And balanced in the water. 能保持在水中的浮力和平衡

　　Hmm. 嗯

　　Okay, I just want to reconfirm your yard-sale requests. 好了，我再来确认一下你们对庭院拍卖会的要求

　　Grandma—anything with Garfield on it. 奶奶，任何有加菲猫的东西

　　Eddie—used gold grille. 埃迪，二手的金车栅

　　Emery—old silk ties. 埃默里，旧的丝绸领带

　　Evan—horse stickers. 埃文，小马贴纸

　　Unicorns okay, too? 独角兽的也可以吗

　　As long as it has four hooves 只要是有四个蹄子

　　And a beautiful face, I want it. 和一张俏脸的，我都要

　　Why do you need to wear my fishing vest 你为什么要穿着我的钓鱼背心

　　To go yard-sale shopping? 去庭院拍卖会啊

　　I put different dollar amounts in various pockets. 我把数额不一样的钱放在不同口袋里

　　When a seller gives me a price, 等到卖家出价的时候

　　I reach into a pocket with a lesser amount, pull it out, 我就把手伸进一个钱比较少的口袋里，把钱拿出来

　　And act like it's all I have to offer. 装成我只有这些钱一样

　　"$4 for a lite-brite? 一个画板游戏要四刀

　　But I only have $3." 可是我只能出三刀

　　Oh, um, I'm holding those for... 这些是

　　well, this is a disaster. 这里简直是一幅劫后景象

　　Your mother and I are back and forth 你妈妈和我

　　At each other's house so often, 来往那么频繁

　　It's hard to remember whose tupperware is whose. 很难记住哪些特百惠盒子是谁的

　　Well, let's assume yours 那就让我们大胆假设

　　Are the ones with the spaghetti stains. 那些有意大利面油渍的是你的

　　It looks like the rest are ours. 看上去剩下的就是我们的了

　　Uh... 啊

　　Hey, Nicole. 嘿，妮可

　　Looks like you had a productive week with your mom. 看来你跟你妈妈在一起这周很有收获啊

　　Yeah, we went to the outlet mall. 是啊，我们去了品牌折扣店

　　I bought a ton of tube socks. 我买了一堆圆筒短袜

　　I'm gonna cut the feet off and wear them as tops. 我要把下面剪掉把它们做成小背心来穿

　　that's creative. 很有创意啊

　　Did you also work on your science project? 你做了你的科学项目作业了吗

　　Nicole, the plan was, 妮可，原计划就是

　　You were going to finish it at Sarah's. 让你到莎拉那里做完的

　　I know, but we were just having so much fun. 我知道，但是我们玩得太开心了

　　Right, mom? 对吧，妈妈

　　Wait. She's here? 等等，她来这里了

　　Hey, hussy. 嘿，小婊砸

　　Surprised to see you standing. 你居然还屹立不倒呢

　　Between all your digging for gold 你傍大款这么辛苦

　　And those fake clangers on your chest, 再加上你胸前坠着那两坨假肉

　　Your back must be killing you. 你的腰早该断了吧

　　I'm gonna use the master bathroom. 我要用一下主浴室

　　You remember—the one I had re-tiled 你记得的，在你和我老公愉快玩耍的时候

　　While you were slappin' cakes with my husband. 我翻修的那间

　　I'm glad she's going to the bathroom 还好她去卫生间了

　　Because her mouth belongs in the toilet. 因为她那张嘴就跟厕所一样臭

　　Sarah came into the house today. 莎拉今天来我家了

　　Mclachlan? 麦克拉克兰

　　No. Marvin's ex-wife, Nicole's mother. 不是，是马文的前妻，妮可的妈妈

　　Well, if Sarah Mclachlan ever does come over, 好吧，要是莎拉·麦克拉克兰哪天大驾光临（加拿大女歌手）

　　Tell her her new album is so great. 告诉她她的新专辑太棒了

　　Anyway, she had Nicole for a whole week, 不管怎样，妮可在她那里待了整整一周

　　And they didn't get her homework done, 她们都没把她的作业弄完

　　So now I'm scrambling 所以现在就轮到我

　　To help her come up with a science project. 紧急帮她想出来一个科学项目

　　Did you tell Marvin about it? I tried.  你跟马文说过吗，我试过了

　　So, Sarah came in the house today, 莎拉今天来过了

　　Just barged in like she still lives here. 大摇大摆地好像她还住在这里一样

　　She is always rude to me, 她对我的态度一直很差

　　And she is not responsible when it comes to Nicole. 而且她对妮可一点都不负责任

　　I really think you need to step up and... 我觉得你是时候站出来...

