于是我去找到那个人

　　I said yeah, I want to be a comedian

　　我跟他说 我想当一名喜剧演员

　　I said, I've been trying to do it for about a year我说我尝试一年了

　　He said, a year, you're supposed to be if you join the union in three months他说 一年 入协会三个月就行了

　　I could find you right now, you could be a violation我可以马上破格加你

　　I said, well, how much does it take to join我问 加入要多少钱

　　He said, $300 I said, I don't have $300 and then他说 300美元 我说 我没有那么多钱 然后

　　he said those magic words, how much you got他说了那些骗子常说的话 那你有多少

　　You know, I knew I was making a mistake you know you just wanted to believe我当时就知道 这很有可能是骗局 我只是想给自己一些憧憬I just knew I was making a mistake, I just wanted to believe我知道自己错了 但还是希望这是真的

　　So I gave him all the money that I have

　　于是我把所有的钱都给了他

　　I said, I have $75.

　　我说 我有75美元

　　He said, oh, give me that.

　　他说 好 给我吧

　　Then he gives me his business card, there writes back on the business card, union man然后他就给我名片 背面写有协会成员

　　He says, you show this card to any club

　　他说 你可以把它出示给任何俱乐部

　　I felt like cocoa and fame, remember that movie我感觉就像名扬四海中的科科 记得那部电影吗So I got this card that says union man

　　我拿着这张写有协会成员的卡片

　　and I go back to the nightclub and I handed it to the guy回到夜总会 给那里的人看

　　and the guy breaks out laughing and he says we don't hire comedians, get lost夜总会的人忍不住大笑出来 他说 我们不招喜剧演员 走开Okay, now I'm stupid and broke

　　这时 我不仅显得愚蠢 而且身无分文

　　I used to drive to New York every single night我曾每晚都开车去纽约

　　to try and get out the improv in New York City尝试在纽约市找到即兴演出机会

　　At the time, that was the only place that featured unknown comedians当时 纽约是唯一让不知名的喜剧演员演出的地方That drive to New York every night or everyday after class rather每天下课 我都会驱车去纽约

　　and I sleep in the alley a couple blocks from the improv我睡在离即兴演出地点一两个街区远的小巷子里It was the only dead end alley around

　　这是附近唯一的死胡同

　　So it was pretty quiet until midnight

　　一直都很安静 直到午夜

　　when the prostitutes who bring their customers there妓女们带着她们的客人回来

　　and I'm sleeping, I'm like 50 feet away, I'm going我就睡在五十英尺外的地方 我心想

　　really is this show business?

　　这就是脱口秀表演业吗

　　This is what a college degree gets me?

　　这就是大学文凭给我的吗

　　but my saving grace was Emerson College because no matter how awful gives were不过爱默生学院挽救了我 无论我的境况有多糟