I don't know.If we're going to start a fantasy sword collection and I've long thought we should  is this really the sword to start with? 不知道 如果我们要开始收藏奇幻剧中的刀剑 虽然我很久前就认为应该收藏 但真的要从这把开始吗

What did you have in mind? 那你想从哪把开始

Well, off the top of my head, I'd have to go with Excalibur. 我会不假思索地说  亚瑟王的神剑

It gives you the right to rule England. 它能赋予你统治英格兰的权力

It would be a replica of a movie prop. 那肯定是电影道具的复制品

Fair enough. 也有道理

It'd give you the right to rule a replica of England. 那就是赋予你统治英格兰复制品的权力

Well, they don't have an Excalibur here,so what do you want to do? 这里没有亚瑟王的神剑 你觉得该怎么办

Mm. Tough decision. 真是艰难的抉择

There's no weaponry from Lord of the Rings forged in a Chinese sweatshop? 这里没有中国血汗工厂伪造的那种 《指环王》里的武器吗

Just Bilbo Baggins' sword over there. 只有比尔博·巴金斯的剑在那边(《指环王》中魔戒曾经的持有者  霍比特人 )

Two grown men with a hobbit's dagger; wouldn't we look silly? 俩成年男子拿着把霍比特人的短剑  看着不傻吗 (霍比特人  《指环王》中的矮人族)

Okay, let's go for it. 好了  就这把了

Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure. 两位发现了我的小宝贝

Yeah.It's okay, I guess. 是啊 看着还行

Okay? It's magnificent. 什么叫还行  它简直了不起

What do you want for it? 多少钱

Oh, it's hard to put a price on something that's a copy of something that was on pay cable. 很难给本尊出现在付费电视上 其复制品出现在本店里的东西定价

But for my friends, let's say 250? 不过卖给朋友嘛  就二百五吧

Oh, that's pretty steep. 你还真是狮子大开口

Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys. 这可是限量版 只生产了八千把哦

Only 8,000? We're wasting precious time. Buy it. 只有八千把 我们在浪费宝贵时间  快买下

Hang on.Can you do any better? 等等 还能少点吗

Are you kidding? I'm already giving you the friends and family discount. 开什么玩笑 这已经是亲友折扣了

Oh, did you hear that? We're getting the friends and family discount.We are honored and we will take it. 听到了吗 人家都给我们亲友折扣了 我们很荣幸  这就买了

Slow down. Two hundred. 慢着 二百块

What are you doing? 250 is already the discounted price.Will you shut up? 你在做什么啊 二百五已经是折扣价了 闭嘴吧你

Tell you what, I'll go 235. 这样吧  二百三十五好了

Nope. Maybe another time. 那算了  下次买吧

Okay, 225   my final offer. 好吧  二百二十五  这是最终报价

Take it, take it. 买下吧  买下吧

Two hundred. 二百块

Man, you're killing me! 天  你是要杀了我

Killing you? I can't breathe. 杀你?  我都喘不过气了

210, and I'm losing money. 二百一吧  亏本卖了

Oh, now, we can't let him lose money, Leonard. I'm so sorry. 不能欺人太甚  莱纳德  太对不起了

210 and you throw in the Iron Man helmet. 二百一  再送个《钢铁侠》里的头盔

Are you crazy?That helmet's signed by Robert Downey Jr. 你疯了吗 那头盔上有小罗伯特·唐尼的签名(《钢铁侠》主演)

So? 那又怎样

Okay, if you're going to question the importance of an actor's signature on a plastic helmet from a movie based on a comic book,then all of our lives have no meaning! 好吧  如果你要质疑 一个来自漫画改编的电影  还有演员签名的塑料头盔的重要性 那我们这群人的生活  还有什么意义可言

Ok, fine.Just the sword, 210. 就这把剑  二百一

Thank you.I can eat meat this week. 谢谢 这周有肉吃啦

See that? I just saved us 40 bucks. 看到没 我帮我们省了四十块

I've long said, what you lack in academic knowledge you make up for in street smarts. 我早就说过  你学术知识的匮乏 全弥补在市井小民的小聪明上了

You want me to wrap it? 要包起来吗

No, it's okay.I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest. 不用了 我要用它直刺我朋友胸口

Hey, Stuart. 嗨  斯图尔特

Ah, hey, Wil. 嗨  威尔

Hello, Wil Wheaton. 哈罗  威尔·惠顿

Hi, Sheldon.Nice sword. 嗨  谢尔顿 好剑

It's part of my sword collection.Do you have a sword collection? 这是我刀剑收藏中的其中一把 你有收藏刀剑吗   没有

