Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? 你有没有注意到你会被和你有共同点的人所吸引?

This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably be attracted to people that are similar to you. 这就是所谓的吸引准则，你会不可避免的被和你相似的人吸引进入你的生活。

We don’t need to look far beyond our close friends to understand that we are drawn to people with similar interests. 我们在朋友圈中就能看出我们会被和我们有共同爱好的人吸引。

So, how can you use this natural tendency to your advantage in all of your relationships? 所以你怎么把这一自然趋势当成优势用在你的人际关系中呢?

Two key methods come to mind: 请记住两个关键的方法

Become aware of activities, interests and relationships you may have in common with people and pay particular attention during conversations. 留心你们共同的活动、兴趣和人际关系，尤其是在交谈中特别关注下。

You may both have children, you may both work in the same part of town, you may both have a son who plays soccer, or you may both like Thai food. 你们可能都有孩子，在同一个地段上班，都有一个踢足球的儿子，或者都喜欢泰国菜。

Throughout my career I have made it a point of asking people questions with the goal of identifying things we have in common. 通过畅谈职业我问一些问题用以辨认我们是否有共同点。

Once I identify something we have in common, I transition the conversation to that subject. 一旦发现有共同点，我会把话题转移过去，

When I do, I almost immediately feel them connecting with me. 当我这么做时，我几乎立刻感到他们向我靠近了。

The second method is to model people. What do I mean? 效仿他人。这是什么意思呢?

Modeling is a technique to mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others. 它是反映或匹配他人非口头或口头交流的一种手段。

As an example, when I am around people who talk softly, then I moderate my voice and talk softly. 拿个例子来说吧，当我身处一群话语轻柔的人中，我会减轻语调和语速，

If they talk slowly, then I will do my best to match their speed and talk slowly. 如若他们说话很慢，我就会尽量匹配他们的语速，说话也慢下来，

If they lean back in their chair, then I will casually lean back. 如若他们靠椅而坐，我也会随意的靠椅而坐，

If their legs are crossed, then I will cross my legs. 他们要是把腿交叉起来，我也会这样。