It's probably for the best. 这样可能更好

For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here 对于很多宅男来说  这里是每周出门的唯一理由

Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay. 这倒提醒我  我今晚有干净的新床单睡了

Well? What do you think of New Comic Book Night? Magic, huh? 怎么样 感觉新漫画书之夜如何 很神奇吧

Sheldon, I'm disappointed. 谢尔顿  我其实很失望

As a brilliant man,you're entitled to a vice. 作为一个天才 你也算数一数二的人物

I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport. 我能理解你经常逛鸦片窑 或是为了好玩去猎杀你的同伴

But this? Lame o. 但是看漫画  逊咖

Well, A) Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art,an medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux, 首先  漫画书通过连环画来讲述故事 这种方式可追溯到一万七千年前 拉斯科洞穴壁画时代

and B) You play the harp. Like that's cool. 其次  你还玩竖琴呢 你以为那很酷吗

Can I help you find anything? 要我帮你找漫画吗

A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device. 有没有描述一个女人的乳房 不能用来当救生装置的漫画

Sorry. Most of the guys who come in here like big boobs. 抱歉  来这里的男生 大部分都喜欢大咪咪

Couple of them have big boobs. 有几个自己的咪咪也挺大的

The new Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out. 卡亚战神出了新的扩展包

A new one? Unbelievable. 又出新的  有没有搞错

They just keep making up more cheesy monsters,slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop. 这帮人老是瞎掰一些新的怪物 把它们印到卡上  一包卖25块钱

It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid. 这是在暗中让没女人的宅男多掏一份税钱

They're not even trying.Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant? 他们真是太不给力了 还记得那个有地狱大象的邪恶撒旦包吗

Why, absurd.What was he, a bad elephant who died and went to hell? 太扯淡了 他算个啥  死了以后下地狱的邪恶大象吗

What could an elephant possibly do 一头大象能干出啥坏事

Wild West and Witches? What kind of loser cares about a showdown between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North? 狂野西部女巫 有哪个白痴会关心 比利小子和北方白袍巫师的决战

A total loser.Obviously, a guy with a six shooter beats an old man with a magic wand. 只有窝囊废才关心 不就是一个手持六发左轮手枪的小子 打败了一个手持魔杖的老人嘛

Well, h hold on. 等等

Uh, what if the wizard casts a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat? 要是那个巫师 在比利小子的牛仔帽上下了困惑头盔咒呢

What? Please! This is Billy the Kid we're talking about. 什么  拜托 我们说的可是比利小子

I mean, the wizard would get shot between the eyes before he could ever get out the words, What the hell is Billy the Kid doing in the mystic realm of Ka'a? 巫师还没来得及说话呢 就已经被爆头了 比利小子究竟去卡亚秘境干嘛

Leonard... 莱纳德

What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy? 谢尔顿和他朋友艾米是啥关系

Are they a couple? 他们是一对吗

Couple of weirdos. Why? 一对怪人倒是真的  怎么了

You interested in Amy? 你对艾米感兴趣吗

Well, I mean, she didn't look through me with soul sucking, ball shriveling hatred and contempt. 我只是觉得她看我的时候 不会觉得我灵魂恶心  胆小如鼠 也不会一脸厌恶和鄙夷

I like that in a woman. 我喜欢这种女人

Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out? 能否帮我问问谢尔顿  我能不能约她出去玩

Sure. I guess. 当然可以

Stuart, settle an argument for us.Who would win, 斯图尔特  帮我们解决下争议 谁会赢

Billy the Kid or the White Wizard? 比利小子还是白袍巫师

If I tell you that,I'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have for the magical, rootin' tootin' low price of $24.95. 我要是告诉你们 我就剥夺了你们玩这个游戏的快乐 现在超低价  只卖24块9毛5哦

I'll take one. 我要一个

Mm... make it two. 那  要两个吧

I hate all of you and myself. Three. 我恨你们和我自己  要三个

I'll ring it up. 我去下单

Like shooting nerds in a barrel. 瓮中捉鳖  易如反掌

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait... 我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……

The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids), 地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang! 数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。

Hey, can I talk to you about something? 我能跟你谈件事吗

It's a little awkward. 有点难开口

I know what this is about. 我知道你要说什么

Given the professional standstill you're at,you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching. 鉴于你事业上的停滞不前 你现在肯定想知道是否应该 放弃科研  专攻教育事业

Yes. 应该

And if I may suggest,consider changing disciplines.Yeah, to the humanities   perhaps history. 而且我建议你 考虑教别的学科 比如人文学科  就像历史

One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things.You know, 教历史的一个好处在于 你不用搞创造发明

 you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back. 你只要记住历史上发生过的事 然后鹦鹉学舌般复述就行

You could have fun with that. 你会觉得很开心的

Yeah, that's not it. 我要说的不是这个

Stuart's kind of interested in Amy. 斯图尔特对艾米感兴趣

Oh, of course he is. She's very interesting. 这当然啦  她是非常有趣的人

Did you know, when she was 14,she severed the webbing between her own toes? 你知道吗  她14岁的时候 自己把脚趾间连着的皮割开了