　　Sounds like you just need 听起来你只能自己

　　To deal with Sarah yourself, confront her. 对付莎拉了，和她正面硬刚

　　Mnh, it's fine. I just needed to vent. 嗯，算了，我就是需要撒撒气

　　Well, I should head out. I'll call you later. 好了，我得走了，一会儿给你打电话

　　I have to go work on Nicole's science experiment. 我得去帮妮可弄她的科学实验了

　　Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school again, 有时候我觉得我就好像回到了高中一样

　　Minus my dreads. 只是不用提心吊胆了

　　Sharks do not normally hunt humans. 鲨鱼一般不捕食人类

　　When they do attack people, 当它们攻击人的时候

　　It is usually a case of mistaken identity. 一般是出现了错认的情况

　　This is exactly what sharks want us to think. 鲨鱼就是想要我们低估它们

　　When we return, the secret mating habits 广告之后，即将揭开鲸鲨

　　Of the whale shark. 交配习性的秘密

　　Eddie, can you change the channel to PBS? 埃迪，你能换台到公共电视网吗

　　Emery and I want to see what Julia child is baking today. 埃默里和我想要看看朱莉亚·查尔德（美国名厨）今天烤了什么

　　You crazy? You heard the man. 你脑子坏掉了吗，你听见电视里说的了

　　They about to reveal some sex secrets. 他们马上要揭开啪啪啪的神秘面纱了

　　Shh! Eddie... 嘘，埃迪

　　Go everywhere you want with the ease and comfort 爵士1115型电动轮椅可以带你去任何地方的同时

　　Of the jazzy 1115 power chair. 为你提供方便和舒适

　　The jazzy turns on a dime making it ideal for... 爵士电动轮椅的灵活性使其成为

　　Get out in the sunshine, 外出晒太阳

　　Cruise the neighborhood, visit your friends... 社区游玩，访亲走友的理想出行工具

　　Yes. A child. 太好了，一个小屁孩

　　I'd like to talk about this $7 blender. 这个七刀的搅拌器我想跟你还还价

　　I'll give you $4. 我出四刀

　　Well, since you're wearing olive green -- 看在你穿着我最喜欢的颜色

　　My favorite color—okay. 也就是橄榄绿色的衣服的份上，好吧

　　$4 for the blender, please. 卖你四刀吧

　　Oh, shucks. But I only have $3. 哎哟，糟糕了，我这里只有三刀

　　Tell you what -I'll give you $3 for it, 这样吧，我出三刀

　　And I'll pretend I didn't notice 就假装没看见

　　The calcium stains in the pitcher. 搅拌筒里的钙渍

　　You're scaring me. 你吓到我了

　　I'm gonna have to check with my dad. 我得去问问我爸爸

　　My aunt Judy, who recently passed away, 我姨妈朱迪最近去世了

　　Had this exact same vacuum. 她有个一模一样的吸尘器

　　I know she would have wanted me to have it... 如果她在天有灵一定会想让我得到它

　　Offered to me at a lower price. 还会低价卖给我

　　it's just who my aunt Judy was. 我姨妈就是这样的善人

　　Okay, okay. 好吧，好吧

　　I'll let you have it for $15. 给我十五刀它就是你的了

　　Oh, thank you. Thank you! 谢谢你，太感谢了

　　My dad says you don't look like you're worth the hassle. 我爸爸说跟你讲价划不来

　　$3 is fine. 就给三刀吧

　　Your dad is a smart man. 你爸爸真识趣

　　And that'll be $20 for the Joan Baez record. 这个琼·贝兹的唱片是二十刀的

　　Oh. I -I thought it came with the blender. 哦，我，我以为这是搅拌器的赠品呢

　　Nice negotiating. 砍价砍得不错

　　Did you use visine for the tears or onion powder? 你这眼泪用的是眼药水还是洋葱末

　　Oh, they're real. 哦，眼泪是真的

　　I think about the bargains I missed in the past 一想到以前我错过的那些便宜货

　　Get me in the right headspace. 我就立马进入状态了

　　And then, to get the tears flowing, 然后，为了让眼泪到位

　　I think about all the kittens that died 我就想想电影《子猫物语》里面

　　During the filming of "Milo and Otis." 那些死掉的小猫咪

　　I like you. 我欣赏你

　　Mm. 嗯

　　Ew. Eddie used the same knife, 恶心，埃迪用了同一把刀

　　And now there's mayo in the mustard jar. 结果现在芥末酱罐里也有蛋黄酱了

　　I don't know why you're being all precious. 你这么矫情干什么

　　I licked both your bread slices. 反正你的面包片两边我都舔过了

　　I'm in a rush, son. 我急着呢，小朋友

　　I don't want to miss any of the shark marathon. 我可不想错过一丁点鲨鱼特辑的精彩内容

　　You know, I was thinking—grandma looked so happy 我在想，奶奶看见那个电动轮椅广告的

　　When she saw that motorized-wheelchair commercial. 时候看上去很兴奋

　　Maybe we can get her one. 我们能不能给她买一台

　　We can surprise her with it. 我们可以给她个惊喜

　　Well, that's a nice thought, boys, 想法很不错啊，孩子们

　　But I'm sure those machines are very expensive. 但是那个轮椅肯定很贵

　　I called the toll-free number, 我打了免付长途费的电话问过了

　　And they said immobile seniors can qualify 他们说六十五岁及以上的老年人

　　For a free jazzy power chair if they're 65 or older. 可以免费享受一台的爵士电动轮椅

　　And grandma is...? I don't know.  那奶奶是，我哪儿知道

　　You don't know? You don't know!  你怎么能不知道，你不也不知道

　　But she made you. 你是怎么做儿子的

　　Do you know your mom's age? 你们知道你们妈妈的年龄吗

　　31 -28 -43  31. 28. 43.

