Ben: Rock candy experiment gone away. It makes a mess, but the kids love it. These are never filled. This your sherbert?

Mona: No.

Ben: It's a funny name, right?? Sherbert, like if you say it a bunch of times. It's sherbert, sherbert, sherbert? I guess it's not really that funny but it's a weird name, Sherbert. So you are the new math teacher? You're Miss Grey?

Mona: Uh-huh.

Ben: I'm Ben. Ben Smith, I teach science.

What were you thinking with that houseplant assignment?

Ben: Oh, the houseplant assignment. Half the class was supposed to talk kindly to their houseplants, and the other half wasn't. And then we were gonna compare their respective grown rates. Why, what's up??

Rita Williams' mother found her yelling at her bathroom fern, saying things like, "You're a disgrace to the family name." And, "What're you looking at, you skanky piece of bitch!"

Ben: What was the plant's reaction?

Now, don't you get cheeky. Shall we discuss this in my office, Mr.Smith?

Ben: And we have to discuss this in your office. See you around, Miss Grey.

Mona: Lisa Venus.

Lisa: Yes?

Mona: What's that on your head?

Lisa: It's an I.V. Get it? Those are my initials.

Ann: No, they're not. Those aren't your initials.

Lisa: They almost are.

Ann: You're retarded.

Mona: Ann!

Lisa: I'm ready for "numbers and materials".

Mona: Nums and Materials??

BG: Remember? Every Friday we bring in nums from the world of nature. Or things that just look like nums. Duh, Miss Grey! You never remember anything! How the hell did you ever get to be our teacher?

Mona: Danny, in the corner! Lisa, nums and materials, plz.

Lisa: This is my zero, it's from nature.

Ann: That's not nature, that's plastic!

Lias: Plastic comes from nature. Zero times anything is zero, 127 minus zero equals 127. 10 billion minus zero equals 10 billion.

Mona: Good. Thank you.

Mona: Lisa?

Lisa: Miss Grey!

Mona: Are you waiting for someone?

Lisa: My aunt. She's always late. Wanna touch my I.V? Go ahead! Touch it! 

Mona: Where'd you get it?

Lisa: My mom, she's got really bad cancer and wears a red wig. Guess what kind of cancer she has.

Mona: Uh..Lung?(No!) Colon? Mouth? Throat? Breast? Liver! Pancreas? Blood? Brain? Bone? Skin? What else is there?

Lisa: Eye cancer.

Mona: I'v never heard of that.

Lisa: It's brand-new, my mom's one of the first. She'll die in less than a year.

Mona: Is there anything I can do?

Lisa: I like pirates, I hate Ann DiGanno. Are you sick?

Mona: What do you mean?

Lisa: If you wanna do sth for me, then never get sick, ever!