你迟到最好有个好理由

　　because I managed to get here on time despite removing the disease pigeon feathers from my hair.

　　因为我花不少时间把病鸽子羽毛从头发上弄下来，也一样没迟到

　　I do. So today when we were cleaning up that apartment

　　我有。今天我们不是打扫那间公寓嘛

　　and I had my hands in a total stranger's toilet,

　　当我把手放在一个陌生人的马桶里时

　　I realized if we're really gonna be successful, we've got to think outside the bull.

　　我意识到我们真想成功，就必须得打破思维

　　So after I thoroughly washed my hands, I know they never really come off though, right?

　　所以当我把手彻底洗干净后，我知道那是永远洗不掉的，对吧

　　Off your soul, I mean.

　　如跗骨之蛆玷污你的灵魂

　　I made a call to a connection I know and got us a real cupcake job. And it's in Manhattan.

　　我打了个电话找人拉关系，给咱俩接了个蛋糕单子。还是在曼哈顿哦

　　It's the first birthday party for the son of a socialite.

　　是某个社会名流之子的一岁生日

　　60 cupcakes with buttercream frosting. Up top. Buttercream?

　　60个奶油糖霜的小蛋糕，击个掌吧。奶油？

　　This is not the response I was expecting from my business partner.

　　我可不想我的合伙人给我这种反应哦

　　I was expecting wooo! Awesome job! Thumbs up, buddy.

　　我要是的"哟呵"，干得好，太棒了，伙计

　　Why? Is your business partner on a show of Nicklodeon?

　　为什么？你的合伙人又不是儿童节目主持

　　Look, I don't do buttercream. Buttercream is a bitch.

　　听着，我不做奶油蛋糕。奶油是个贱人

　　If it doesn't stay refrigerated, it falls apart as fast as a two-celebrity marriage.

　　如果不把它冷藏好，它会比名人的婚姻塌得还快