They’re gone now.

 

他们已经走了。

I stood in the driveway and watched my grown children drive off into the distance. I looked down the road until I could no longer see their vehicles.

我站在车道上,看着我那些已长大的孩子驶远。我凝视着那路的尽头,直到再看不见他们的车。

 

 

“They live way too far away from me,” I said to myself. “When did they grow up and become parents of small children? Shouldn’t that be me?”

 

“他们住得离我太远了,”我自言自语道,“他们什么时候长大且为人父母的?我不是才长大,才为人父母吗?”

I slipped back inside the house and just walked through the rooms for no reason in particular. I was just missing them already and looking for signs of their having been here. There were pillows on the floor where they had been tossed from the couch and a few stuffed animals lying around where the children had been playing.

我回到屋里,只是漫无目的地行走于各个房间里。他们才刚走,我就已经开始想他们了,只好在屋里寻找着他们曾逗留的痕迹。地板上的枕头是孩子们从沙发上扔下来的,一些布绒玩具动物正躺在孩子们之前玩耍的地方。

I smiled at the little fingerprints on my mirror. I didn’t wipe them off. I thought back to the time when I tried so hard to keep the fingerprints off the mirrors and doors when my children were small. Now, I wanted the tiny fingerprints to stay so that I could see them there just a little longer.

我对着镜子上的小指印微笑,没去擦。回想起当我的孩子还小时,我竭力不让镜子和房门沾上指印。现在,我希望这些小指印都留在上面,好让我看久一点。

As I walked around the house, I picked up a few items on the floor and straightened a chair. I decided to sort through the toy box and I found a flying dinosaur, a skeleton, and a Frankenstein that had mysteriously taken up residence in my box of toys.

当我在屋里四处游走时,我捡起地上的一些物品,并把一张椅子摆正。我决定整理一下玩具箱里的玩具。而我发现了一只会飞的恐龙、一架动物骷髅,连弗兰肯斯坦这个人造怪物也不知怎的就神秘地跑到那玩具箱里了。

I walked into the kitchen and there on the back of the sink was a bottle brush that had been left behind. “Ah, even Tessa left something behind,” I announced. Well, I suppose she had help since she was just four months old.

我走进厨房,水池后面有一个被落下的洗瓶刷。“哈,连特莎也落下了一个东西,”我说道。噢,肯定是有人帮她刷瓶子给落下的,毕竟她只有四个月大。

“I wonder what else has been left behind,” I said out loud to no one in particular. My husband heard me and joined the search for things left behind.

“我想知道还有什么东西落下了,”我大声地自言自语道。我丈夫听见了我的话,也和我一块搜寻那些落下的东西。

It seems like every time our family gets together something is left behind. When I call my children to tell them what they have left behind I am usually told, “Oh, just bring it when you come,” “Keep it for me until I come back the next time,” or “Hey, I really need that, would you mind mailing it to me?”

似乎每次我们家庭聚会,他们总会落下一些东西。每次我打电话告诉我的孩子他们都落下些什么的时候,他们通常会跟我说,“噢,下次你来时给我们带上吧。”或者“帮我留着,下次我回去再取。”又或者“嗨,我急着用,能帮我邮寄过来吗?”

 

“Oh look! Here’s Tegan’s tooth,” I said to my husband as I picked up a ziplock bag with her name engraved on it. Tegan had a loose tooth and had managed to wiggle it out earlier in the day. “Now, she can’t put it under her pillow. I wonder if it will work if I put it under my pillow. The Tooth Fairy is going to be so confused!” I laughed.

 

“噢,看!这是泰根的牙,”我边捡起一个写着她名字的自封袋,边对丈夫说道。泰根先前有颗牙松了,今早她成功把它拽了下来。“现在,她没法把牙放在她的枕头下了。我想知道,如果我把它放在我的枕头下,那传说是否奏效。牙仙子会很困惑的!”我笑了。

I walked on around the house finding more things that had been left behind: a toothbrush, a ponytail band, an angel figurine, a pie pan, a frozen teething ring in the freezer, and last but not least the insides of a turkey fryer.

