We judge men primarily by their professional success and send them a clear message that personal achievements are insufficient for them to be valued or feel fulfilled. 通常我们在评价一位男性时，首先是看他们的事业成就，随后又明显地表现出家庭成就对他们来说不那么重要，或者说并非主要成就感的来源。

This mind-set leads to a grown man bragging on the soccer field that he left his postpartum wife and newborn at the hospital to go kick a ball. 正是这种思维定势促使一个成年男人在球场上夸口，说自己可以照常踢球，而不用去管产房里的老婆和刚出生的孩子。

Making gender matters even worse, men's success is viewed not just in absolute terms, but often in comparison to their wives'. 制造性别差异化甚至会带来更糟的结果。男性的成功不仅会被用绝对的数字来衡量，而且还常被拿来和他们的妻子作比较。

The image of a happy couple still includes a husband who is more professionally successful than the wife. 在对幸福婚姻形象的描述中，丈夫的事业常常比妻子的更成功。

If the reverse occurs, it's perceived as threatening to the marriage. 如果情况刚好相反，他们的婚姻就会被认为受到了威胁。

People frequently pull me aside to ask sympathetically, "How is Dave? Is he okay with, you know, all your success?" 人们常常把我拉到一旁同情地问：“戴夫怎么样了？你知道，他会不会介意你的……成功？”

Dave is far more self-confident than I am, and given his own professional success, these comments are easy for him to brush off. 实际上，戴夫远比我自信多了，而且他自己在事业上也很成功，他丝毫不去理会这些评论。

More and more men will have to do the same, since almost 30 percent of U.S. working wives now outearn their husbands. 像戴夫这样的男性会越来越多，因为在美国近乎30%的职场女性比自己的丈夫收入要高。

As that number continues to grow, I hope the whispering stops. 这些数字还在增长，我希望未来人们跟某位丈夫提到他妻子的成功时不再小声低语。

Dave and I can laugh off concerns about his supposedly fragile ego, but for many women, this is no laughing matter. 有些人会替戴夫脆弱的自我担心，我们俩对此都一笑了之。但在很多女人看来，这并不好笑。