that I should be fired,  我应该被解雇,

have my medical license taken away,  我的医生执照应该被吊销,

that I should go back to my own country.  我应该回到自己的国家。

My email got hacked.  我的邮箱被入侵了。

In a discussion forum for other doctors,  在一个其他医生开设的论坛上

someone took credit for "Twitter-bombing" my account.  有人轰炸我的推特账户, 而且还得到了其他人的赞赏。

Now, I didn't know if this was a good or bad thing,  当时, 我不知道是一件好事还是坏事,

but then came the response:  但是接着有人回复了:

"Too bad it wasn't a real bomb. 可惜不是真的炸弹。

I never thought that I would do something that would provoke this level of anger among other doctors.  我从来没有想到过我做的事情能激起其他医生们这种程度的愤怒。

Becoming a doctor was my dream.  成为一个医生曾是我的梦想。

I grew up in China,  我在中国长大,

and my earliest memories are of being rushed to the hospital because I had such bad asthma that I was there nearly every week.  我最早的记忆是被匆忙送到医院因为我有很严重的哮喘, 以至于当时几乎每周都在那里。

I had this one doctor, Dr. Sam, who always took care of me.  我有一个总是照顾我的医生, 山姆医生。

She was about the same age as my mother.  她当时和我的妈妈一个年纪。

She had this wild, curly hair,  她有一头狂乱的卷发,

and she always wore these bright yellow flowery dresses.  而且她总是穿着一条明黄色的花裙子。

She was one of those doctors who,  她是那些医生中的一个,

if you fell and you broke your arm,  如果你跌倒并摔伤了胳膊,

she would ask you why you weren't laughing because it's your humerus. Get it?  她会问你是为什么不笑因为那是你的肱骨（与搞笑同音）, 明白吗?

See, you'd groan,  你会痛得哇哇叫,

but she'd always make you feel better after having seen her.  但是在见到她之后她总是会让你感觉很好。

Well, we all have that childhood hero that we want to grow up to be just like, right?  我们所有人都有我们想长大后成为的儿时英雄, 对吗?

Well, I wanted to be just like Dr. Sam.  我想成为像山姆的医生。

When I was eight, my parents and I moved to the U.S.,and ours became the typical immigrant narrative.  当我八岁的时候, 我的父母和我搬到了美国,我们成为了典型的移民家庭。

My parents cleaned hotel rooms and washed dishes and pumped gas so that I could pursue my dream.  我的父母去清理酒店房间、 洗盘子和给瓦斯充气来让我追逐我的梦想。

Well, eventually I learned enough English,  最后, 我学了足够的英语,

and my parents were so happy the day that I got into medical school and took my oath of healing and service.  我的父母很开心对于我进入医学院学习, 并为治疗服务宣下了誓言。

But then one day, everything changed.  但是有一天, 所有的事情都变了。

My mother called me to tell me that she wasn't feeling well,  我的妈妈打电话和我说 她感觉不是很好,

she had a cough that wouldn't go away, she was short of breath and tired.  她得的咳嗽一直没有好 她喘不过气而且一直很疲累。

Well, I knew that my mother was someone who never complained about anything.  我知道我的妈妈是那种 从来不向他人抱怨的人。

For her to tell me that something was the matter,  所以当她告诉我她觉得不对劲的时候,

I knew something had to be really wrong.  我就知道事情不妙了。

And it was:  结果：

We found out that she had stage IV breast cancer,  我们发现她已经到了乳腺癌四期,

cancer that by then had spread to her lungs, her bones, and her brain.  癌细胞当时已经扩散到她的肺,骨头和大脑里。

My mother was brave, though, and she had hope.  我的妈妈是勇敢的, 她一直抱有希望。

She went through surgery and radiation,  她经历了手术和放射治疗,

and was on her third round of chemotherapy when she lost her address book.  在她在进行第三轮的化疗的时候她弄丢了她的通讯薄。

She tried to look up her oncologist's phone number on the Internet and she found it, but she found something else too.  她想从网上找到她的肿瘤科医生的电话她找到了, 并且也找到了一些其他的东西。

On several websites,  在一些网站上,

he was listed as a highly paid speaker to a drug company,  他是一家药物公司高薪聘请的代言人，

and in fact often spoke on behalf of the same chemo regimen that he had prescribed her.  而且, 事实上经常为他给我妈定的化疗方案作代表宣传。

She called me in a panic,  她很慌张的给我打电话,

and I didn't know what to believe.  我不知道该相信什么。

Maybe this was the right chemo regimen for her,  可能为她做的化疗方案是对的,

but maybe it wasn't.  但是也可能不是,

It made her scared and it made her doubt.  这使她非常害怕并产生怀疑。

When it comes to medicine,  当我们遇到药物问题时,

having that trust is a must,  这种信任非常重要,

and when that trust is gone, then all that's left is fear.  当信任失去了, 那么剩下的就只有害怕了。

There's another side to this fear.  这份恐惧也有着另外一面。

As a medical student, I was taking care of this 19-year-old who was biking back to his dorm when he got struck and hit,run over by an SUV.  作为一个医学院的学生, 我一直照顾一个19岁的骑自行车回他的宿舍的路上被撞倒, 卡在一辆越野车里的人。

He had seven broken ribs,  他有七根断掉的肋骨，

shattered hip bones,  破裂的臀部骨头，

and he was bleeding inside his belly and inside his brain.  他的腹部和脑袋一直在流血。

Now, imagine being his parents who flew in from Seattle, 2,000 miles away,  现在，想象一下他的父母要从2000英里外的西雅图飞过来,

to find their son in a coma.  为了去见正在昏迷的儿子。

I mean, you'd want to find out what's going on with him, right?  我意思是， 他们真的想找出 到底发生了什么在他的身上？

They asked to attend our bedside rounds where we discussed his condition and his plan,  他们要求去参加我们的查房,听取我们的诊疗经过。

which I thought was a reasonable request,  我认为是个合理的请求。

and also would give us a chance to show them how much we were trying and how much we cared.  同时也给我们一个机会去向他们展示我们有多努力和关心,

The head doctor, though, said no.  尽管主治医生说不行。

He gave all kinds of reasons.  他给了很多方面的原因。

Maybe they'll get in the nurse's way.  可能他们会妨碍护士的工作.

Maybe they'll stop students from asking questions.  可能他们会阻止学生问问题。