Oh, you know what they say, best things in life are free. 俗话说嘛，免费的就是最好的

Okay, you're right.I eat your food a lot. 你说得对，我吃了你不少东西

Now, how about this? You can raid my fridge anytime you want. 不如这样，我冰箱里的东西你随便拿

Oh, that's very kind of you. 你人真好

Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D-cell battery with a jar of old pickle juice, I'll come a-knockin'. 下次我想用腌瓜汁洗D型电池时，我会去敲门的

Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in. I'm suppose to ask you if you're bringing someone to the wedding. I'll let you know. 拉杰，你没答复请帖，我想问下，你要不要带伴来婚礼。我会告诉你的

Well, can you make it soon? 你能快点吗?

There's a battle royale going on over the seating charts. In one corner, Bernadette's mom, in the other three, mine. 有人快因为座位表打起来了，伯纳黛特她妈位于拳台一角，我妈一人就占了另外三角

Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. 我讨厌婚宴

Yeah, I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home. 我希望新人们能学学比尔博·巴金斯（魔戒持有者），摸摸指环，消失不见，大家回家

Mm, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding. 可你喜欢盖世四教授的婚宴啊

They had a make-your-own-sundae bar. 他们有个自助冰淇淋吧

Oh, that was a night to remember. 真难以忘怀

Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts. 有一次，我就吃了一整碗坚果

Anyway, you got to let me know if you have a plus one. Because if not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor who sucked the fat out of her neck. 总之，你带伴的话要告诉我，不然我妈就要把，给她脖子抽脂的医生塞进来了

All right, uh, fine.I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody. 好吧，我会去，我也会带个伴

Uh, Koothrappali plus one. 库斯拉帕里带伴哦

Who you bringing?  Who are you bringing?! 你带谁?你带谁?

He's bringing me; who are you bringing? 他带我，你带谁?

Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells. 你们真是群三姑六婆

Come on, who is it? 说嘛，带谁

I'm not telling. 我不告诉你

I'm from Asia, I'm mysterious, deal with it. 我来自亚洲，很神秘的，忍着吧

Howard aren't having a make-your-own-sundae bar? 霍华德，你们没有自助冰淇淋吧吗?

I don't think so. 应该没吧

Well, you should. 应该有的

50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness. 50%的婚姻以离婚收场，但有自助冰淇淋吧的都白头偕老了

Hello, Mummy, Daddy. How are you? 爸爸妈妈，你们好吗?

Pretty good. Can't complain. 非常好，都没啥好抱怨的

Oh, I'm sure you can. 我肯定你有

Just give it a minute. 你就抱怨吧

Listen, uh, there's something I want to talk to you about. 我有事要和你们谈谈

I wasn't ready until now, but... I think it's time. 我之前都没准备好，但我想是时候了

It's finally happening. You're coming out of the closet, aren't you? 终于发生了，你要从柜子里出来了，是吧（出柜表明同志倾向）

We love you, and we accept your alternate lifestyle. 我们爱你，接受你选择的生活方式

Just... keep it to yourself. 不用跟我们说就好

No, I'm not gay. 我不是同性恋

If anything, I'm metrosexual. 我最多算个潮男而已

What's that? 那是什么?

It means I like women as well as their skin-care products. 就是说我喜欢女人，也喜欢她们的护肤品

Well, if you're not coming out, why did you call us during the cricket semifinals? 既然你不出柜，那干吗在板球半决赛时叫我们?

I'm tired of trying to meet someone, and I think I'd like you to help me find a... a wife. 我不想再自己找对象了，我想让你们帮我找个老婆

And just to clarify... a female wife? Yes! 我问问清楚，女老婆吧?是的!

Matchmaking very smart move, son. 相亲，非常好，儿子

Much better than marrying for love. 比自由恋爱好很多

We married for love. 我们就是自由恋爱的

And it's been wonderful! 那很棒啊!

