A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. 当我意识到它是空的时，一阵恐惧的颤抖在我的胃里翻腾着。

With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. 带着越来越渺茫的希望，我的眼睛搜索着自助餐厅的余下部分，希望能看见他独自坐着，等着我。

The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us late — 到处都坐满了人——西班牙语课让我们来晚了——

but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolation hit me with crippling strength. 却没有任何爱德华或者他的某个家人的影子。一种无力的荒凉感袭击了我。

I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore. 我蹒跚着走在杰西卡后面，不再费神假装在听她说话了。

We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. 我们来得太晚了，我们桌子上的人几乎都到齐了。

I avoided the empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela. 我避开迈克旁边的那张空椅子，更青睐安吉拉旁边那张。

I vaguely noticed that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face lit up in response. 我隐约留意到迈克彬彬有礼地为杰西卡拉开椅子，她的脸立刻容光焕发。

Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, 安吉拉安静地问了几个关于那篇《麦克白》的论文的问题，

which I answered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery. 我尽可能答得正常些，尽管此时我正盘旋着落入绝望的深渊。

She, too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping at anything to distract myself. 她也邀请我今晚和她们一起去，而我立刻答应了，想要抓住任何能让我分心的事。

I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, 当我走进生物教室的时候，我意识到自己怀着最后一线希望。

saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment. 但在看到他空空的座位以后，新一轮的失望向我涌来。

The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. 这一天剩下的时间过得漫长又沉默。

In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. 体育课上，我们要听羽毛球的规则讲演，这是排着队等着我的又一次煎熬。

But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. 但至少，这意味着我可以坐下来听课，而不是在庭院里到处被绊到。

The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. 最好的部分是教练没能讲完，所以明天我又将逃过一劫。

Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class. 在我从余下的课里解放出来以前，我根本不去在乎后天他们就要让我拿上球拍了。