. . . basically we didn‘t leave the hotel room for, like, three days.‘

Sorry, I stopped listening a while ago.‘

I was just saying . . .‘

What do you think she sees in you?‘

Dexter shrugged, as if he didn‘t understand the question. She says I‘m complicated.‘

Complicated. You‘re like a two-piece jigsaw—‘ She sat and brushed the grass from her shin. —in thick ply,‘ then tugged the leg of her jeans a little higher. Look at these legs.‘ She held a tiny twist of hair between her finger and thumb. I‘ve got the legs of some fifty-eight year-old fell-walker. I look like the President of the Ramblers Association.‘

So wax ‘em then. Hairy Mary.‘

Dexter!‘

And  anyway,  you‘ve  got  great  legs.‘  He  leant  across  and  pinched  her  calves.  You‘re gorgeous.‘ 

She knocked his elbow away so that he fell back onto the grass. Can‘t believe you called me Hairy Mary.‘ Beyond him the couple were still kissing. Look at these two here  –  don‘t stare.‘ Dexter peered over his shoulder. I can actually hear them. Over this distance, I can hear the suction. Like someone unblocking a sink. I said don‘t stare!

Why not? It‘s a public place.‘

Why would you go to a public place to behave like that? It‘s like a nature documentary.‘

Maybe they‘re in love.‘

And is that what love looks like – all wet mouths and your skirt rucked up?‘

Sometimes it is.‘

Looks like she‘s trying to fit his entire head into her mouth. She‘ll dislocate her jaw if she‘s not careful.‘

She‘s alright though.‘

Dexter!‘

Well she is, I‘m just saying.‘

You know some people might think it‘s a bit weird, this obsession you‘ve got with being in a constant state of intercourse, some people might think it‘s a bit desperate and sad . . .‘

Funny, I don‘t feel sad. Or desperate.‘

Emma, who did feel these things, said nothing. Dexter nudged her with his elbow. You know what we should do? Me and you?‘

What?‘

He grinned. Take E together.‘

E? What‘s  E?‘  she  deadpanned.  Oh,  yes,  I  believe  I  read  an  article  about  that.  Don‘t think  I‘m  cut  out  for  mind-bending  chemicals.  I  left  the  lid  off  the  Tipp-Ex  once  and  I thought my shoes were trying to eat me.‘  He laughed gratifyingly and she hid her own smile in her plastic cup. Anyway I prefer the pure, natural high of booze.‘