I weigh close to 200 pounds, and am solidly built. My family is full of stocky individuals, so I don't know why I'm afraid to tell my parents about a guy I am dating while away at university.

"Roger" is extremely smart, funny, physically strong, personable, works in social work and is getting a Ph.D. in education.

The problem is, he's upward of 300 pounds, and at 6 feet 4 inches, is a massive human being. He's the same size as my boss, a man my family refers to as "Jabba the Hutt."

I don't want my family to judge my significant other based on something as superficial as weight, but I know my grandmother will say something nasty about his body. I want my mother to know what's going on in my dating life. Should I state upfront that he's a large man or just not bring it up unless she asks?－Not Afraid of a Little Fat

Dear Not Afraid:

If you choose someone your parents are prejudiced against, you have to be willing to stand up to their disapproval until they get to know him. For now, tell your parents you are dating a great guy. Later, you can e-mail them a photo of the two of you and see what happens.