您好

　　Max phone! No!

　　麦克斯 有电话 别接啊

　　What are you doing?

　　你搞毛啊

　　Never answer the wall phone!

　　永远别接墙上的电话

　　What? Why?

　　什么 为什么

　　Only two people call the wall...

　　只有两种人会打这只电话

　　collection agencies and the landlord

　　讨债公司以及

　　looking for the original tenant whose name is on the lease!

　　打来找最初承租人的房东

　　打工姐妹花第一季

　　Hang up. Quick! Too late.

　　那快挂掉吧 来不及了

　　I've got to man up and face it.

　　我还是鼓起勇气来面对吧

　　Hello?

　　你好

　　This is what collection agency?

　　你是哪间讨债公司来着

　　No my granddaughter Max is not here.

　　不 我孙女麦克斯不在

　　She died.

　　她死了

　　On her deathbed she said it was the stress

　　临终前 她还说她是被债主

　　of being constantly harassed by creditors.

　　长期的骚扰给逼死的

　　That's juvenile.

　　你太逊了

　　Give me the phone.

　　电话给我

　　Hi. So sorry about that.

　　你好 刚才真是不好意思

　　What's the issue exactly?

　　到底是什么事来着

　　Well I'm sure she has every intention...

　　我敢保证她有打算...

　　Well you're a doody head.

　　你脑子里装屎了吧

　　Never answer the wall.

　　永远不要接这电话

　　But what are you gonna do about it?

　　可欠债问题你打算怎么解决

　　You can't just keep lying to collection agencies.

　　总不能一直骗讨债公司吧

　　You have to pay your bills.

　　欠债还钱天经地义

　　I have a system.

　　我有个还债机制

　　I pay everyone five dollars a week...

　　每个债主每周还五块钱

　　just enough to keep them from freaking out.

　　省得他们抓狂找我麻烦

　　It's the methadone clinic banking system.

　　这叫美沙酮疗法还债版

　　That is a complete waste of money.

　　这完全是在浪费钱

　　Five dollars won't even cover the interest you're accruing.

　　五块钱都不够付你的循环利息

　　What's the interest rate on your credit card?

　　你信用卡的利率是多少

　　Don't know,but my interest rate in the conversation is zero

　　不知道??但我对这话题的兴趣度是零

　　Max how could you not know that?

　　麦克斯 你怎么能不知道呢

　　That's one of the first things my father taught me about finance.

　　我爸最早教我有关金融的事就是利率

　　Where... at Embezzle U.?

　　在哪儿教的 诈欺大学吗

　　Max I interned at Merrill Lynch.

　　麦克斯 我在美林证券公司实习过

　　Let me help you with this. It's the least I can do.

　　让我帮你吧 这是我唯一能帮你的地方

　　I had nowhere to go. You took me in.

　　我无家可归时 是你收留了我

　　Let me repay my debt to you by helping with your debt

　　让我帮你想法子还债来报答你吧

　　to everyone in the world apparently.

　　你不是欠着一大屁股债嘛

　　If you keep talking

　　如果你再喋喋不休

　　I'm going to Merrill lynch myself.

　　我就去自杀图个清静

　　I'm one of those people

　　我是那种

　　who gets off on untangling big complicated messes.

　　享受解决纠结问题的人

　　And since you won't let me do your hair

　　你不让我动你纠结的头发

　　let me do your bills.

　　那让我解决你的债务吧

　　You want to do my bills?

　　你要帮我处理债务吗

　　Here's my portfolio.

　　这是我的账单锦集

　　And uh if you find chocolate sprinkles in there

　　如果看到上面有屎色巧克力屑

　　they're not chocolate...

　　它们可不是巧克力

　　Or sprinkles.

　　也不是普通的屑