Dear Annie:

"Becky" and I have been friends since high school. We both have young children now, and they are usually the topic of our conversations. The problem is, Becky constantly points out things about my children in a negative way. My 9-year-old daughter loves history, science and biology, and noticing her extensive non-fiction library, Becky said, "She doesn't have much of an imagination." When our children were playing together, my younger daughter tripped and fell, and Becky casually remarked, "She's awfully clumsy, isn't she?"

I defend my children when she says these thoughtless things, but it doesn't matter. I'm not sure if she's being competitive or just inconsiderate. I don't want to lose this friendship, so what do I do? — Confused in Omaha

Dear Omaha:

We think she's being competitive. The fact that these comments are also inconsiderate is incidental. Becky points out your children's flaws in order to make her kids seem superior. It's a sign of insecurity, and it isn't going to stop until she recognizes what she is doing. The next time it happens, tell her you are sorry she feels the need to belittle your children and you'd like her to stop.