I am married to a wonderful man whose family despises me because of a fight I had with his twin sister. His twin, "Kari," is a hateful person who attacked me and my daughter (a defenseless 6-year-old). I am now an outcast because I refuse to forgive her and resume contact as if the incident never happened.

My in-laws have made numerous attempts to reunite my children with their aunt and are furious with me for not allowing them to attend a birthday party at which Kari will be present. I am not willing to subject my young children to her vicious temper tantrums anymore. Is there any way to mend this without conceding defeat and pretending it never happened? － OutcastDear Outcast:

This isn't a contest about who wins or loses, and rest assured, it won't be forgotten. We worry about anyone who attacks a young child, whether physically or verbally.

Since you are looking for a way to mend fences with your husband's parents, tell them you are willing to forgive Kari, but you have an obligation to keep your children safe. Your sister-in-law sounds unstable and could benefit from talking to her doctor. This does not mean you have to allow your children to be around their aunt, but if you express this with genuine sadness instead of anger, your in-laws are more likely to understand.

to despise  (v.)   轻蔑；瞧不起defenseless  (adj.)   无防备的；不能自卫的outcast  (n.)   被驱逐的人；流浪者to reunite  (v.)   重聚；团员furious  (adj.)   狂怒的；狂暴的vicious  (adj.)   恶意的；恶毒的temper tantrum   暴怒；大发雷霆to concede  (v.)   让步；认输to rest assured   保证；放心to mend fences   修补；弥补