　　That's the combination to the padlock on the shed. 那是棚子里挂锁的密码组合好吗

　　Um, grandma, how old are you? 嗯，奶奶，你多大了

　　But you know when your birthday is. 但是你知道你的生日是几号啊

　　I get that. 我懂得

　　March 24th was my steak birthday. 三月二十四是我的初食牛排日

　　That's beautiful. 真是天籁啊

　　Did you write that? 是你自己作的曲吗

　　Yes. 是的

　　Oh, I am so glad you called. 幸好你给我打电话了

　　I need a drink. 我得喝一杯

　　All day, I've been helping Nicole with her science project. 这一整天，我都在帮妮可做她的科学项目

　　How was the yard sale? Good.  庭院拍卖会怎么样，很顺利

　　I got a blender, I got this music box, 我买了一个搅拌器，还有这个音乐盒

　　And I got some porcelain mice figurines. 我还淘到了几个陶瓷老鼠玩偶

　　Three ciders? Who's the extra glass for? 三杯苹果酒，这个多出来的杯子是给谁的

　　What the hell are you doing here? 你在这里做什么

　　What the hell are you doing here? 你在这里做什么

　　Jessica invited me. Jessica invited me.  是杰西卡邀请我来的，杰西卡邀请了我

　　You guys know each other? 你们俩认识啊

　　This is Sarah, Nicole's mom. 这是莎拉，妮可的妈妈

　　This is Sarah, Sarah? 她就是那个莎拉

　　And that's whore-face, the woman who stole my husband. 她就是那个绿茶婊，那个抢我老公的女人

　　You know what? I'm out of here. 懒得跟你说话，我要走了

　　No. You can't go. 不行，你不能走

　　I just put 50 cents in the jukebox, 我刚往点歌机里放了五十美分

　　And I picked the two best songs. 从莎拉·麦克拉克兰的《忘我的追寻》里

　　From Sarah Mclachlan's "Fumbling towards ecstasy." 挑了两首最好听的歌

　　And deb doesn't let anyone leave when Mclachlan is playing. 黛比放麦克拉克兰的歌的时候，谁都别想走

　　All right, everybody. 好了，朋友们

　　I need you to close your eyes 闭上眼吧

　　And get ready to feel this. 好好感受这音乐

　　Okay, Sarah, bring it. 没问题，莎拉，来吧

　　And then the delivery man backed his truck over my lawn. 然后，那个送货员把车倒到了我们家草坪上

　　My point is, that was a real enemy. 重点是，这才叫敌人

　　This, between you two, is fixable. 你们俩的小矛盾，根本不算事

　　You want to take mine, too? 要不你把我这杯也喝了

　　I already put my mouth on it. 我已经喝过了

　　Seems to be your move. 你不是最爱干这事吗

　　Mnh-mnh, no. 错了

　　My move would be taking that cider, 因为这杯苹果酒

　　Unhappy with its previous glass, 跟旧杯子不合适

　　And upgrading it to a fresh, new glass 所以它才得装进一个

　　Who is capable of love. 懂爱的新杯子里

　　Also, the old glass has a prescription-drug problem. 而且，这旧杯子还有滥用药的毛病

　　I have fibromyalgia! 那是因为我有纤维瘤

　　Two strong women giving each other a hard time. 女人何苦为难女人

　　This is good. 吵得好

　　This is healing. 吵完了就好了

　　okay, everyone, uh... 朋友们

　　...Just as a reminder, 顺道说一下

　　We're an official vendor for women's fest tickets. 我们官方供应妇女节派对的门票

　　See Pam at the bar. 到吧台找帕姆要吧

　　Whoo! Yeah, girl! 太棒了

　　I'm leaving. Me too.  我先走了，我也走

