I had this vague feeling something was wrong with my marriage, so I looked at my husband's cell phone call log. Imagine my surprise to discover a text message from a woman whose number showed up in three months' worth of phone bills.

I showed my husband what I found. He agreed to let "Lena" know the relationship was over and said he would have no more contact with her. Ten days later, I found a receipt for a US$500 diamond bracelet. My husband said he felt sorry for Lena because she didn't have any jewelry. He told me he wouldn't see her again.

Two weeks after that, I discovered him holding hands with Lena at a local restaurant. I confronted them, and they assured me it was just friendship.

I am so devastated. I love my husband and want so much to have faith in him. Do we have a shot at building back the trust in this 13-year marriage? － Kentucky GirlDear Kentucky Girl:

You can rebuild trust, but only if your husband behaves in a manner that is completely aboveboard. He must stop seeing Lena, and that means no friendly lunches, no gifts of any kind, no phone calls, nothing. Tell him that as a condition of staying in the marriage, he must go with you for counseling.