Don: Actually, Yael, just the opposite. At least that's what I'm told. Evidently I could be  pretty difficult as a toddler.

Y: Really? But you're such a mild-mannered fellow.

D: Maybe, but around the age of two or so I could be pretty defiant, throwing tantrums  when I didn't get my way.

Y: Well, I guess I'm not that surprised . . . after all, it's perfectly normal, healthy even,  for little kids to be defiant.

D: Normal, sure, but healthy?

Y: Yes. Child development experts have found that being defiant and doing things like  refusing to listen and throwing fits is part of how kids learn to assert themselves and  control their environment. It's a normal part of growing up.

D: What about kids who don't throw tantrums and are nice and sweet? Are you  suggesting that they're somehow not developing properly?

Y: That sounds kinda far fetched . . . I mean, every kid is defiant at least sometimes.  But, sure, some kids are much less defiant than others. And the research shows that  those kids develop fine, too.

D: But I assume that either extreme--either a kid who's completely passive, or a kid  who's overly defiant--can signal a problem . . .

Y: That's true. But my point is, I guess, that even though it can be exasperating and even  maddening when kids are defiant, they're not behaving that way just to be bad. It's  like they need to act that way to figure out how to get along in the world. I mean, it's  worked for you.

D: Thanks.