向前一步:第63期 要成功 也要受欢迎(14)(在线收听) |
Men are allowed to be focused on their own achievements, while loyalty is expected from women. 人们允许男人关注自身,却期待女人的忠诚。 Also, just being nice is not a winning strategy. 而且,女性所表现出的友善态度并不是一个好策略,
Nice sends a message that the woman is willing to sacrifice pay to be liked by others. 这样做传达出来的信息是:这个女人为了讨别人的喜欢,所以愿意在报酬上做出牺牲。
This is why a woman needs to combine niceness with insistence, 这就是为什么一个女性需要将亲切力与坚持主见结合起来。
a style that Mary Sue Coleman, president of the University of Michigan, calls "relentlessly pleasant." 用密歇根大学校长玛丽·科尔曼的话来说就是“温柔的坚持”。
This method requires smiling frequently, expressing appreciation and concern, invoking common interests, emphasizing larger goals, 这种方式要求女性时常微笑,表达感激和关注,更多提及共同利益,强调更大的目标,
and approaching the negotiation as solving a problem as opposed to taking a critical stance. 在谈判时着眼于问题的解决而不是持一种批评的立场。
Most negotiations involve drawn-out, successive moves, so women need to stay focused and smile. 大多数谈判都会经历漫长、持续的阶段,在保持高度专注的同时,请别忘了保持微笑。
No wonder women don't negotiate as much as men. 我们不能责怪女人不善谈判,
It's like trying to cross a minefield backward in high heels. 这就好像穿着高跟鞋穿越雷区一样。
So what should we do? Should we play by the rules that others created? 那么我们应该做什么?我们是不是应该按照别人制定的规则来行动?
Should we figure out a way to put on a friendly expression while not being too nice, displaying the right levels of loyalty and using "we" language? 我们是不是应该设法让自己既表现得温和谦逊又不至于太没立场,体现出恰到好处的归属感,适当地用“我们”这样的人称代词?
I understand the paradox of advising women to change the world by adhering to biased rules and expectations. 我当然明白,建议女性既遵从具有偏见的规则,又期待她们改变世界,这无疑是个悖论。
I know it is not a perfect answer but a means to a desirable end. 我知道这并不是完美的答案,但它是达到目的的一种方式。 |
原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/xqyb/429654.html |