If you are old enough to read this postcast, I am sure you have experienced what it feels like to have people talk behind your back. 如果你老了读这篇文章,我相信你经历了背后有人议论的感觉。

When this happens to you, how does it make you feel towards the person who spoke poorly of you? 当这一切发生的时候,对待说你坏话的人你是什么感受。

What we say about others reflects on our own character. 我们谈论别人反映了我们自己的性格。

Specifically, when we speak unfavorably of others, it not only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also damages our credibility and reputation in the process. 具体地说,当我们说他人不好时,它不仅伤害了我们说的人,也在这个过程中损害我们的信誉和声誉。

Richard Carlson put it this way: " When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical." 理查德·卡尔森这样说:"当我们判断或批评另一个人,对那人没说什么,只是说一些关于我们自己的需要是至关重要的。

When we speak negatively about someone else, others often perceive it as a ploy for our own personal gain. 当我们消极地谈论别人,别人一般认为它作为我们自己的个人利益的策略。

When our words persuade others to our point of view as to the faults and shortcomings of someone who is not present, we are taking unfair advantage of that person. 当我们的一面之词成功让别人相信不在场的某人的确有某种不足或缺点，我们是在欺负对方。

This holds true whether we're talking about an individual, a group, or a business. 无论我们讨论的是个人、一个团队或者企业。

For example, last week, I was in my local supermarket picking up a bag of ice. 例如,上周,我在超市买了一袋冰。

I took a shortcut through one of the empty lanes to get to the service desk since I was only purchasing one item. 因为我只购买一个，我通过一个快捷的空车道去服务台。

A cashier happened to be in that lane and said he could help me. 收银员碰巧在车道,说他可以帮助我。

I told him I didn't realize his lane was open because he was standing off to the side. 我告诉他我不知道他的车道是开放的,因为他站在旁边。

He proceeded to tell me about the "stupid policies" of the store. 他开始告诉我商店的"愚蠢的政策"。

He ranted about various things during my purchase and spoke nothing but ill of his employer. 在我购买的时候，他对各种事情咆哮,特别是他老板的坏话。

All the time he was unloading his personal dissatisfaction, I was questioning his motives and forming my own impression of him-and it wasn't a good one! 他一直在发泄他个人的不满,这使我质疑他的动机,形成对他并不是一个好的的印象!

I immediately summed him up as an inconsiderate employee who failed to see himself as a store representative with an obligation to act and speak accordingly. 我立刻总结他作为一个不体贴的员工未能看到自己是一个商店代表相应义务的行为和合理说话。

It is also important to keep in mind that where your attention goes, so goes your emotional energy. 同样重要的是要记住,你的注意力在情绪上关注在哪里。

Focus on positive things and your life will be positive; focus on negative things and your life will be negative. 集中在积极的事物,你的人生将会积极;关注负面的东西,你的生活将是负面的。

When you say destructive things about others, your emotional energy is also negatively affected. 当你说其他不好的事情,你的情感能量也是负面影响。