She was wealthy and successful and gave millions to the church, but after she confessed to being gay and in love with a woman, she says, the controversial group waged a campaign to destroy her 她很有钱，也很成功，给教会捐了几百万，但是她承认自己是同性恋并爱上了一个女人之后，这个有争议的组织发动了一场运动来摧毁她

Eight years ago Michelle LeClair, a mother of four living in los angeles, was earning millions of dollars a year as the founder of one of the nation's most successful woman-owned life-insurance firms—but her life was the opposite of picture-perfect. 八年前，身为四个孩子母亲的米歇尔·勒克莱尔(Michelle LeClair)住在洛杉矶。她创办了美国最成功的女性经营的人寿保险公司之一，每年能挣到数百万美元。但是她的生活却一点不完美。

The self-described "poster girl for Scientology" had fallen in love with a woman, and, she says, the controversial church did not approve. 这位自称“山达基的海报女郎”的人爱上了一个女人，她说，这个有争议的教会不赞成。

She claims that after she defected in 2010, the church waged a brutal campaign against her. 她表示在2010年脱离该组织后，教会对她进行了残酷的打击。

It's been a little more than a year since her nightmare ended, but she still pinches herself most mornings just to make sure. 从她的噩梦结束到现在已经一年多了，但她早上还是经常会掐自己的脖子，只是为了确认一下。

"When I open my eyes," she says, "I catch myself waiting for that heaviness to set in. Then I realize—nothing needs to set in. This is my reality now." “每当我睁开眼睛，”她说，“我发现自己在等待那种沉重的感觉到来。然后我意识到——没有什么需要到来。这就是现在的现实。”

In her new memoir Perfectly Clear, LeClair, 45, shares the story of her rise within Scientology, her dawning awareness (while married to a man) that she was a lesbian and the woman who helped her break free. 45岁的勒克莱尔在她的新回忆录《非常清楚》中，讲述了她在山达基教中的崛起，她(在嫁给一个男人时)开始意识到自己是女同性恋，以及帮助她挣脱束缚的女人。

"If I had not met Tena," she says of her partner, Tena Clark, "I'd still be in the church. She saved my life, my children's life. And she woke me up." “如果我没有遇见特纳，”她说到她的伴侣特纳·克拉克，“我还会在教会里。她救了我的命，我孩子的命。她唤醒了我。”

Clark, 64, a successful music producer who knew nothing about Scientology before coming involved with LeClair in 2010, says she had her own awakening while watching LeClair lose everything. 现年64岁的克拉克是一位成功的音乐制作人，在2010年认识莱考尔之前，她对山达基一无所知。她说看着勒克莱尔失去一切，自己也在觉醒。

"I'd never heard of a religion like this that seemed so focused on hate and revenge," recalls Clark. 克拉克回忆道：“我从未听说过这样的宗教，如此专注于仇恨和复仇。”

"I stood beside her. It wasn't always easy, but that's what you do when you love someone." “我支持她。这并不容易，但当你爱一个人的时候，你就会这么做。”

In 2015 the pair moved from Los Angeles to rural Georgia, where they now live with LeClair's children (Sage, 17, Savannah, 11, and twins Jadon and London, 9) from her first marriage. 2015年，两人从洛杉矶搬到了乔治亚州的乡村，现在还住在那里，和勒克莱尔第一次结婚时的孩子们(17岁的塞奇, 11岁的萨凡纳，以及9岁的双胞胎杰登和伦敦)住在一起。

Now that her years-long battle with Scientology is behind her, LeClair hopes it will prove to be about something bigger than herself. 现在，她与山达基教长达数年的斗争已经过去，勒克莱尔希望这会是一件比她自己更重要的事情。

"If my story helps one person out there get out," she says, "then everything I endured was worth it." “如果我的故事能帮助人走出困境，”她说，“那么我所忍受的一切都是值得的。”

In this exclusive excerpt from her memoir, she traces a journey that began when she was a teenager and her mother, Terri, found a new job. 这段引文摘录自她的回忆录，其中她回忆起，十几岁时她的母亲特里找到了一份新工作，从此开始一段旅程。

(The church disputes much of LeClair's account; its rebuttal also follows.) (教会对勒克莱尔的说法提出了异议；其反驳在后文。)

Mom went to work as a consultant for a company called Sterling Management, where she sold management-training programs to health-care professionals. 母亲在斯特林管理公司(Sterling Management)做顾问，向医疗专业人士推销管理培训项目。

She was also taking self-improvement courses. She adopted a strange unemotional way of speaking and began using expressions I didn't understand. 她也在学习自我提高的课程。她开始说话奇奇怪怪，不带感情，开始使用我听不懂的表达方式。

She was "hatting" (training) for a job. She wanted to improve her "beingness" (herself). 她正在为找工作进行“帽子训练”。她想改善她的“存在”(自我)。