He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. 他依然微笑着。很难相信这样美丽的人居然存在在现实之中。

I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up. 我真怕他会忽然消失在一阵轻烟中，然后我惊醒过来。

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. 他似乎在等着我说点什么。

"This is different," I finally managed. “今天有点不太一样。”最终，我成功地挤出了几个字。

"Well..." He paused, and then the rest of the words followed in a rush. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." “嗯……”他停顿了片刻，然后决定一口气把话说完。“我打定主意了，就算我这是在下地狱，我也要把这一切做完。”

I waited for him to say something that made sense. The seconds ticked by. 我等着他说出意思更明确些的话。时间一分一秒地过去。

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," I eventually pointed out. “你知道，我不明白你在说什么。”我最终还是指出来了。

"I know." He smiled again, and then he changed the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you." “我知道。”他又笑了起来，然后转移了话题。“我觉得，因为我把你偷走了，你的朋友正在生我的气呢。”

"They'll survive." I could feel their stares boring into my back. “他们能活得下去。”我能感觉到他们烦人的目光直射着我的背。

"I may not give you back, though," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. “不过，我不打算把你还回去。”他说着，眼里闪过促狭的光芒。

I gulped. 我下意识地吞咽了一下。

He laughed. "You look worried." 他大笑起来：“你看起来很担心啊。”

"No," I said, but, ridiculously, my voice broke. "Surprised, actually... what brought all this on?" “不，”我说道，但可笑的是，我破音了。“确实，有点吃惊……是什么导致你改变了态度呢？”

"I told you—I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." He was still smiling, but his ocher eyes were serious. “我告诉过你了——我厌倦了，不想再把自己从你身边赶走。所以我放弃了。”他还是微笑着，但他黑金色的眸子显得很认真。

"Giving up?" I repeated in confusion. “放弃？”我迷惑地重复着他的话。

"Yes—giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." “是的——放弃强迫自己循规蹈矩。现在我只想随心所欲地做自己想做的事，那些无关紧要的琐事就由它们去吧。”

His smile faded as he explained, and a hard edge crept into his voice. 他解释着，嘴角的笑意有些黯淡，某种生硬的味道在他的语气中蔓延开来。