But I've come to feel that I love the children I had so much that I don't want to imagine a life without them. 但我觉得我太爱孩子们了，我不愿想象没有他们的生活。

I recognize the pain they caused to others, for which there can be no forgiveness, 我承认他们对其他人造成的痛苦是不可饶恕的，

but the pain they caused to me, there is, she said. 但我能宽恕他们对我造成的痛苦。她说。

So while I recognize that it would have been better for the world if Dylan had never been born,I've decided that it would not have been better for me. 所以虽然我承认，如果迪伦未曾出现在这个世界上，世界会更美好，但我认为那样对我并非更有好处。

I thought it was surprising how all of these families had all of these children with all of these problems,problems that they mostly would have done anything to avoid, 令人惊讶的是，这些家庭有这么多子女教育的问题，这些问题又是他们常常不惜代价去避免的，

and that they had all found so much meaning in that experience of parenting. 但她们都发现养儿育女的经验，很有意义。

And then I thought, all of us who have children love the children we have, with their flaws. 然后我想，我们这些有孩子的人，不管孩子如何，我们都疼爱无比。

If some glorious angel suddenly descended through my living room ceiling and offered to take away the children I have and give me other, better children-more polite, funnier, nicer, smarter-I would cling to the children I have and pray away that atrocious spectacle. 如果带着光环的天使突然从客厅天花板降落，提议要带走我的孩子还给我一个更好的孩子，更有礼貌，风趣，友善，聪明，我会紧抓住我自己的孩子，祈祷残忍地事情不要发生。

And ultimately I feel that in the same way that we test flame-retardant pajamas in an inferno to ensure they won't catch fire when our child reaches across the stove, 我最终明白，就如同我们在火焰中测试防火睡衣以确保孩子手伸到炉子上时不会着火，

so these stories of families negotiating these extreme differences reflect on the universal experience of parenting, 这些处理特殊情况的家庭的故事反映了普世的育儿经验，

which is always that sometimes you look at your child and you think,where did you come from? 有时候你看着孩子，心里想，你从哪里来？

It turns out that while each of these individual differences is siloed-there are only so many families dealing with schizophrenia, 尽管他们各自面对不同的境况，只有一些家庭有精神分裂症患者，

there are only so many families of children who are transgender, 只有一些家庭的孩子做了变性手术，

there are only so many families of prodigies, 只有一些家庭出现神童，

who also face similar challenges in many ways, 在许多方面也面临着相似的挑战，

there are only so many families in each of those categories, 每个类别也仅有一些家庭，

but if you start to think that the experience of negotiating difference within your family is what people are addressing, 但如果你开始思考那些处理家人间分歧的经验是出现在每个人生活中的，

then you discover that it's a nearly universal phenomenon. 然后你发现这是一个普遍的现象。