访谈录 Interview 2007-07-14&07-16, 做妈妈并不开心（在线收听）

This morning, on Today's Woman, the stress of motherhood. If you are a mother, feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities on your play, well, you are not alone. A new study finds that for many women the joys of motherhood are being challenged by the hard work of raising a family. Here is NBC's Lisa Daniels.

Leave it to Beaver.

For years, Hollywood had only one way of portraying a mother---show her smiling. Smiling when cleaning the house, smiling when serving breakfast, smiling after resolving family conflicts. (Well, don't worry about it, dinner will be ready in a minute, maybe my lamb jobs will help.)

(It's all different today.)

But sadly, these days the smile of real life mom seems to be vanishing. In a recent survey of more than a thousand moms, a stunning 47% admitted they are the least happy person in the household, unhappier than dads, sons and daughters. I think the study is significant. This is a reminder of how much stress mothers are under.

How much stress? Thirty three percent of the moms surveyed said they are overwhelmed, having too many jobs to do at home. Chores like cooking and washing the dishes, and making the beds, and not just theirs but their kids' and doing the laundry for everyone in the family. All of them are trying to maintain their sanity. So can happy moms relate to these unhappy numbers? You bet. Over coffee, these real life moms explained why.

Coz you just don't come first anymore. You really don't. My son comes first, my husband comes first, work comes first, everyone comes first and I come last.

If you get me on a day where we have a rough night, because she is teasing and she is crying and she is up and we are both up. Then I'm exhausted and tired and cranky.

It's 24/7. Even when you put your baby to bed, you are thinking about your baby and wondering about your baby, how your baby is doing?

If you, as the woman, don't say what your needs are, and when you need it, then sure she is gonna feel less happy.

But it isn't all bad news for moms; some experts believe moms do get some satisfaction from their complex roles.

This is a double-edged sword. Really, we take on the responsibility, but if, if we were able to give it up to somebody, we wouldn't wanna do it.

Still experts point out even moms need a break. And if family members helped her out more at home, well, that will certainly bring a smile to mom's face. For Today, Lisa Daniels NBC News, New York.

Judiff Sales is a clinical psychologist. Juce, good morning. (Good morning.)

Look at the graphic, I think, that show(s) us why women are really upset there. Not enough time, worry over money, feeling overworked, feeling taken for granted, and (we), I think women understand why we are upset. The question is what we are gonna do about it? (Right.) And you've got some very strong suggestions.

Well, so first, 64% of women feel overworked, the to-do list is endless and you need to accept. It will never end, you will never get to the bottom of that list. But if you do two things, add yourself to the list and share the load. Add yourself to the list, put something for yourself in that top priority, so that it’s not all giving, giving, giving. Give your family a chance, to be received, and give to you. That's what share the load means. And it might be everybody over ten does his or her own laundry.

I know what people who are listening right now who are mothers with ho(me), with kids at home, they think I don't have time, I don't have time to go and take the photography class; I don't have time, you know, to go (to)have lunch with my girlfriends; I don't have time to walk out for an hour a week.

Because I feel like, and in fact, I am in the business of making my family happy. That is moms' job description. So if mom remembers that a happy family starts with a less stressed, happier mom (you know what, that is the point), that's the gift for your kids. When you take care of yourself, even one evening a week, you are giving the gift especially to your daughters of seeing that moms are valued and people, too. Keep some balance, we're all about balance.

That's probably the message, we are probably seeing deeper from most women is to, you say, to you, look, I want you, my son, I want you, my daughter, to see how a mom should be and she shouldn't be harried over work, stressed out, unhappy. I mean, really, that would be, that's probably a great roadmap for, for, for women to understand that there is, they need to make a change.

I think it's, needs the second point to, 30% of the women in the study talked about feeling taken for granted. And that does not just come with the territory. We have to teach appreciation, we teach the family, this is how you notice each other. Maybe go around every Sunday evening, you'd say, I wanna thank you for what you did for me this week and you teach your kids to thank you to (to) notice. Like look at a fine art, you are looking at a fine mother; you have to be taught to see.

So not nag appreciation, teach appreciation. And you know, by the time, they are, my son is now 12 and my daughter is 14, and they are appreciative now. It sort of in those early years, (Oh~There is tough..) itbecomes really tough, right?

Well, you begin to see the fruits of your labor, it is labor early. So it is more stressful for moms with the younger kids gets better. (So the bottom line, it gets better, gets better.) right.

But you know, the big question is sharing the responsibilities. That's the big question. We have to say to our guys, our husbands, right? Anybody else we have a family, whoever else, house, we have in our house. But to say in a way, that make them feel positive. We think they can read our minds, and they can't. (They can't.)So what's the message, how do we say it to?

OK, so if you have a husband, in particular, and he thinks, he wants to say he values you so he comes into the kitchen maybe squeeze your body. And he is thinking yeah, I just told her I love her. No, you wanna explain to him, here is how you could show me that you wanna reduce my stress. You see the laundry basket, it would help me if you picked it up; Notice how I have been working with the kids on the violin. If you said to me: Hey! The kids are getting better. That's a part of my backing, kinda makes me interested.

And when he dose that, appreciate him to give him a big kiss.

Exactly. It's happened.

Juce Sales, thank you so much this morning. Some good advice, hopefully we have some people this morning...

Thank you!
  原文地址：http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/fangtanlu/44198.html