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Anchor: Well, for years, people have been trying to keep up with the Joneses, but instead of competing with your neighbors, how about actually trying to get along with them? Joining us with some simple tips on how to deal with those likeable and not so likeable neighbors is Betty Wong; she is the Executive Editor of Family Circle magazine. Good morning, Betty.
Betty: Good morning, Anna.
Anchor: Well, in an ideal world, I guess we would all get along with our neighbors, wouldn't we?
Betty: Right, right. We hope so.
Anchor: But why is it important to have a good relationship with them?
Betty: Well, you know, your home is your sanctuary. And how you get along with your neighbors really plays a large part in your health wellbeing and happiness, because you know, your neighbors really kind of make your home. And so it's important at least to establish a good, cordial, or at least polite relationship with your neighbors, and that...
Anchor: How do we establish that? When you move into a neighborhood, right, should you reach out to the neighbors or should they be reaching out to you?
Betty: I think it could work either way. I mean, certainly, if they don't reach out to you, don't assume that they are being rude or unfriendly. They just might be holding back because they think you are too busy--unpacking and settling in. So if they don't make that first step, you know, after a few days, go ahead and introduce yourself, because I think once you are on a first name basis with your neighbors, it makes that much easier to, you know, prevent problems later on, or maybe call on them for a favor down the road like if you are on a vacation and you need them to water your plants and pick up your mail. It's much easier when you know them personally.
Anchor: Yeah, neighbors can be really really helpful, but of course they can also be annoying. So we went out on the street, and we ask some people what sorts of problems they may be having with their neighbors. Here's one answer that we got.
Interviewee1: Our neighbor plays music, really really loudly. He's three houses down, and it's extremely loud from early in the morning to late at night. What do we do to ask him to not play music so loudly?
Anchor: Forever, this is a pretty common problem, you hear this a lot.
Betty: Yes, it is. Loud music is one of those top complaints, and I think you know for most reasons... people, they probably aren't even aware that they are causing problems for their neighbors. And I think if you bring it up to that your neighbors' attention they will be more than happy to fix it. But you can take that, you know it's- not- you, it's-me approach. You could say something like, you know, I kind of, I'm really a light-sniff sleeper or I suffer from migraines. Can you help me out by, you know, turning down the music during those evening hours or the early morning, or come up with a compromise that works for both of you, a resolution that works for both of you.
Anchor: Don't just call the police, right? which a lot of people do. So that's a common complaint: loud music, but also sometimes we can have smells and other things that assault our senses as in the case of another person we talked to on the street.
Interviewee2: My neighbor upstairs cooks a lot. She's pounding on the counters a lot, and a smelly foods smell comes right to the vent, so what should I do, how should I handle this?
Anchor: Oh, the trials and tribulations of apartment living.
Betty: Well, that's a tough one. That's a really sensitive situation. Because you want to live in the comfort of your own home, and not have to deal with unpleasant smells,(Right.) but then your neighbors are just as entitled to cook whatever she likes in the comfort of her own home. So I'd, you know, say , approach her if you work up the nerve, you could say, you know, I am not sure if you realized what's happening but you know I can smell something coming from your kitchen, could you, would you mind opening your windows or maybe using your exhaust fan? You try to approach them, you know, politely, reasonably, and if that doesn't work, you could also just talk to management because maybe there is something wrong with your building's ventilation system.(Exactly) If something is coming into your apartment, that might be a quick fix, without, you know, having that uncomfortable conversation.
Anchor: What if the things that you say in this month's Family Circle is that there is power in numbers, right? So when you are approaching your neighbor, what should you do?
Betty: Yeah. I mean sometimes it does help to gather up some troops, you know, get support from your fellow neighbors, but you have to be sensitive that you are not ganging up on your next door neighbor. so..
Anchor: Right, you don't want it to be like an intervention or something like that, (Yeah, exactly) what about a noisy neighbor,(Well.) I mean a nosy neighbor, (Oh, nosy)I mean someone is always like, you know, you feel they're always like cut it around, checking out your every move.
Betty: Right, I think a lot of time as we may mistake noisy behavior for being, you know, nosy or poky when they are just being kind of trying to be friendly, or maybe that person's lonely. It's... You kind of have to see what the motive is there, and oftentimes, if you, if you are little evasive, or, you just don't answer their question, they often take the hint and back off.
Anchor: And the neighbor that come to visit and won't go away?
Betty: Well, I think, you know that, there are might be somebody who is just really lonely and wants a friend. You know oftentimes I think the rule is five, ten minute-visit, is fine. Because you know that way you are up imposing on that person's schedule or that person's plan. But you know, you don't have to be best friends with your neighbor at all, you can just be civil and polite, and say hello in the morning as he come and go, and that makes everybody's relationship so much better.
Anchor: Well, that's important. Betty Wong, Thanks so much for the tips we appreciate from Family Circle magazine and for more on this topic and others, head to the Early Show website at CBSnews.com.
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