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My name's Doctor Belisa Vranich. I'm the Sex & Health editor of Men's Fitness. I'm a clinical psychologist. Women have a lot of questions about relationships. Sometimes they are the same ones. I'm gonna answer your questions about relationships.
You can tell if a guy's interested because of his eye-contact. I know that's really simple, it sounds silly, but if he's making eye contact, he continues to make eye contact. He seems interested, he's giving you the time of date. His body language says "Tell me more, you're so interesting. You are so pretty. He is interested in you.
If you are wanting to say "I love you", and you are not sure it's the right time, it's probably not the right time. If you feel comfortable, and you wanna say "I love you", go right ahead. Try to read signals from him. I mean, are you feeling that he's smitten with you as well? then it's probably a good time.
One thing you can do to keep the spark in relationship is not to compare it to the relationship you had when you first started. Don't try to the get the relationship you had in the beginning. That's unrealistic. One thing that people can do to add the spark to relationship to keep the excitement in a relationship is not to take the other person for granted. Number two is, um, look at things that you have in common, and try to up them a little bit.
One of the most common mistakes in moving in together is doing it because of an emergency, doing it because of an external event. Anything that has to do with an emergency is outside of your relationship. It's probably not a good idea. Because it's not about being together, it's about circumstances. I think living together before you get engaged or married is a good idea. If you are feeling anxious about moving in, and you just say to your boyfriend, "you know what, this is a huge step, I'm a little nervous." Just to have him say, "Yeah, you know what, I was thinking about the other night, it's a really big step." It's incredible how those two sentences and just kinda of commiserating about what a big step it is, can make, can deflate all the anxiety.
Most women, they come in and wanna talk about their spouse cheating, they know that if they bring it up to their significancant other, their significant other is gonna say no. The first thing I do in clinical practices is "look. why, why do you think this is happening. What are the signs that you see? What might this mean? If you are right, what's going to happen? What's the worst case scenario? Is it a one-time indiscretion or you think it's an affair? So really asking all those questions and getting a lot of details is important. Too many women try to give their cheating spouses a second chance. If you are the only person wanting to work on things, then it's not gonna happen. And too often you have a spouse that just feels bad because he has got caught.
Break-ups are one of the hardest things people have to go through. One of the first things to do with heartbreak is move all the things that reminds you about the relationship away. Now remember this is a definitely breakup where you are not getting back together again. Make it hard for yourself to think about them. One of the things I recommend people do is to completely change their environment, really start pampering yourself, it's a time that's excruciating. You've just been left, your heart is broken. So do things to pamper yourself. When you do break up with someone, because your serotonin tends to go down and you can get depressed. Exercising is really hard, you do wanna sit on the couch with the pie of Haagen-Dazs. But if you can gain yourself to exercise, it's the number one thing that'll make you feel better. Be very careful about drinking and dialing or drinking and emailing. Tell, women who are on a break-up or men who're on a break-up ,to be very careful about the music that they listen to. Strangely enough, you can listen to a song or hear a song on the radio, it can send you over the edge. (What) you have to think about is friends, which friends you're gonna keep, which friends are you keeping because their connection between you and he, him. So look over your friends and they'll understand if you need to take a break from them for a little while.
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