Quantum physics makes me so happy. Yeah, I'm glad. 量子物理让我好开心。这样挺好啊

It's like looking at the universe naked. 好像在看赤身裸体的宇宙

Hi, Guys got a minute?  Sure. What's up? 嗨，有时间吗?什么事

Well, I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke the other night about me eating all your food. 我想了想谢尔顿那晚开玩笑说，我吃光了你们的食物

That was no joke. But... I understand your confusion, as I am our group's resident cutup. 我没开玩笑，但是...我懂你的困惑，因为我是咱这群人里的开心果

I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup? Yes. 不好意思，你是开心果?是啊

Oh, prove it. 证明一下

Knock-knock.Who's there? Interrupting physicist. Interrupting phys... Muon! 敲门，谁?插嘴的物理学家。插嘴的物...μ介子!

Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial, and I thought, hey,  总之，我的广告费还剩下一些，我想

how about I get the guys a little thank you to pay them back? 不如给你们点谢礼，慰劳一下

So, Sheldon... ta-da! 谢尔顿，看!

A vintage mint-in-box 1975 Mego  Star Trek Transporter with real transporter action. Hot darn!  原装复古1975版米高牌星际迷航传送器，还能实现传送操作，深得我心

Where did you get that? From Stuart, at the comic book store. 在哪买的?漫画书店，斯图尔特那里

You went to the comic book store by yourself? Yeah. 你自己去漫画书店?是啊

It was fun.I walked in, and two different guys got asthma attacks. 挺搞笑的，我一进去，两个哥们哮喘病就发作了

Felt pretty good. 感觉不错

This calls for an expression of gratitude. 这需要表达感谢

Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug? 我要得到少有的，谢尔顿·库珀拥抱吗

No, not this time.Then they wouldn't be special. 这次不行，不然就不特殊了

Thanks, Penny. You're welcome. 谢谢，佩妮。不客气

Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. 别担心，我没忘了你哦

Leonard, I got you... a label-maker! 莱纳德，我给你买了...标签机

No, it's great. 挺不错的

Also mint-in-box. 好歹是原装未开封的

And I got you a transporter, too! Awesome! 我也给你买了个传送器!酷毙了

Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr.Spock action figure. 看啊，这简直是为我的，复古Spock手办量身打造的

Oh, that's great! Let's open them up and put him in there. 太棒了! 快打开盒子，把它放里面

Open it? !  Oh, good Lord, no! 打开干啥?额滴神哪，才不要

Why? They're just toys. They're collectibles.They're mint-in-box. 为啥，不就是个玩具嘛。它们是收藏品，它们可是原装未开封的

Come on. Can't we open one up and take a look? No, don't! 就拆一个看看嘛，住手

Once you open the box, it loses its value. 盒子一旦开了，分文不值

Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. 好吧好吧，我妈也是这样说我的贞操的

Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it. 我跟你说，"开了"以后玩，要有意思得多

Are you sure you want us here when you meet this woman? 你确定和她见面时，要我们在场?

Oh, yes. In my culture, it's expected to have a chaperone to oversee a first date. 是的。我们的习俗里，首次约会应该有个女伴作陪

Plus, I want to make a good impression, and no offense, but with you guys here, I look like I'm six-two. 再者，我想留个好印象，别在意啊，和你俩一比，我看起来有1米88

The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school. 我们高中舞会时，都是修女监督

They used to make us leave room between us for the Holy Spirit. 她们要求我们要在彼此之间，为"圣灵"腾点地方

Uh, Hindus do the same thing. 印度教徒也这样

Except they leave room for a cow. 不过他们是给牛腾地方

Listen, I love your charming racist humor, but any chance you could not mock my religion while she's here? 听着，我欣赏你那迷人的，种族幽默言论，但她在场时，别嘲笑我的信仰行不?

Yesterday, you made fun of me for eating lox. 昨天你还嘲笑我吃熏鲑鱼呢

It's different, your people don't worship lox. 那是两回事，你们犹太人又不崇拜熏鲑鱼

Clearly, you've never been to brunch with my cousins. 显然你没和我的堂兄弟们，吃过早午饭

So, arranged marriages the parents just decide and then you have to get married? 所谓的家庭包办婚姻，就是父母决定，你就必须结婚吗?

