第一条：生活本不公平；要学会适应。普通青少年每天使用“这不公平”句子8.6次。你是从你的父母那里学来的，他们经常这样说以至于你认为他们一定是最理想化的一代人。当他们开始从自己的孩子那里听到这些的时候，他们会要意识到这第一条规则。(因为你管不了它)

　　The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

　　This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

　　第二条：世人不会在乎你的自尊。没有成就之前，别指望得到别人的尊重。这也许让你感到震惊。通常，当过强的自尊心遇到现实的时候，孩子们就会抱怨说这不公平。（参见第一条规则）(因为你越强调自尊，越对你不利)

　　You will NOT make 60 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president or have a car phone, either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

　　第三条：刚中学毕业就别指望年薪能拿6万美元；也别指能望这时就能当上公司的副总，或者有车载电话。甚至，你或许不得不穿着普通的工作服。

　　If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

　　第四条：如果你认为自己的老师过于严厉，等你有了老板再这样说。老板没有任职期限，所以他才显得急躁而挑剔。如果你把事情搞砸了，他可不会在乎你的感受。(你要悄悄地振作起来，重新奋起)

　　Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

　　They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

　　第五条：烙汉堡牛肉饼不会有损你的尊严。你的祖父母们对此有一个另外的说法，他们称之为机遇。他们不会为挣到的工资太少而感到抬不起头。让他们感到尴尬的是整个周末坐着大谈柯特·科本。

　　It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

　　第六条：你的父母们并没有错。如果你做错了，你就应当自己承担责任。与此相反的说法有“我的生活就是这样”，“你又不是我的老板”，以及你们这一代人油嘴滑舌的其它说法。一到18岁，你就得自己买单了。不要抱怨，不然你就会像个婴儿潮时代出生的人一样，只会怨天尤人。

　　Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

　　第七条：你出生之前，你的父母并非像现在这样乏味。他们之所以变成这个样子是因为他们一直在为你买单，给你洗衣服，听你自吹自擂。所以，如果你想通过消灭你父母那一辈的寄生虫来拯救热带雨林的话，先去整理自己房间里的衣柜吧。

　　Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

　　第八条：你的学校或许已经不再区分好学生和坏学生，但生活并非如此。有些学校已经没有了所谓不及格这件事。只要你想要正确答案，他们无数次的告诉你。没有不及格，没有优秀毕业生，就是怕伤害有些人的感受。当然，这与现实生活没有丝毫相似之处。（参见第一条、第二条和第四条）。

　　Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summer off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few employers are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

　　第九条：生活是没有学期之分，不会有暑假。甚至复活节假日也没有。他们期望你每天上班，每天八小时。你别指望每隔10个星期就能彻底休息一次。工作就是这样日复一日。工作时，老板很少对培养你的自我表达能力或帮助你发现自我感兴趣。几乎没有老板会相信自我实现这类屁话。（参见第一条和第二条）

　　Television is NOT real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

　　第十条：电视里不是真实生活，你的生活也不是情景剧。你的问题并非都能在30分钟内解决（还要减去广告时间）。现实生活中，人们不得不离开咖啡馆，赶快要上班。你的朋友不会像詹妮弗·安妮斯顿那样生性活泼、通情达理。

　　Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. We all could.

　　第十一条：善待书呆子，很可能将来老板就是这么样的人。我们都有这种可能。

　　Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

　　第十二条：抽烟不会使你看起来很酷，它只会让你看起来像笨蛋。下次去闲逛时，观察一下一个11岁的孩子嘴里叼着烟屁的样子，那就是你在任何20岁以上的人眼里的形象。同样如此的是那些把头发染成紫色或身上带着丁零当啷饰物以“彰显自己个性”的那些人。

　　You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

　　第十三条：你不会长生不老。（参见第十二条）如果放荡生活、早死夭折而剩下个美艳的尸首给你留下浪漫的印象，那你明显近来没有在正常室温的条件下见到过任何一个你的同龄人。

　　Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

　　第十四条：还是尽情享受现在的一切吧。固然父母让你头疼，学校让你不爽，生活总是不给力。但总有一天你会认识到当一个孩子是多么快乐美好的事。也许你应该从现在就开始。不谢！