　　Stop following me. There's only one door.  别跟着我，这儿就一个门

　　Strange items have been found in the stomachs 在虎鲨的肚子里总能找到奇怪的东西

　　Of tiger sharks, including old license plates, 包括老车牌

　　Alarm clocks, tennis rackets. 闹钟，网球拍

　　If mom won't get me a gold grille, 妈妈要是不给我买金车栅的话

　　Maybe I can find one inside a shark. 我可能能在鲨鱼肚子里找一个

　　Eddie, come on. Help us figure out how old grandma is. 埃迪，快帮跟我们一块研究奶奶今年多少岁了

　　Grandma, when you were younger, did you miss school because, 奶奶，你年轻的时候没能上学是因为

　　"A," Polio, A 小儿麻痹症

　　"B," Plague, B 瘟疫

　　Or "C," Volcanoes? 还是C火山爆发

　　Well, we were— 这个嘛，我们是在

　　Emery's doing a report about grandmothers for school. 因为埃默里在做一个关于祖母的调查报告的学校作业

　　what? Why would you say that? 你胡说什么呢

　　So we can surprise her with the chair. 这样就能把电动椅变成惊喜送给奶奶了

　　Where are you going? To write the report.  你干嘛去，写报告啊

　　If my grandmother thinks I'm writing a report on her, 既然奶奶以为我在写关于她的报告

　　Then I'm writing a report on her. 那我真写一篇好了

　　I don't know about y'all, but I'm going to heaven. 你们的下场我不知道，但我可是要上天堂的

　　I am sorry about yesterday. 昨天的事我真抱歉

　　If I had known that Sarah was Marvin's ex, 我要是早知道莎拉是马文的前妻

　　I never would have put you in that awkward position. 我绝不会把你弄得那么尴尬

　　Please accept your Tupperware as an apology. 我把你的特百惠还给你，拿着吧，是我的道歉

　　it's okay. 没关系啦

　　It's not your fault. 不是你的错

　　That's for Nicole's science project. 妮可的科学实验好了

　　Come on in. 快进来

　　We're studying the effects of different corrosive acids 我们俩在研究几种腐蚀性酸

　　On tooth enamel. 用在牙釉质上的效果

　　Ooh. Share your findings. 来说说你的发现吧

　　Nice potion kit. 装备不错嘛

　　Nicole, you were supposed to take the teeth out 妮可，定时器响的时候

　　When the timer went off. 你就应该把牙拿出来了

　　This was a controlled experiment. 这是个对照试验

　　So I'll do it now. It's not a big deal. 我现在拿呗，又不是什么大事

　　It is a big deal. 这就是大事啊

　　This is your school project, 这是你学校的任务

　　And you need to get a good grade on it. 你得拿个好分数

　　You don't want to repeat ninth grade like you did eighth. 你八年级就留级了，九年级你肯定不想再留了吧

　　So, what if I do get held back? 留级怎么了

　　Mom didn't even graduate from high school, 我妈妈高中都没毕业

　　And she's doing great. 她现在也很好啊

　　She deejays at the Radisson on Sundays, 她周日在雷迪森酒店当DJ

　　And she's the head of the glove department at Saks. 她还是萨克斯第五大道百货手套区的主管

　　She said she can hook me up with a job there whenever. 她说她在那儿帮我找个工作轻而易举

　　Department head. 主管哦

　　She sells gloves out of a 4x4 counter next to the bathroom. 其实她就是在卫生间旁边一个4*4平方米的小柜台卖手套

