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Female Anchor: We've all been lectured by our parents at one time or another,but Philip Van Mounching decided to take a unique approach to teaching his daughters about life. He initially shared his thoughts in a very long letter which turned into an informative book called "Boys will put you on a pedestal so they can look up your skirt".
Julie: Good morning,philip.
Philip Van Mounching: Good morning, Julie.
Julie: You should know, you're a boy, right, I guess?
Philip Van Mounching: I checked, I am.
Julie: Now this book actually started because one day you almost got hit by a bus,what happened?
Philip Van Mounching: Yeah, I forgot that the 1st rule we teach our kids, wait for the green, and decide to dash across fifth avenue when I almost got plastered by the bus. You know when I got to the, back to where I started actually, safe and sound. I had that little conversation you have with yourself, you know, what I would regret, if I, if I died foolishly. And the only thing I could think of is that I wouldn't be around for my girls to tell them things that I meant to as they grow up, so I started writing them down.
You have two girls. How old are they now?
Thirteen and ten.
Oh, they're lovely? Look that great photo.
Thank you.Certainly they are.
Now, Er, originally,you wrote this as we said as a long letter to your girls?
Right. And the book is actually geared towards what age of girls, and now parents are reading as well.
Right, anyone from 12 on and up. And the nice sight product is that parents are just saying, Wow, I am looking at this, I am finding out how I can talk to my girls about the stuff.
Based on the title you have a very strong opinion on how girls should view boys. And you have basically three rules, ah, that you want your daughters to follow when they pick somebody to date.
Ya, I found the simplest rules I could, you have to date boys you honestly like, I mean that's okey. These days people date because of boys are popular, or because the family has money or whatever. But when you do that, you cheapen yourself on the relationship.
Ok, Rule No.2, you say, Er, the boy's age should be within two years of your age.
Yeah! Isn't, isn't having a relationship especially that age about experiencing things together. And if somebody's that much older than you, they should have a lot more experience. And if they do, you gonna wonder why they are with you.
OK! And then, the third, you say make sure that your boyfriends treat you with respect.
Right, zero tolerance policy. The minute they talk to you or touch you in a way that isn't kind and invited. You walk, they won't get a second chance.
Now, of course, you have a chapter about sex?
Right.
And you've actually memorized that chapter?
I have. It goes something like this, Chapter Five: Sex, don't have any ever at least wait until I am dead is that so much to ask. My mother said that she didn't realize I was a Jewish grandmother. But...
Ha ha...
But I, then of course, you turn the page and you get chapter five, a sex come up really, and then I get to the serious stuff.
And it's an absence of that real chapter is on this topic?
Sex is such a wonderful and important thing that if you're throwing it away so that you can hang on to some boys or because you think it might feel good, you are really cheapening something that can be so important to you.
Has so many, er, young girls, you know, they watch movies and TV shows, and they fantasize about that moment when they meet the one, but you don't believe in fate.
Yeah, fate irks me beyond worth.
You say don't rely on fate to your girls. Why?
Absolutely.
You don't think it exists at all or...?
If you're playing softball, and you believe in fate, the best stays on your shoulder, because you know if you meant to hit it, it's just gonna happen. That is ridiculous. You got to go out and make the mistakes. You got to swing the bat, because then you've earned the things that you learn in life, because you've gone out and you've ,you know, you've made the mistakes. You 've earned all of the stuff that's coming to you, as opposed to sitting back, waiting for it to happen for you.
You also handle serious topics, like bullying. And, Er, you say if being bullied, conceal the source.
Right. You know, as I was watching your first hour this morning, and that poor girl who was doing crystal math. What did she say? She was bullied on the Internet. She felt fat. People around her were making her feel terrible. That is horrible. But you have to turn around and see why are the people saying those things. Are they really about you, or are they about the person saying them. Do they just need to spread their pain? It is not fun to hear bad things by yourself, but once you realize they are not really about you, it is a little easier.
And you say it is ok to make mistakes, make glorious mistakes. What's that mean?
Right, make good ones, make mistakes because you are striving, you are reaching beyond your abilities. Don't, don't make mistakes because you are lazy, 'cause you are careless. Make them because you are trying to better yourself, and then you are showing the world you are making it and you are not just coasting.
Good advice. And I know someone I wanna give this book to.
Terrific!
Philip Van Mounching, thanks for coming onto the show.
Thank you,Juliy.
And Boys will put you on the pedestal is published by Simon & Schuster,which is owned by the CBS's parent company. |