The First Post Written on June 19th, 2009

 

第一篇日记 写于2009年6月19日

I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes, maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow! There are a few great movie scenes that I also have to see. I should drop by the library, too. It’s worth it to read the poems of Forough and Shamlu again. All family pictures have to be reviewed, too. I have to call my friends as well to say goodbye. All I have are two bookshelves, which I told my family, who should receive them. I’m two units away from getting my bachelors degree but who cares about that. My mind is very chaotic. I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so they know we were not just emotional and under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children...

我将参加明天的示威游行。或许那些游行会演变成暴力冲突,或许我会成为被害者之一。我正听着所有自己最爱的音乐,甚至想随着其中几首歌的旋律起舞……我总希望自己的眉毛可以细点儿。对,在游行前,或许我该去趟美发店!我还得重温好几个精彩电影场景。我还应该去趟图书馆,Forough和Shamlu的诗歌值得再拜读一下。家人的所有照片我要再看一遍。我要给朋友们打电话,向他们告别。除了两个书架以外,我别无他物,我已经跟家人说好让谁来接收。还差两个单元的课程,我就能获得学士学位了,可是谁还在乎呢。我头脑一片混乱。我在这里东一句西一句地写着,为的是让下一代人知道,我们并不只是感情用事,也非出于同侪压力而行事;为的是让他们知道,我们尽了一切所能给他们创造一个更美好的未来;为的是让他们知道,我们的祖先曾降服于阿拉伯人和蒙古人,却从未降服于专制统治。这篇日记是献给未来的孩子们的……

 

 

The Second Post Written on June 20th, 2009

 

第二篇日记 写于2009年6月20日

Yesterday I wrote a note, with the subject line “tomorrow is a great day perhaps tomorrow I’ll be killed.” I’m here to let you know I’m alive but my sister was killed... I’m here to tell you my sister died while in her father’s arms. I’m here to tell you my sister had big dreams... I’m here to tell you my sister who died was a decent person... and, like me, yearned for a day when her hair would be swept by the wind... and, like me, read “Forough”... and longed to live free and equal... and she longed to hold her head up and announce, “I’m Iranian”... and she longed to one day fall in love with a man with shaggy hair... and she longed for a daughter to braid her hair and sing lullabies by her crib... my sister died from not having a life... my sister died as injustice has no end... my sister died since she loved life too much... and my sister died since she lovingly cared for people... my loving sister, I wish you had closed your eyes when your time had come... the very end of your last glance burns my soul... sister, have a short sleep, your last dream be sweet.

昨天,我写了一篇主题为“明天将是伟大的一天,而明天我或许会被杀害”的日记。而我现在想告诉大家,我还活着,但我的姐姐被杀害了…… 我想告诉大家,我的姐姐死在她父亲的怀里。 我想告诉大家,我的姐姐有着远大的梦想…… 我想告诉大家,我死去的姐姐是个好人……并且,她和我一样,渴望有一天能自由地任风吹拂她的发丝;她和我一样,读Forough的诗歌,渴望过上自由平等的生活……她渴望有一天能昂起头,宣告道:“我是一个伊朗人”……她渴望有一天能和一个头发浓密的男子坠入爱河……她渴望生一个女儿,为她梳辫子,在她的摇篮边哼着歌儿哄她入睡……我姐姐为控诉无法过上正常的生活而牺牲,为永无止境的不公而赴 义……我的姐姐死了,因为她如此热爱生活……我的姐姐死了,因为她深爱着伊朗人民……我至亲至爱的姐姐,我希望在死神来临的那一刻,你已闭上了双眼……你对这人世的最后一瞥,炙烤着我的灵魂……姐姐,愿你打个小盹,愿你做的最后一个梦是甜美的……