　　She's a subdivision of hats and scarves. 那只是个帽子围巾部的小分区

　　and she's way more fun than you. 她比你有意思多了

　　Uh, young lady, we're in the middle of an experiment! 喂，这位小姐，实验还没做完呢

　　Or have you forgotten about the teeth-heat trial in the oven? 你忘了烤箱里的牙齿加热实验吗

　　Aw. 噢

　　Ruined. 完蛋了

　　What was the goal? 本来应该是啥样

　　I hate always having to be the hard-ass. 我也不想总扮黑脸啊

　　you know, Nicole has so much potential, 你知道吗，妮可很有潜力

　　But she won't challenge herself 但她就是不愿意挑战自己

　　Because Sarah keeps telling her 因为莎拉老是跟她说

　　She has some glove job waiting for her, 她以后可以去卖手套，她都给她准备好了

　　Which, by the way, Sarah doesn't even need 但其实她根本用不着卖手套啊

　　Because Marvin pays her a ton of alimony. 马文付给她一大笔赡养费

　　I wish that wasn't even an option for Nicole. 妮可不能卖手套去

　　I wish she would think bigger 她应该有更大的梦想

　　And realize there's more out there. 她应该知道她未来的可能性太多了

　　Thank you for letting me vent. 谢谢你愿意听我吐槽

　　Absolutely. 绝对挺你

　　that's what I'm here for. 我来这儿就是让你吐槽的嘛

　　Hey. Whoa. 嘿，哇

　　Where—where did you get these? 你，你从哪儿拿的

　　Well, second cousin Susan hung up on me again. 好吧，二表姐苏珊又把我电话挂了

　　I think we've exhausted our options. 我觉得我们已经穷途末路了

　　You could pay the long distance. 你可以打付费国际电话啊

　　Yeah, I think we're out of options. 对，确实穷途末路了

　　I finished my report on grandma. I've got great news. 我的报告写完了，我有个特大好消息

　　I was looking through old photographs, 我翻看了老照片

　　And I figured out how old she is. 算出了奶奶的年龄

　　Well, spit it out, man. How old is she? 快说啊，多少

　　Does she qualify for a jazzy chair? 她够大吗，爵士电动轮椅能免费吗

　　She does. 她年龄够了

　　hello? 你好

　　You have received a collect call from... 您有一通对方付费电话

　　Excuse me. Do you— 打扰一下，你知道

　　Oh, there's the bathroom. Never mind. 啊，卫生间就在这儿，没事了

　　Hey, Jessica, nice to see you. 嗨，杰西卡，你来了

　　Who's buying these gloves? Murderers? 谁会买这副手套，杀手吗

　　They're supposed to be putting the head on a snowman. 这个动作是在给雪人装头

　　I see it now. 我看出来了

　　So, what are you doing here? 你来这儿有什么事

　　I wanted to talk to you about something. 我想跟你聊一下

　　Sure. What's up? 好啊，怎么了

　　Somebody ripped out a bunch of seat protectors in there 有人把里面的坐垫纸撕了

　　And threw them on the floor. 还扔了一地

　　Okay, well, that's not my department. 哦，是吗，我不管这个

　　all right. Okay. 好吧

　　You're welcome. 不用谢

　　Thank you... 谢谢你

　　For... 你干什么了

　　I took care of your problem. 我替你解决了问题

　　I got Sarah fired. 我让莎拉被开除了

　　Uh... 呃

　　What do you mean you got Sarah fired? 你让莎拉被开除了是什么意思

　　You said you didn't want her getting Nicole 你说你不想让妮可因为她

　　A job at Saks to be an option, 在萨克斯卖手套

　　And now...It's not. 现在，她卖不了了

　　What did you do? 你干什么了

　　I went to Sarah's work, and I talked to her. 我去了莎拉工作的地方，和她聊了会天

　　I explained to her how she's putting you 跟她说了她让你在妮可面前

　　In a difficult position with Nicole, 有多尴尬和不堪

　　Always having to be the hard-ass. 老是被逼得扮黑脸

　　She did not agree. 但她不这么觉得

　　She had a different version of events. 她也有她的说法

　　So I listened to her patiently, said goodbye, 所以我就耐心地听她说了说，和她告了别

　　Then I went and found her manager 然后就去找了她的经理

　　And told him she was a racist. 说她种族歧视

　　She said something racist to you? 她跟你发表种族歧视言论了吗

　　No, of course not, but I told him she did. 怎么可能，但我就这么说了

　　I said, "She refused to sell me gloves 我说，她不卖我手套

　　Because her uncle fought in the war." 因为她叔叔参加了战争

　　What war? Whatever war. Doesn't matter.  什么战争，管它呢，不重要

　　Jessica, when I said that thing about Sarah and Nicole, 杰西卡，我跟你说的关于莎拉和妮可的事

　　I was just venting. 都是吐槽的话

　　Exactly. I know. 当然，我懂

　　Do you? 真的吗

　　Yes. 当然

　　Jessica? 你确定

　　okay, fine. 好吧好吧

　　I have no idea what you're talking about! 我不知道你什么意思

　　You keep using this word "Venting." 一直在说吐槽这个词

　　What does that even mean? 吐槽是什么意思

　　If you didn't know, why didn't you ask? 既然你不懂，为什么不问问我呢

　　Because sometimes I need our conversations 因为有时候我想让咱们的谈话

　　To move along, honey. 顺顺利利的啊，亲爱的

　　Do you know how long they would take 要是我每次有哪个词不懂

　　If I had to stop you every time 就打断你

　　I didn't understand a word you used? 那得浪费多少时间啊

　　"Venting," "Closure," "Clinique." “吐槽”“终结”“倩碧”