No. I'm not surprised. 我一点都不奇怪

Here's the Batman 612 with the Jim Lee alternate cover that you wanted. 这是《蝙蝠侠》第612期 有你想要的吉姆·李重新画的封面 (《蝙蝠侠》作者之一)

Awesome. What do I owe you? 太棒了  多少

40 bucks. 四十块

Sucker.Didn't even ask for the friends and family discount. 笨蛋 他都没要个亲友折扣

Hey, I'm having a party at my house on Friday, and I was hoping you would stop by. 周五我要在家办个派对希望你能来

Will there be girls there? 有女孩子吗

Yeah, of course. 当然有

'Cause there wasn't last time. 上次就没有

There will be girls. 这次肯定有

You guys are invited if you want to come by. 你们想来的话  我也邀请你们哦

Thank you. 谢谢你

All right, great.Later. 好了  非常好 回见

I see what you're doing.You accept an invitation to a party at the home of my sworn enemy,he tells everyone we're going to be there,and when we don't show, he looks the fool.Fiendishly clever. 我知道你的小把戏 你接受了 去我死敌家参加派对的邀请 他就会大肆宣扬  我们俩会去而我们不去  他就成了傻瓜 很坏很聪明

I was actually thinking about going. 我是真的想去

And then declaring the party a fiasco and storming out,leaving him humiliated in front of his guests.Love it. 去了说一句  这派对烂死了  然后摔门而去 让他在客人面前颜面尽失 我喜欢

No, I was gonna grab Raj and Howard and have a good time. 不是  我要带上拉杰和霍华德 我们要好好玩

Oh, great, more guys. 太好了  僧多粥少

It's gonna be another Wil Wheaton sausage fest. 威尔·惠顿又筹办了一个光"棍"派对

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait... 我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……

The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids), 地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang! 数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。

Sheldon, can you grab me a water? 谢尔顿  能给拿瓶水吗

Possibly. 可能可以

Can you or can't you? 到底可不可以

It's not that simple, Leonard. 这事没那么简单  莱纳德

It never is, is it? 什么到你那  都复杂了

At this moment,our relationship exists in two mutually contradictory states.Until you either do not go or go to Wil Wheaton's party,you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. 目前  咱俩的关系 处于两种相互矛盾的状态 在你决定去  或是不去威尔·惠顿的派对之前 你是我的朋友  同时又不是我的朋友

I'm characterizing this phenomenonas Schrodinger's Friendship 我把这个现象称为 薛定谔的友谊.薛定谔的猫是关于量子理论的一个理想实验 

Got it. Can I have my water? 明白了  可以把水给我了吗

Of course.Now get it yourself, you traitor. 当然 自己捡去吧  你这个叛徒

Wait, what is going on? 等一下  这到底是怎么回事

In case you have forgotten,Schrodinger's cat is a thought experiment... 忘了我就再提醒你一下 薛定谔的猫是个理想实验

No, no, I didn't forget.Um, there's this cat in a box and until you open it,it's either dead or alive or both. 不  不  我没忘 他把一只猫装进了盒子  在你打开盒子之前 猫要么死  要么活  要么半死半活

Although, back in Nebraska,our cat got stuck in my brother's camp trunk,and we did not need to open it to know there was all kinds of dead cat in there. 尽管在我内布拉斯卡州的老家 我们家的猫钻进了我哥露营用的行李箱里 我们不用打开就知道 里面肯定装满了各式各样的死猫

Homespun stories, knowledge of physics and a bosom that defies it. You're the whole package, aren't you? 会讲家常小故事  懂点物理 同时还具有傲人的双峰 你还真是全才啊

Sorry I'm late.Uh, I got great news.NASA picked my team's design for the deep field space telescope that's going on the International Space Station this spring. 抱歉  我来晚了 我有好消息要宣布 NASA

选中了我们小组 设计的深空太空望远镜 今春天就要把这个设计用在国际空间站上了 

Howie, that's wonderful!Congratulations! 华仔  这太棒了 恭喜你

It gets better.Someone has to go up with the telescope as a payload specialist,and guess who that someone is. 精彩的还在后头呢 安装的时候还要派一个人 作为装备专家上太空 猜猜他们选中谁了

Muhammad Li. 穆罕默德·李

Who's Muhammad Li? 穆罕默德·李是谁

Muhammad is the most common first name in the world,Li, the most common surname.As I didn't know the answer,I thought that gave me a mathematical edge. 穆罕默德是全球最普遍的名而李则是最普遍的姓氏 因为我不知道答案 但我觉得这么猜  在数学上比较靠谱

