【荆棘鸟】第六章 07(在线收听

在厨房里,他将这对双生子交给了欣喜若狂的史密斯太太,然后将梅吉带在身边,顺着走道向上房走去。
  玛丽·卡森正坐在高背椅中。这些年来,她很难得离开它走动走动:由于帕迪督办诸事得力,什么都不再需要她费心了。当拉尔夫神父抱着梅吉走进来的时候,她那恶狠狠的瞪视把这孩子搞得心慌意乱,拉尔夫神父感觉到梅吉的脉搏在加快,便同情地紧搂着她的腰。小姑娘对她行了一个笨拙的屈膝礼,含糊不清地嘟囔了几句问候的话。
  "到厨房去吧,姑娘。和史密斯太太一起喝茶。"玛丽·卡森简短地说道。
  "你为什么不喜欢她呢?"当拉尔夫神父坐在那把他逐渐认为是为他准备的椅子中时,问道。
  "因为你喜欢她,"她答道。
  "啊,得啦!"这是她头一次使他感到不知所措。"她不过是个流浪儿罢了,玛丽。"
  "你可不是这么看待她的,这个你自己清楚。"
  那双蓝湛湛的眼睛讽刺地停留在她的身上;他从容得多了。"你认为我损害了一个孩子吗?我毕竟是个教士啊!"
  "你首先是个男人,拉尔夫·德·布里克萨特!当教士使你感到安全,就是这么回事。"
  他吃了一惊,然后大笑起来。不管怎么样,今天他无法搪塞她了;就好像她在他的铠甲上发现了裂隙,将她那蜘蛛毒慢慢地从那里渗透进去了似的。在基兰搏,也许他起了变化,变得老了,变得甘愿心和为贵了。他的激情正在熄灭,或许,现在这激情是为其他的东西而燃烧吧?
  "我不是一个男人,"他说。"我是个教士……也许,天气太热,到处是尘土和苍蝇……但我不是个男人,玛丽,我是个教士。"
  "哦,拉尔夫,你的变化有多么大呀!"她嘲弄地说道,"让我听听,这样能成为德·布里克萨特主教吗?"
  "这是不可能的,"他说道,眼中闪过一丝愁苦。"我想,我再也不想当主教了。"
  她站了起来,在她的椅子上笑得前仰后合;她望着他。"你不想了吗,拉尔夫?不想了吗?喂,我让你再多烦恼一会吧,但是你估计的那个日子快来了,这是毋庸置疑的。也许两三年还不行,不过这一天会来的。我会像撒旦一样,并且给你提供机会!但是,千万别忘了,我会让你苦恼的。你是我所见过的最迷人的男子。你用你的英俊当面嘲弄我们,蔑视我们的愚蠢。但是,我会让你尝尝自己弱点的苦果,我要让你像任何一个描眉涂唇的妓女一样出卖自己。
 
At the cookhouse he relinquished the twins to an ecstatic Mrs. Smith and passed on up the walkway to the main house with Meggie by his side. Mary Carson was sitting in her wing chair. She hardly ever moved from it these days; there was not the necessity any more with Paddy so capable of overseeing things. As Father Ralph came in holding Meggie's hand, her malevolent gaze beat the child's down; Father Ralph felt the increase in Meggie's pulse rate and squeezed her wrist sympathetically. The little girl dropped her aunt a clumsy curtsy, murmuring an inaudible greeting. "Go to the kitchen, girl, have your tea with Mrs. Smith," said Mary Carson curtly.
"Why don't you like her?" Father Ralph asked as he sank into the chair he had come to think of as his own.
"Because you do," she answered.
"Oh, come now!" For once she made him feel at a loss. "She's just a waif, Mary."
"That's not what you see in her, and you know it."
The fine blue eyes rested on her sardonically; he was more at ease. "Do you think I tamper with children? I am, after all, a priest!" "You're a man first, Ralph de Bricassart! Being a priest makes you feel safe, that's all."
Startled, he laughed. Somehow he couldn't fence with her today; it was as if she had found the chink in his armor, crept inside with her spider's poison. And he was changing, growing older perhaps, becoming reconciled to obscurity in Gillanbone. The fires were dying; or was it that he burned now for other things?
"I am not a man," he said. "I am a priest.... It's the heat, maybe, the dust and the flies . . . . But I am not a man, Mary. I'm a priest." "Oh, Ralph, how you've changed!" she mocked. "Can this be Cardinal de Bricassart I hear?"
"It isn't possible," he said, a passing unhappiness in his eyes. "I don't think I want it anymore."
She began to laugh, rocking back and forth in her chair, watching him. "Don't you, Ralph? Don't you? Well, I'll let you stew a little while longer, but your day of reckoning is coming, never doubt it. Not yet, not for two or three years, perhaps, but it will come. I'll be like the Devil, and offer you- Enough said! But never doubt I'll make you writhe. You're the most fascinating man I've ever met. You throw your beauty in our teeth, contemptuous of our foolishness. But I'll pin you to the wall on your own weakness,
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