　　"Venting" Means talking stuff out. “吐槽”就是把心里憋着的话说出来

　　I just needed you to listen. I did.  我只是想让你倾听我的感受，我听了啊

　　I listened to your problem, 我听你吐槽了

　　And then I, as a friend, help you to fix it. 作为一个朋友，听完我还帮你解决的了问题

　　This is just gonna make things harder for me. 但现在情况更糟了

　　I mean, god knows I don't like Sarah, 我的意思是，我确确实实不喜欢莎拉

　　But I definitely didn't want her to lose her job. 但我绝对不希望她丢掉工作

　　I thought you said she didn't even need that job. 我还以为你说她不需要那份工作

　　Again, I was just venting. 再说一遍，我只是在吐槽而已

　　I'm not even positive that's true. 我甚至不确定我说的是不是真的

　　So, venting is lying. 那么说来吐槽这个词的意思是撒谎咯

　　And what about Nicole? 那妮可怎么办

　　She's gonna hear about this 她要是听说了这件事

　　And think that I asked you to do it. 然后认为是我让你做的

　　So, you didn't want me to do anything. No.  如此说来，你不想让我做任何事情，不想

　　You just wanted to talk it out. Right.  你只是想抱怨一下，是的

　　Because I was... Venting.  因为我那时，在吐槽

　　Yes. Okay. 是的，好了

　　I get it now. 现在我明白了

　　Oh, honey, don't worry. 哦，哈妮，别担心

　　We're gonna fix this 我们会处理好这件事情的

　　So you can put it all behind you and get...Clinique. 所以你现在可以放下这件事情了，然后，去买倩碧

　　Close enough. 很接近了

　　Next up, the great white shark attacks a seal, 接下来，大白鲨攻击了一只海豹

　　Thrashing its prey around like a rag doll. 像玩弄一只破烂的娃娃一样撕咬着它的猎物

　　Yo, the life of an actual rag doll 哟，一只破烂娃娃的现实生活

　　Must be mad horrific. 一定惊悚至极

　　Hey, mom, me and the boys 嘿，妈妈，我和孩子们

　　Have some exciting news to share. 要跟你分享一个激动人心的消息

　　We figured out how old you are. 我们搞清楚你的年纪了

　　When I did a report on you... 我在做一个关于你的报告

　　That was assigned to me... At school...By a teacher... 这是在学校，由老师，分配给我的一项任务

　　I came across this old photo. 我偶然看见了这张照片

　　That baby is you. 这个孩子是你

　　You're on page 11. I dog-eared it. 你读到了第十一页，我折了角

　　Anyway, I went to the library 话说回来，我去了趟图书馆

　　And did some research on the tractor manufacturer. 查了些关于拖拉机制造商的资料

　　That particular model was only in production 那个特殊的型号只被生产了

　　For one year before it was discontinued. 一年，之后就停产了

　　That year was 1927. 那年是1927年

　　So, grandma, you are 69 years old. 所以，奶奶，你今年已经69岁了

　　Hmm. 嗯

　　This means that you can get 这就意味着你可以

　　A motorized wheelchair for free! 免费得到一辆电动轮椅

　　We'll put some big old tires on it, 我们要放上几个大轮胎在上面

　　Hit cocoa beach for spring break. 在春假的时候去可可海滩玩