It's me, Sheldon.It's me.I'm going up in space! Technically, I'm an astronaut. 他们选中我  谢尔顿 是我 我要上太空了 严格来说  我是宇航员了

That's amazing! 帅呆了

Hang on a second.NASA doesn't have a shuttle anymore.How are you going to get up there? 等会儿 NASA已经没有航天飞机了 你怎么上太空呀

Oh, well, it's really cool.You fly to Moscow, they take you out to Kazakhstan,and then you get into a Russian Soyuz rocket which shoots you into a low earth orbit.Or just sits there on the launch pad because the Kazakhi mafia sold the rocket fuel on the black market. 这个过程就酷了 你先飞到莫斯科  然后他们带你去哈萨克斯坦然后你再登上一个俄罗斯联盟号火箭 直接冲上低空地球轨道 又或是你只能呆坐在火箭发射台上 因为哈萨克黑手党 把火箭燃料都拿到黑市上去卖了

Are those Russian rockets safe? 这些俄罗斯火箭安全吗

Well, I mean, safe as it can be when it was built by the good folks who brought you Chernobyl. 切尔诺贝利事件也是这帮俄罗斯人弄出来的 安全性可见一斑吧

I'd like to propose a toast.The dream to go up into space is one we all share,and Howard's making that a reality.We're all very proud of you.Cheers. 我们大家来敬他一杯吧 我们在座的各位  都有登上太空的梦想 而今天霍华德  实现了这个梦想 我们都以你为傲 干杯

That was a lovely toast.Kudos.    Thank you. 敬酒词说的不错呀  口头表扬一次   谢谢

Simultaneously, a festival of cloying cliche.You sicken me. 与此同时  你的敬酒词也老套得让人反胃 你恶心死我了

You're really quiet.Is everything okay? 你怎么这么安静 没事吧

Fine.Just a little tired. 没事 只是有点累了

I hope not too tired, because I'm feeling particularly masculine right now.All systems go, if you catch my drift. 希望你别太累  因为我现在可是 阳刚十足哦 蓄势待发  你明白我意思吧

I always catch your drift. 我一向明白你意思

All right, well, something's obviously bugging you. What is it? 好吧  你很明显是有心事 到底怎么了

I just can't believe you signed up for the space program without even talking to me. 我只是不敢相信你居然 都不跟我商量就决定上太空了

Oh, I get it.You're worried about me.That is so sweet.You know,  我明白了 你是在担心我 你真是贴心啊  宝贝儿

there's a saying we have at NASA.What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home. 在我们NASA有一句老话 太空英雄之所以成为英雄 是因为他们能平安归来

Just stop talking, Howard. 你就闭嘴吧  霍华德

This isn't the reaction I expected when I told you I was gonna be an astronaut. 我跟你说我要成为宇航员时 我可没想到你会是这么个反应

What did you think was going to happen? 那你以为我会是什么反应

Honestly? Sex. 实话吗  当然是滚床单

Howard！ Do you realize what a big deal this is? What an honor it is to be chosen to go into space? 霍华德 你知道这是多大的事吗 你知道被选中上太空是何等的荣誉吗

Yeah, I get it. I just wish you included me in the decision.We're supposed to be partners. We're supposed to be a team. 我明白 我只是希望你做决定之前能跟我商量一下 咱俩应该是人生搭档 应该是站在同一战线的

I'm sorry. You're right.Okay, let's try this again. 对不起  你说的没错 好吧  咱重头来一次

Bernadette, an opportunity has come up that impacts both of us, and I'd like to discuss it. 伯纳黛特  我现在遇到一个千载难逢的机遇 事关咱俩  所以我想跟你商量一下

Okay. 好吧

I've been offered a chance to go up to the International Space Station for three weeks.What are your thoughts on that? 我被NASA选中 要去国际空间站待上三个星期 你怎么想

Well, first of all, thank you for including me in the decision making process. 首先  我想谢谢你 在做决定之前想到要跟我商量

Hey, we're a team. 那是当然  咱俩可是一个阵营的

So, what do you think? 那说说你的想法吧

No. 不行

No? 不行

No. 不行

Why not? 为什么不行

Howard, my father was a police officer.We never knew from one night to the next if he was going to come home alive. 霍华德  我父亲是个警察 我们家人每天都提心吊胆的 不知道他晚上能不能活着回到家

It was horrible. And I don't want to live that way with you. 那感觉糟透了 我不希望跟你以后的生活也是这个样子

Hey, my father abandoned me and my mother when I was 11.We never saw him again. 我十一岁的时候 我爸就抛弃了我和我妈 我们从那以后再没见过他

Oh, boo hoo, you're not going to space! 说啥都没用  反正我就是不许你上太空