No, no, I get a say in it. 不，我有发言权的

But I'm sure whoever shows up will be better company than the threesome I've been having with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. 但我确定和这人在一起总比让我跟阿香婆和老干妈三P强

Excuse me, are you Rajesh? Ah, yes. 不好意思，你是拉杰什吗?是的

You must be Lakshmi. 你一定是拉克希米

Uh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. 幸会幸会。彼此彼此

These are my friends. This is Bernadette. Hello. 他们是我朋友，这是伯纳黛特，哈喽

And this is Howard. 这是霍华德

Nice to meet you. You, too. Please, have a seat. 很高兴认识你，我也是。请坐

I'm thinking double wedding. 我已经在考虑和你们一起办婚礼啦

Dr. Cooper. Dr. Cooper? Is someone there 库珀博士，库珀博士?谁啊

Down here. On your desk. 往下看，在你桌上

Spock? I need to speak with you. Fascinating. 斯波克?我得和你谈谈。真有趣

The only logical explanation is that this is a dream. 唯一合理的解释就是，我在做梦

It is not the only logical explanation. 那可不一定

For example, you could be hallucinating after being hit on the head by, say, a coconut. 比如，你可能被颗椰子砸头后，出现了幻觉

Was I hit on the head by a coconut? I am not going to dignify that with a response. 我真被椰子砸头了?我保持沉默，这不是啥光荣事

Now to the matter at hand. You need to play with the transporter toy. 现在说正事，你得玩那传送器玩具

But it's mint-in-box. Yes. 可那是原装未开封的。是的

And to open it would destroy its value. 一旦打开便分文不值

But remember, like me, you also have a human half. 但你要记住，和我一样，你也有一半人类的血统

Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. 这下轮到我保持沉默了

Consider this. What is the purpose of a toy? 想想看。玩具存在的意义是什么?

To be played with. Therefore, to not play with it would be...? 被玩。所以，不玩它意味着啥?

Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right. 不合逻辑，该死，斯波克，你说得对

I'll do it. Sheldon, wait. 谢尔顿，我来拆。且慢

You have to wake up first. Oh, of course. 你得先醒来。当然

Set phasers to dumb, right? Goodie, goodie, goodie! 把激光枪强度调至傻瓜级，对吧?小兔子乖乖

This is wrong, this is wrong. I'm so excited, but this is wrong. 这样不对，这样不对，我好激动，但这是不对的

I'm gonna do it. I'm doing it. I did it. 我要拆了，我在拆，我拆完了

That's what I always thought 1975 smelled like. 这就是我梦想中1975的气味

One to beam down, Mr. Scott. 传送人数一人，斯科特先生

Aye, aye, Mr. Spock. Energize. 收到，斯波克先生。充能

Energize. No. No. Don't be broken. 充能...不，不，不要坏啊

Oh, please, don't be broken. 千万别坏啊

What did you make me do?! Okay, okay, think. 看你都让我做了啥好事？！冷静，冷静，开动脑筋

It's only logical. 只有这样才合乎逻辑

My goodness, that was delicious. 天哪，超好吃的

Well, I hope you saved room for chocolate lava cake. 希望你还有肚子吃，巧克力熔岩蛋糕

Impressive. What goes into making something like that? 妙极了。这要咋做啊

Well, you start out by trying to make chocolate souffl, and when it falls, you panic, quickly change the name, and voila, lava cake. 首先得尝试做巧克力蛋奶酥，然后它垮了，你慌了，赶快改名字，就成熔岩蛋糕了

I bet our parents are dying to know how things are going here. Well, let's see. 我敢说爸妈们正着急，我俩进展如何呢。比比看

Yep, three missed calls. 没错，三个未接来电

Four missed calls, two text messages and a failed video chat. I win! 四个未接来电，两条信息，一条视频聊天请求未果。我赢喽

So, what are we going to tell them? 怎么和他们说?

I'd like to tell them things are going well. Me, too. 我会说进展不错。我也这么说

But before we get their hopes up, we should probably make sure we're on the same page. Okay. 在让他们抱过高期望之前，我们应该达成共识先。好的

What page are you on? 你什么想法?

I'm on the one where I'm under a lot of pressure from my parents to get married and settle down and have a family,  父母给我压力很大，老催我赶紧结婚，安定，生子

and I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay. 我得抓紧，不然他们就会发现我是同志了