　　Oh, mom. 算了吧，妈妈

　　Back off, gary. The fern is mine. 走开，盖里，这个盆栽是我的

　　I brought it from home. 我从家里带来的

　　Sarah, you're not fired. 莎拉，你没有被解雇

　　What? 什么

　　The customer who filed the complaint 那个投诉你的顾客

　　Against you confessed she made it up. 承认她是污蔑你的

　　I'll tell you what— 我告诉你吧

　　There are some real wack-jobs out there. 这世上有不少人是疯子

　　But we knew that when we signed up 但我们进这行之前

　　For this crazy little game called retail. 就要有这种心理准备了

　　I don't get why anybody would do that. 我不明白怎么会有人做这种缺德事

　　Mm, ask her. She's right over there. 嗯，去问她吧，她就在那里

　　You already stole my husband. 你已经偷走我的丈夫

　　Now you're trying to get me fired? 现在你又害得我被解雇

　　Actually, it was me. 事实上，是我干的

　　It was you? Yes, it was me.  居然是你，是的，是我

　　I went to your manager, I used your tears trick, 我找了你们经理，然后用了你的眼泪绝技

　　And I got you fired. 害的你被解雇了

　　You were right about "Milo and Otis." Very effective. 关于《子猫物语》你说对了，非常有效

　　She only did it because she thought 她这样做只是因为她觉得

　　She was helping me, but this isn't what I wanted. 是在帮我，但这并不是我的本意

　　I don't want bad things for you. 我不希望你发生什么不好的事情

　　Oh, you expect me to believe that? 哦，你还指望我相信你吗

　　You blame me for your marriage with Marvin falling apart, 你怪我害得你和马文离婚

　　And I get that. 这我理解

　　Don't flatter yourself. 别往自己脸上贴金了

　　Marvin and I had issues before you. 在你出现之前我和马文之间就有问题

　　You're the result of the problems in my marriage, 你只不过是我们婚姻问题的产物罢了

　　Not the cause of them. 才不是起因

　　Can I just ask one question? 我能问一个问题吗

　　What is the appeal of Marvin? 马文有什么好的

　　What am I missing here? 难道是我没有注意到什么吗

　　It's not about Marvin. Trust me. 这和马文无关，相信我

　　He's narcissistic, insensitive, 他不仅自恋，不会照顾人

　　And he refuses to believe he's losing his hearing. 而且他还不相信他的听力越来越差了

　　You know how loud that man makes the TV? 你知道那个男人把电视开的多大声吗

　　Oh, I guess we're all watching "Mad about you." 哦，我猜我们大家都得跟着他《为你疯狂》

　　You know what? 你知道吗

　　He's actually none of those things— 他才不是你说的那样的

　　Honey, I think she's venting. 哈妮，我觉得她只是在吐槽罢了

　　Marvin's not the reason I'm so mean to you. 我不是因为马文才对你如此刻薄的

　　It's because of Nicole. 是因为妮可

　　I want her to like me more than she likes you, 我希望她比起你更喜欢我

　　Which is why I let things like her science project slide. 这也就是为什么我对她的科学项目睁一只眼闭一只眼

