This isn't a terrifying bird like a swan or a goose. 这鸷鸟肯定不像天鹅和家鹅那么吓人

It's just a blue jay. 一只蓝松鸦而已

That's a pretty big blue jay. 还是只挺大的蓝松鸦

One...Two...Three. 一 二 三

Go! Shoo! Amscray, irdbay! 去去  死鸟  快走开

Bird in the apartment!Bird in the apartment! 鸟飞进屋子了 鸟飞进屋子了

No! 不要啊

So it is an amazing documentary. 这部纪录片太赞了

They need the electricity from the dam, but at the same time,they want to preserve the environment. 他们急需建座大坝来发电  但同时他们也想保护环境

You're kidding me. 真会过河拆桥呀

Uh, can I see you for a sec over here? 你能稍微过来一下吗

Oh, yeah. Sure. Just one sec? 当然可以  等我一下哦

No problem. 没问题

What's up? 有事吗

I know what you're doing. 我知道你在耍什么小把戏

What am I doing? 耍什么

You're going out of your way to talk to that guy because I said we weren't on a date. 你千方百计地勾搭那哥们儿聊天 就因为我说咱俩没在约会

No, I'm talking to him because he's cute. 才没有  我跟他聊是因为他很帅

Come on, he's not that cute. 拜托  他哪有那么帅

Yes, he is.With his dorky Tshirt and his little hipster glasses. 不  他就是很帅 看那件傻傻的T恤和那副潮潮的小眼镜

I wear dorky Tshirts and glasses. 我也穿傻傻的T恤  也戴着小眼镜

Yes, but when you're tall and have great cheekbones,you're doing it ironically. 是呀  等你个子和颧骨都高点再说吧 你现在就是人家的反面教材

If that's so, what if I start talking to a girl? 如果这样的话  要是我也去跟女孩子聊天呢

You should! 快去啊

I'm serious. I'll do it. 我是说真的  我真去哦

Good! Go! There are some girls right over there. 去啊  快去啊  那边有好几个漂亮妹子

What are you waiting for? 你怎么还不冲过去

They're in a group. I'm scared. 她们人好多  我好怕怕

Sheldon, what do you expect us to do? 谢尔顿  你指望我俩来干啥

You're biologists.Biology is the study of living things.That's a living thing; get cracking. 你是生物学家 生物就是研究生物的 那就是个生物  开始研究吧

I specialize in microorganisms,and Amy studies brains. 我是搞微生物学的艾米是研究大脑的

Yeah, neither of us minored in birdshooing. 对啊  我俩都没辅修过如何赶鸟

Oh, come now.Your undergraduate work must have included a varmints and critters class. 拜托 你们在本科的时候肯定学过 如何对付讨人嫌的小动物

Come back in, Sheldon, he's not going to hurt you. 进来吧  谢尔顿  他不会伤害你的

He looks friendly. 他看上去好和善的

I think he might be someone's pet. 我觉得他没准儿是谁家的宠物

No, Bernadette, don't be a hero! 不要  伯纳黛特  别逞英雄

Oh, he's a sweetie. 他真可爱

Yes. It's very sweet.Now, slowly and carefully,flush him down the toilet. 对  很可爱 好  现在慢慢地  小心地 把他丢到厕所里冲走

Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it. 谢尔顿  克服这种恐惧的唯一办法 就是参与进来

Just like you did with the mailman. 就像你对付那个邮递员那样

Every year tens of people around the world are killed by birds. 全世界每年都有好几十个人被鸟害死

I'm not going to be another statistic. 我不要为这个统计数据作贡献

Look how sweet he is. Come over and say hi. 你看看他有多可爱  过来打个招呼嘛

Come on.You can do it.Don't be scared. Come on. 来啊 你能行的 别怕 快来

Oh, just pet the bird, you big baby! 快摸一下  你个胆小鬼

I did it! I actually did it. 我做到了 我真的做到了

Okay, now flush him. 好了  可以扔进厕所冲了

So, Leonard, what do you do for fun? 莱纳德  你平时有什么爱好

I'm... let's see. 我  我想想看哈

Hiking. 远足

Karaoke in Koreatown. 去韩国城K歌

Any Jennifer Aniston movie. 看杰尼佛·安妮斯顿的电影

Hey. Sorry I ditched you. 不好意思刚冷落了你

No, it's fine. You can ditch away. Oh, no, no.We said we were going to hang out, let's hang out. 没事没事  你去忙你的吧  没事 不忙了 我们说好一起出来玩的嘛  一起玩吧

It's cool. Go back to Kevin. 没事  你跟凯文玩吧

Oh, he had to leave. 他走了

Interesting. 有意思

So now that he's gone, you want to hang out with me. 所以现在是他走了  你又想跟我玩了

This must be Penny. 这位肯定是佩妮

Yep. 对

I totally get it. 让我茅塞顿开呀

Huh? I'm sorry, get what? 不好意思  哪里塞了

Don't worry about it. You know, there's some guys over there.You should go talk to them. 你别管了  那边有好几个帅哥哥你去跟他们聊聊呗

No, no. I want to know what you told her. 不了  我就想知道你跟她说什么了

That's kind of between me and...Laura.   Laura. 这应该是我和...劳拉  劳拉之间的秘密吧

Oh. Okay, I see.So while he was telling you things,did he mention he owns,not one, but two Star Trek uniforms? 好吧  明白了 他跟你聊天时  有没有提到他拥有不止一件 而是两件星际迷航制服呢

Really? 真的吗

Yeah. Wears them.Not just for Halloween. 真的  还经常穿 不光万圣节哦

Hey, pal. 嘿  伙计

You didn't see me telling Kevin that you thought cold wars were only fought in winter. 我可没告诉凯文你认为冷战只在冬天开战

Okay. Then I'll return the favor, and I won't tell... 好吧  那我就还你人情  不告诉...

Laura. ...   Laura 劳拉  劳拉

that half the dirty movies you own are animated. 你收藏的黄片  一半是动画片

When you were telling Kevin about your acting career,did you mention your longrunning role as "Waitress"in a local production of The Cheese Factory? 你向凯文讲述你的演艺生涯时 有提到你在本土商家芝士工厂内 长期"扮演"女服务生的角色吗

Did you tell her about your lucky asthma inhaler? 那你告诉了她  你有哮喘了吗

Oh, yeah? Spell "asthma." 是吗  那你说说"哮喘"怎么写

As... 都是口字旁...

Take me home. 送我回家

Maybe I'm not done hanging out with... 我还没跟她聊够呢

You're right, it's getting late. 你说得对  太晚了

It's remarkable.All that time spent in fear. And for what? 真是奇了怪了 我居然怕了这么长时间 何必呢

He's magnificent. 他真是太美了

Oh, dear. I just realized I haven't offered you a beverage. 天啊 我刚想起  我还没给你上饮料

Oh, it's just like my grandma with her parrot. 就像我祖母跟她的鹦鹉一样

And after she lost her marbles with her remote control. 尤其在遥控器不好使后  这么喂还能顺便换台

My phone's on the desk over there.Take a picture of us together. 我电话在那边桌上 给我们俩拍张照片

Make it good enough to go on a mug, a mouse pad, and a calendar. 拍好点  我要贴上马克杯  鼠标垫和日历

If you were a dove, I'd call you LoveyDovey. 你要是鸽子  我就叫你爱鸽

Oh. Who am I kidding? 开什么玩笑

This isn't a moment for strict adherence to the literal.You're just my little LoveyDovey, aren't you? 现在就不该拘泥于字面意思 你就是我的爱鸽  不是吗

Guess you gotta have hollow bones to get some sugar around here. 估计你的骨头也是中空的 才能承载这么多甜言蜜语 (鸟儿的骨头是中空的  以利于飞行)

