Eric, what you're about to see may shock you.
Then put a towel on.
OK, look!
Oh, my god! I don't see anything at all!
Don't toy with me, it's all over me. I've got hair, huge amounts.
Yeah, you're right, where?
I've got hair on my chin, on my chest and other places I don't see where / having hair on is really gonna help me.
Hey, you're right. Look, little wispy hairs. Congratulations, you're going through puberty. At least that's one explanation.
Eric, don't start with me. I'm on the edge, OK?
Well, it's just what you told me last night about being bitten by this wolf.
Well, I didn't get a good look at it. It might not have been a wolf.
So then it certainly wasn't an ordinary wolf, I mean, I don't know, buddy, one night you're bitten by a wolf, the next day, you are the chia boy. I don't wanna alarm you anything, but I think you might be turning into a werewolf.
Come on, who ever heard of a kid turning into a werewolf?
Oh, no one. Except the most widely read newspaper in America, read this.
"Siamese Twins Eat Their Way To Freedom"?
Oh, no, above the fold.
"Teenage Werewolf Probed by Top Scientists".
A kid who was on a camping trip got bitten by something he didn't get a good look at, kinda like you.
Wh...what happened to him?
Oh, nothing, nothing, he just turned into a werewolf.
This can't be true.
Oh, it's true. Jason's cousin met a guy at a party who knows the guy who saw the thing. They keep it in a secret steel-walled room in the Pentagon like this artist rendering. It's already killed six guards. Every full moon, they open this little door, and feed it live rats.
Alright, listen, I don't wanna hear about this anymore, Ok? I'm not a werewolf, I am not a werewolf.
They say the first sign is denial.
Cory, breakfast, I made you something special.
Humm, humm, big steaming bowl of rats.
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Cory?
Alright, I'm a hairy mess. Get out your Epilady and just do me.
No, sweetheart, I was just gonna say, don't forget your lunch.
It's Ok. I'll kill something at school.
I sense there's something on your mind.
Well, it's just this math problem I've been working on. If a werewolf leaves a train station going 40 miles an hour and another werewolf leaves at 60miles an hour... Do werewolves exist?
Is this about the wolf that escaped from the zoo?
Could be.
Cory, werewolves don't exist, relax, it's just a myth. You know, as you get older, you'll learn how to separate myth from reality.
What are you doing?
One of our soda distributors heard about this guy robbed the jewelry store and made off with five diamond rings.
And he hid those diamond rings in five cans of soda, thus your father and other grownups who can separate myth from reality have been boosting soda sales.
It's a three-carat diamond, babe.
I'm so thirsty.
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Epilady: a hair-removal product
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