我在屋里四处游走时发现了更多被落下的东西:一把牙刷、一根发带、一个天使小雕像、一个烙馅饼用的平底锅、一个放在冰柜里冷藏给婴儿长牙时咬的橡皮环,最后还有一个同样重要的炸火鸡用的油炸锅内胆。

I was really kind of enjoying myself. It gave me something to do, after they left, to take my mind off of missing them.

我还真的挺乐在其中的。这使我在他们走后有事可做,从而暂时摆脱对他们的思念。

Then my eyes teared up as I noticed the baby outfit beside the sink where it had been left to dry after spots had been scrubbed out of it. The little outfit, now stain free, reminded me of the trip to the emergency room with Rowan due to a gash on her head that was caused from a flower pot pulled over by her curious little fingers.

接着,留意到水槽旁晾着的那件污点已被洗净的婴儿服时,我满眼是泪。那件干净的小衣服让我想起了带罗温去急诊室那件事。那次,她用好奇的小手指拉倒了一个花瓶,碎片在她头上划开了一道很深的口子。

“Hmmm, things left behind…” I pondered to myself. It seems there is one thing that is left behind on every occasion. Memories are always left behind, I reasoned, and what a precious thing good memories are to us. I thought how each item left behind reminded me of the person it belonged to and the story surrounding it. The insides of the turkey fryer that was left behind reminded me of the delicious Thanksgiving meal that we all enjoyed. The empty pie pan reminded me of Katie’s delicious pies. The angel figurine reminded me of the white elephant gift exchange game that we play every year. Even the bad memory of Rowan’s injury reminded me of how frightened I was at the sound of her cry. It is a bad memory that turned into a good one as it reminded us of how precious little Rowan is to us.

“嗯,落下的东西……”我陷入沉思中。有一样东西似乎每次都会被落下,那就是记忆,我寻思道,美好的记忆对我们来说是如此珍贵。我想着,每一件落下的东西如何勾起了我对物主以及相关故事的追忆。那个火鸡油炸锅内胆使我想起了我们都很享受的那顿美味的感恩节大餐;空空的烙馅饼用的平底锅使我想起了卡蒂的美味馅饼;天使小雕像使我想起了我们每年都会玩的“白象礼物交换游戏”;甚至关于罗温受伤的那段糟糕的记忆也使我想起了听到她的哭喊声时,我有多惊恐。这个糟糕的记忆之所以变得美好是因为它提醒了我,小罗温对我们来说是如此珍贵。

Memories happen even if we aren’t aware of it. The stressful and difficult moments often become memories that we look back on later with laughter and joy. They are the stories of the future when one day someone will say, “Remember when ... ?”, and everyone laughs.

即使在我们毫不知情的情况下,记忆也在生成着。当我们回首时,我们会对那些充满压力和困难的过往时刻报以微笑,心生喜悦。未来的某天里,有人会问:“还记得……那个时候吗?”这时,一个个故事又会被引出,众人亦随之呵呵大笑。

Then, of course, there are some memories that need to be left behind. The memories of past hurts, unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger should be left behind forever. These are the things that we should never keep until the next time, mail back, or bring with us to our next visit.

接下来,当然,也有一些记忆需要我们放下的,一些关于过去曾遭受的伤害、心怀的怨恨、冤屈、愤怒的记忆应该永远放下。我们永不该把这些记忆留存至下次见面的时候,不该用以回敬他人,也不要带到他人面前。

Yes, I stood in the driveway and watched my grown children drive off into the distance and I remembered my own parents once doing the same thing. I never knew then that I would one day be the one waving from the driveway and feeling my heart drive off down the road. That’s because there is one more thing besides memories left behind ... and that is love.

是的,我站在车道上,看着我那些已长大的孩子驶远。我记起自己的父母也曾做着同样的事。我从没想过自己有一天也会在车道上向远方挥手,感受着自己的心沿着那路驶远。那是因为,除了留下的记忆以外,还有一样东西也留下了……而那就是爱。

As Elizabeth Stone said, “To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

正如伊丽莎白•斯通所说:“有了孩子就永远注定你的心将游离体外。”