　　As long as I'm always fun, 只要我一直有趣

　　Nicole will want to spend time with me. 妮可就会喜欢和我在一起

　　Sarah, she'll want to spend time with you because you're her mom. 莎拉，她想要和你一起是因为你是她的妈妈

　　And I will never get in the way of that. 我是永远不会破坏你们母女感情的

　　I appreciate you saying that. 谢谢你能这样说

　　Honey! 哈妮

　　It's what you've been looking for— 那是你一直在找的

　　Clinique. 倩碧

　　Oh, hi. 哦，你好

　　Can I help you folks with anything? 有什么需要帮忙的吗

　　One new wheelchair for our grandma. 给我们奶奶来一把新的轮椅

　　And this pimp cane, please. 还有这只拐杖，谢谢

　　Uh, she qualifies for a free jazzy power chair. 额，她有资格免费得到一台爵士电动轮椅

　　We don't have a birth certificate for her, 我们没有她的出生证明

　　But my son has proof that she's over 65. 但我儿子有证据证明她已经65岁以上了

　　If you look at this baby picture of her next to a tractor— 你看这张她婴儿时期在拖拉机旁的照片

　　Oh, no. No need. 哦，不，没有必要

　　I can tell just by looking at her she's obviously old enough. 我光看看她的脸就知道她已经够老了了

　　I'll just, uh, get a Polaroid of her face 我就，额，拍一张她的照片

　　To send to the insurance company. 送到保险公司

　　I'm sure they'll approve the application. 我相信他们会批准这个申请的

　　Say, "Cheese." 说，茄子

　　That's a lot of words for "Cheese" But okay. 这个"茄子"怎么那么多字啊，不过没关系

　　Oh. At least 65. 哦，至少有65岁了

　　So, even though one of the blades is broken, 尽管其中一个刀片坏掉了

　　My $3 blender still blends. 但我三刀买来的搅拌机还是可以用的

　　I love pulse. Mm. 我超喜欢搅拌，嗯

　　I'll pulse anything—strawberry, ice cube, egg. 我喜欢搅拌任何东西，草莓，冰块，鸡蛋

　　Hey, Marvin. 嘿，马文

　　Hi, sweetie. 嗨，亲爱的

　　Hello, Jessica. 嗨，杰西卡

　　Those teeth I borrowed were from his private collection. 那些牙齿是我从他的私人珍藏里借来的

　　He has spent years gathering teeth 他几年来一直收集那些

　　From powerful historical figures 有权有势的历史人物的牙齿

　　To put together the perfect mouth. 为了凑成一张完美的嘴

　　He calls it "Mouth Brushmore." 他把它称为"名嘴山"

　　i get why you like him now. 我明白你为什么喜欢他了

　　Hi, honey. Hi, Mrs. Huang. 嗨，哈妮，嗨，黄太太

　　Maybe you and I can hang out tonight, 你今晚可以跟我一起玩吗

　　Watch a movie or something? 看场电影什么的

　　You have to do your math homework. 你要做你的数学作业

　　Oh. I'm already done. Mom helped me finish it. 哦，我做完了，妈妈帮我完成的

　　She said I had to before she dropped me off. 她说在送我回来之前一定要做完

　　Oh. Uh, then, yeah, yeah, a movie sounds nice. 哦，那么，好的，看电影听起来不错

　　Oh, this is a nice moment. 哦，真温馨啊

　　After you're done with it, 看完电影之后

　　You might want to check that math homework. 你最好去检查一下她的数学作业

　　Oh, yeah. Yeah. 哦，当然

　　The lone hammerhead shark waits for the perfect moment 这只独行的双髻鲨等待着绝佳时机

　　To strike its unsuspecting prey. 去袭击它那毫不知情的猎物