically,section eight--

　　C小部分"女性"里的第四段  "交媾"

　　{\c females,paragraph four-- coitus.

　　在进行交媾之前  室友需要

　　"Roommates shall give each other

　　提前12小时通知对方

　　12 hours notice of impending coitus."

　　我俩认识还不到12小时呢

　　I didn't even know her 12 hours ago.

　　够了  老娘闪人了

　　That's it! I'm out of here!

　　乔伊斯  别走啊

　　But,Joyce,come on.

　　12小时

　　12 hours?

　　我的老天

　　Oh,my God.

　　现在觉得同情我了吗

　　Do I get some sympathy now?

　　有点儿

　　A little bit.

　　好  让我理下思路

　　Ok,let me get this straight.

　　你搬进来和他一起住

　　You move in with this guy,

　　他让你签了一份相当扯淡的室友协议

　　he made you sign a rediculous roommate agreement,

　　然后他在你和那个乔伊斯?金爱爱的时候

　　then he walks into your bedroom

　　走进了你的卧室

　　while you're doing this Joyce Kim

　　可你居然还没搬走

　　and you still stay.

　　其实乔伊斯?金这事也不能怪他

　　Actually,I couldn't get too mad at him about Joyce Kim.

　　为什么

　　Why not?

　　当时我正致力于某些政府研究

　　Well,I was doing some government research at the time,

　　军用火箭燃料

　　you know,military,rocket fuel.

　　算是国家机密吧

　　It's kind of secret.

　　这和乔伊斯?金有毛关系

　　What does that have to do with Joyce Kim?

　　后来发现她是个朝鲜间谍

　　As it turns out,she was a North Korean spy.

　　好在我还没透露什么重要机密

　　Luckily,Sheldon drove her out

　　谢尔顿就把她赶了出去

　　before I revealed anything important.

　　我不是我说我肯定会透露

　　Which I-I'm not saying I would have.

　　就因为这样吗

　　So,what,that's it?

　　一直以来你忍受谢尔顿

　　You've stayed with Sheldon all this time

　　就为了感谢他让你免受牢狱之灾吗

　　because he kept you from going to federal prison?

　　这是理由之一

　　That was part of it.

　　理由之二和那电梯有关

　　The other part is what happened with the elevator.

　　我正想问呢

　　Oh,yeah,I'm wondering about that.

　　你说你搬来时电梯还能用呢

　　You said it was working when you moved in.

　　之前是能用  但某天晚上  谢尔顿下班回来...

　　It was,but one night,Sheldon came home from work...

　　这里是怎么回事

　　What is going on here?

　　好啊  谢尔顿

　　Hey,Sheldon.

　　这是霍华德和拉杰

　　This is Howard and Raj.

　　他们也在大学里工作

　　They work at the university,too.

　　-好  -好

　　- Hey. - Hey.

　　我一会儿找你算账

　　I'll get to you later.

　　你们坐的什么呢

　　What are you sitting on?

　　他们不好说  我正坐在屁垫上呢

　　I can't speak for these guys,but I'm sitting on my tushie.

　　我开个玩笑

　　It's a joke.

　　后悔了吧

　　Not a good idea.

　　屁垫就是屁股吧

　　"Tushie" Is buttocks,right?

　　-米错  -搞笑

　　- Right. - Hilarious.

　　这沙发是怎么回事

　　Explain the couch.

　　一楼的住户今天搬家

　　Oh,well,there were some people on the first floor moving out,

　　他们100刀贱卖给了我

　　and they sold it to me for $100.

　　霍华德和拉杰帮我搬了进来

　　Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.

　　我们的家具怎么不好了

　　But what's wrong with the furniture we have?

　　就俩草坪椅而已

　　They're lawn chairs.

　　别人来就没的坐了

　　And there was no place for company.

　　你没意识到  我这是故意的嘛

　　Did it occur to you that was by design?

　　根据室友协议

　　According to the roommate agreement,

　　我有权使用

　　I'm entitled to allocate 50%

　　50%立方米的公共区域

　　of the cubic footage of the common areas.

　　但你没有发邮件事先告知我

　　But you didn't notify me by e-mail,

　　所以还是违规了

　　so this is still a breach.

　　我告知你了

　　I did notify you.

　　是吗

　　Oh,you did,did you?

　　真见鬼

　　Oh,drat!

　　被垃圾邮件过滤器害惨了

　　Hoisted by my own spam filter.

　　干垃圾邮件过滤器毛事了

　　What am I doing in your spam folder?

　　自你上次发我一张弹钢琴的猫咪图

　　I put you there after you forwarded me

　　标题还说什么"很搞笑"

　　a picture of a cat playing the piano,

　　我就把你给扔垃圾邮件里去了

　　entitled "This is funny."

　　那个我看过

　　Oh,yeah,I saw that.

　　太搞笑了

　　That was hilarious.

　　这和电梯有什么关系

　　Okay,what does all this have to do with the elevator?

　　别急嘛  就说到了

　　I'm getting to it.

　　等到微软出了自己的播放器

　　I assure you,you'll be sorry

　　到时你就等着后悔吧

　　you wasted your money on an iPod

　　把钱浪费在一文不值滴苹果机上

　　when Microsoft comes out with theirs.

　　你对所有东西都有意见吗

　　Okay,do you have an opinion about everything?

　　对

　　Yes.

　　你还假设你永远正确吗

　　And you just assume you're always right?

　　这可不是假设  而是事实

　　It's not an assumption.

　　和我换个座位

　　Change seats with me.

　　-干嘛  -我不喜欢这个位子

　　- Why? - I don't like this spot.

　　讲话还得不停转头

　　I have to keep turning my head.

　　好吧

　　Fine.

　　哇哦  巴比伦5号开始了

　　Ooh,it's time for Babylon 5!

　　这里可不看巴比伦5号

　　We don't watch Babylon 5 in this apartment.

　　为什么

　　Why not?

　　因为没人爱看

　　Because no one likes Babylon 5.

　　我就爱看

　　I like it.

　　-我也爱看  -我也是

　　- Me,too. - So do I.

　　得了  三比一

　　There you go-- three against one.

　　他们又没投票权

　　They don't get a vote.

　　所以应该是一比一

　　It's one against one.

　　而根据室友协议

　　And according to the roommate agreement,

　　如果平局就由我说了算

　　all ties will be settled by me.