No. 不是这个意思

He wanted me to find out 他叫我问问

I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. 我不确定该怎么回答  莱纳德

I don't own Amy. 艾米又不是我的人

Can't own a person. 我也不能拥有某个人

At least not since... 至少从什么时候开始不能呢

1863 1863年

President Lincoln freed the... 因为林肯总统解放了什么呢

Slaves! Come on, Leonard,if you're going to teach history,these are the kind of facts you'll have to know. 黑奴  拜托  莱纳德 如果你要去教历史 你就该知道这些历史事件

You know what? Never mind. 好吧  当我没说

The question is moot.There is no way that Stuart,an impoverished peddler of picture books,would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler, 这问题毫无意义 斯图尔特这么一个 穷不啦叽的漫画店老板 对艾米·菲拉·福勒毫无吸引力可言

a noted neurobiologist capable of performing surgery on her own feet with nothing but nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia. 她可是着名神经生理学家 只用罐子里的鲜奶油做出的 一氧化二氮当麻醉剂(一氧化二氮有轻微麻醉作用 并致人发笑)就能给自己的脚动手术

All right, but for the record,I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it. 好吧  不过强调一下 我可是特意征询过你对此事的感受

Fine. The record shall so reflect. 知道了  我已经如实回答了

Now, getting back to the problem at hand,what to do with a washed up experimental physicist... 现在我们回到要紧的问题上 失败的实验物理学家应该怎么办...

I am not washed up. 我没有失败

Oh, Leonard. 莱纳德

Lots of people love you and want to help you,but they can't until you admit the problem. 有很多人关心你  想帮助你 但除非你正视自己的问题  否则都是徒劳

Well, ladies, we killed the bottle. 姑娘们  我们喝完了一瓶

I had half a glass. 我只喝了半杯

I didn't have any. 我一点都没喝上

Okay, don't judge me. 好吧  别怪我

So, what do you want to do  go to the movies, go dancing, lay down for a little bit? 你们想玩什么 看电影  去跳舞  还是去躺一会

Or we play... Travel Twister. 或者我们可以玩扭扭乐

Amy, really? Twister? 真的吗  艾米  扭扭乐

Excuse me. I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game. 拜托  扭扭乐伴我度过了无数个美好的夜晚

And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people. 而且我觉得和别人一起玩 肯定更有趣

What do you say, bestie? We can do shirts and skins.I'm shirts. Called it. 怎么样  闺蜜  我们分成穿衣队和不穿衣队 我是穿衣队  不好意思先挑咯

I'm too small for Twister.And roller coasters. 我太娇小了  不能玩扭扭乐 过山车也不行

And sitting with my feet on the floor. 坐着的时候脚也够不到地上

Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom. 都怪你怀孕的时候抽烟  妈妈

Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me,and I turned out just fine. 我妈妈怀孕的时候也抽烟 但我身心发育完好

Hey, look, I have peach schnapps.Thank God. 瞧  还有蜜桃酒呢 谢天谢地

Guys, something happened. 姑娘们  出事了

What's wrong? 怎么了

I think a boy likes me. 我觉得有个男生喜欢我

Hi. It's Stuart.We met at the comic book store.I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee sometime. 你好  我是斯图尔特 我们在漫画店里见过 不知道我能不能约你出来喝杯咖啡

It's okay if you say no.It might be the kick in the pants I need to start taking Zoloft. 你拒绝也没关系 就是这打击有点大 没准我得去吃片舍曲林

Amy, little vixen.Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester. 艾米  你个小狐狸精 衣服穿这么多  还挡不住你的骚气呀

What are you going to do?Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend? 你要怎么办 他不知道你有男朋友了吗

Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend;she has a Sheldon. 她有的不是男朋友 是谢尔顿

So do you like Stuart? 你喜欢斯图尔特吗

I don't know.He's nice.He's funny.He has the sallow, drawn countenance associated with an overactive thyroid gland. That's kind of hot. 我不知道 他人不错 挺风趣 就是有些面黄肌瘦 还有活跃得不太正常的甲状腺 那还挺性感的

Okay, look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon,but you've been with him over a year now. 好吧  亲爱的  我们都喜欢谢尔顿 但你和他一起都一年多了

If it's not going anywhere,what does it hurt to look around? 如果没有新进展 何不发展新恋情呢

Well, yeah, I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie. 就是  他们也没订婚  不像我和华仔

Yeah, for what it's worth,engaged people can look around, too.Lot of options out there. 好吧  不管怎样 就算订了婚也可以反悔的 外面的世界很精彩哦

Where's Stuart? 斯图尔特呢

Out. 出去了

Who are you? 你是谁

I'm Dale.He left me in charge. 戴尔 他让我看店

Really? 真的吗

Yeah.I don't get it, either. 是的 我也搞不懂

I want to return this Wild West and Witches Ka'a expansion pack. 我想退掉这个 荒野西部与卡亚女巫的扩展包

Sorry. I don't do returns.They're hard. 抱歉  我不处理退货 太难了

Sure, sure. 当然

Uh, when will Stuart be back? 斯图尔特什么时候回来

I don't know. He went out for coffee.With a girl. 我不知道  他出去喝咖啡了 和个女孩一起哟

Oh, I guess I was wrong. 我想我错了

You okay? 你还好吧

Am I okay? 我还好吧

Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me, all four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction,and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule. 莱纳德  我这辈子迟早会拿诺贝尔奖 有座城市还要以我的名字命名 我的四颗智齿 在我嘴里安稳地长着  完全不用拔掉 我的肠道活动就像德国火车一样规律

Am I okay? 你说我还好吗

I'm okay, too! 那我也很好