麦克斯，你没事吧？我尽快赶来了

　　Caroline texted me to hurry over

　　卡洛琳发短信叫我快来

　　because you didn't know you were pregnant, and you were giving birth over toilet.

　　说你不知道自己怀孕，还准备要在厕所生孩子

　　So I grabbed my plunger and ran!

　　我抓着马桶吸就冲来了

　　That is insane. I never texted that.

　　太夸张了吧，我没发过这短信啊

　　No, I did, when I stole your phone. I needed a reason to get Sophie over here.

　　我发的，我刚偷用了你的手机。我要拐苏菲过来得有理由嘛

　　I can't believe she believed it.

　　我不敢相信她会信你的屁话

　　Oh, come on, Max. Giving birth over toilet? That is very you.

　　麦克斯，在厕所里生娃。十足你的风格

　　Now that you are here, Sophie, sit. I want to tell you something important.

　　苏菲，既然你都来了，坐吧。我想跟你说一件重要的事

　　Well, you can forget that. There's no way I'm going to stay.

　　你就算了吧。我才不会留下来呢

　　A cupcake party? Oh, look, and this one even has a pretzel in it.

　　有小蛋糕派对啊？这一个上面还有椒盐卷饼呢

　　Yup, that's our "salty n' spice" for our more adventurous customers.

　　那是我们的"咸配香料"口味给喜爱新奇口味的顾客

　　Also for the uptight white people,

　　而保守的白人顾客呢

　　we have the very, very vanilla which is... big surprise... my favorite.

　　我们也做了非常传统的香草口味。毫无意外...这也是我最爱的口味

　　And this is our beer-batter maple bacon spring break cupcake.

　　这是酒混面粉加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕

　　That's for stoners, and big surprise, my favorite.

　　给瘾君子的，比如我的最爱啦

　　We can only take four flavors to represent our cupcake business.

　　我们只能选四个口味带去代表我们的小蛋糕店

　　See? Not one word ever about anyone else. I have a pet ferret, if anyone gives a damn.

　　你看，说话向来只提自己的事。有人在乎我有养只小雪貂吗。