I still think he looks like someone's pet. 我还是觉得他是别人家的宠物

Maybe we should put up posters. 或许我们该去贴失物招领

Yes. It should have a big picture of him,and the words, "Is this your bird? Not anymore." 对  要附上他的一张大照片 还要写上"这是你的鸟吗  现在成我的了"

We're going to have so much fun together.You can carry messages to all my enemies. 我们在一起肯定会很开心 你可以帮我捎口信给我所有的敌人

I can tie a string to your leg and fly you like a kite. 还可以在你腿上系上绳  像放风筝拽着玩

If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow.One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. 你要想收留他  我可以借你个笼子 那笼子以前关的实验猴  踩到香蕉皮 把脖子摔断了

It was both tragic and hysterical. 悲剧和喜剧同时上演

Nonsense. No. LoveyDovey doesn't sleep in a cage.No. LoveyDovey sleeps in his very own nest,which I'm going to get off the windowsill and put in my room. 荒谬 不行  爱鸽才不睡笼子里 爱鸽要睡在他自己的巢里 我要把窗台的巢拿下来  放我房间里

Isn't that right, LD? 对不对呀  爱鸽

No.Where are you going? Come back, LoveyDovey! This is your home now! 别走呀 你要去哪 回来  爱鸽 现在这才是你的家

I already ordered 20 pounds of bird feed off of Amazon! 我已经从亚马逊订了20磅鸟食

He's gone. 他不见了

I'm sorry, Sheldon. 节哀顺变  谢尔顿

How could he do this to me? 他怎么能这么对我呢

Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you! 回来  笨鸟  不然我的爱给谁去

Okay. So... we went out,saw a movie, met some nice people,said horrible things about each other in public...all in all, a pretty magical night. 好了  我们一起出去了 看了电影  认识了不错的人 公开说了一些彼此的坏话 总而言之  真是个神奇的夜晚

Okay, I'm not innocent in all this,but you basically called me stupid, you asthmatic dumbass. 好吧  这事我也有错 但你居然说我笨  你个患哮喘的蠢蛋

I know, III crossed a line.And I'm sorry. 我知道  我是过分了 我很抱歉

No, no, no, hang on. I really mean it. 别走  等等  我是真的很抱歉

And it's not like when we were going out,I'd just apologize for everything so we could end up in bed.This is a 100% sexisoffthetable "I'm sorry." 这并不是像我们以前交往那样 我不是为了跟你滚床单才道歉的 这句"我很抱歉"是纯发自内心  与滚床单无关

All right. Thank you. 好吧  谢谢你

I'm sorry, too. 我也很抱歉

Just to be clear, sex is off the table, right? 我再确认下  滚床单没戏  对吧

Way off. 绝对没戏

Maybe we're not ready to hang out as friends. 也许我们还没准备好像朋友一样出去玩

I don't know. Up until the last part,I was kind of enjoying takecharge Leonard with a little backbone. 我也不知道  其实在事情搞砸之前 我还是很喜欢管着莱纳德 当他的主心骨

Picking the movie, knowing what he wants,a little cocky. 我来选电影  我知道他想要什么 还有点自大

Really? 真的吗

Yeah. 真的

Well, then, I'm putting sex back on the table. 好吧  那就是说滚床单有戏咯

What do you think about that? 你觉得怎么样

Ooh. Maybe I like it. 或许我会喜欢  

You do? Because if that's what you like, I can be that guy.I swear, I'll be anything you want me to be. 是吗 真的  要是你喜欢  我可以恢复原样 我发誓  你让我往东我绝不往西

Good night, Leonard. 晚安  莱纳德

I am such an asthmatic dumbass. 我还真是个患哮喘的蠢蛋

I had a weird night. 我今晚过得很怪怪的

Mine was great. 我过得很好

I'm going to be a mommy! 我要当妈咪了