Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. 欢迎收看由谢尔顿·库珀出品的《有趣的旗帜》

Before we get started, I'd like to announce the winner of our design your own flag competition. 节目开始前我想先公布设计旗帜比赛的赢家

But I can't.The only entry was from GameyGamer75,and I know that was a jpeg of your buttocks. 可惜没有。唯一的参赛作品来自网友"爱咪福乐75"我知道你上传的是自己屁股照片

Now this week we have a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. 本周这集十分特别我们将介绍热门影集《星际迷航》中的旗帜

And to help me, I'm pleased to introduce Internet personality,former star of Star Trek: The Next Generation, 我很荣幸请到这位来帮忙的特邀嘉宾网络名人《星际迷航:  下一代》剧中演员

and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized in 1/16 scale set phasers to "Fun"... 并且是我认识的唯一一位有幸被按比例做成小人偶的朋友将激光枪设至欢乐档改编自《星际迷航》中的句子"set phasers to stun"（将激光枪设至击晕档）

for my friend, Wil Wheaton. 欢迎我的好友  威尔·惠顿

Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. 谢尔顿  感谢你的邀请

I'm happy to be here. Cut.What's wrong? 很高兴能上贵节目.停,怎么啦

Sorry, Sheldon, you were brilliant as always. 谢尔顿  你的表现如往常一样精彩

Wil, that was a little wooden.Wooden? 威尔,你有点太呆板了,呆板吗

Don't worry, it wasn't terrible. 别担心  也没那么烂

Just, this time, try to say it the way people sound. And action. 但这次可以像正常人一样说话吗?开拍

My friend, Wil Wheaton. 我的好友威尔·惠顿

Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me.I'm excited to be here. 谢尔顿，感谢你的邀请我很兴奋能上贵节目呢

So, Wil, what do you have for us first? 威尔  你将从哪一面旗帜开始介绍呢

Well, this is an exciting one. 这面旗非常有意思

This is the flag of the United Federation of Planets. 这是星际联邦的旗帜

Now what's interesting about this flag...Cut. 这面旗有趣的地方在于...  停

What was wrong with that? 又怎么了

It's called "Fun with Flags."They're not at halfmast, nobody died.Let's try and keep it upbeat. 这节目叫"有趣"的旗帜，不是有人死了在降半旗哀悼，欢乐喜庆点好不好

Um, no offense，but I've been acting since I was a kid. 我无意冒犯但我从小就开始演戏

I think I can handle a Web show without a lot of direction.It's true. 上个网络节目我应该不需要人家教。此话不假

In 1982, Wil played the voice of Martin the mouse in The Secret of NIMH. 在1982年，威尔就替卡通电影《勇敢鼠妈妈》里的一角配音了

You moved me.You'll have to forgive me. 你感动了我。原谅我的吹毛求疵。

This is my first time directing, I just want it to be good. 我第一次当导演  只想尽善尽美

So do I. Great.So, this time let's try more real boy, less Pinocchio. 我也是，很好。那这次就请你像个真男孩而非小木偶

And action.And cut.You realize that I'm doing this for free, right? 开拍，停。你知道我是无偿友情客串的吧

Yes. And so far, we're still not getting our money's worth. 但目前为止  无偿都有点不值回票价呢

Let's try it again.Everybody's having fun.And action.So, Wil...what do you have for us first? 再来一次。大家开开心心。开拍，威尔你要先介绍哪面旗帜呢

Well, this is an exciting one. 这面旗十分有意思哦

This is the flag of the United Federation of Planets.Cut. 这面旗可是星际联邦的旗帜，停

Problem, first time director?Oh, none that I could see. 有问题吗？"新手"导演我是没发现啦

I saw a man who loved flags almost as much as I do. 我只觉得你跟我一样热爱旗子

I got goose bumps.He was overacting on purpose.Really? 都起鸡皮疙瘩了，他故意夸张演出。真的吗

He reminded me of a young William Shatner. 让我想起电影里寇克船长小时候呢

Listen, Sheldon, I'm really happy to do this for you,but not if she's gonna be a huge pain in the ass the whole time. 谢尔顿，我很乐意上你节目但她要在这当找茬精的话，那就算了吧

You gonna let him speak to me like that?Well... 他这么说我你居然没意见吗？这个嘛...

you're my girlfriend and I don't want you to be upset. 你是我女朋友我不想你不高兴

Then again, Wil Wheaton's my friend and I don't want him to be upset. 但威尔·惠顿也是我朋友我也不想他不高兴

This is a sticky wicket. 真是进退两难啊

What do you think? 你有什么看法

Can I speak to you for a second? 我们去一边谈谈

I'll be right back. 我马上回来

Feel free to play with yourself. 欢迎你"自娱自乐"

I don't care for your friend,he's being rude to me. 我不管他是不是你朋友他对我出言不逊

You need to ask him to leave. 你得叫他滚蛋

Amy, I can't just ask Wil Wheaton to leave. 艾米  你怎么能叫他滚蛋呢

He's a minor celebrity. 他好歹也是个二线明星

Once you explain who he is, many people recognize him. 只需费点唇舌解释，人们还是能认出他的

Fine. Then maybe I should go. 行  那我走可以了吧

Could you? That would solve everything. 真的吗  那问题就能迎刃而解了

You are the best. I'll see you at dinner tonight? 你最好了。今晚晚餐见吗？

You sure you wouldn't rather have dinner with your friend Wil Wheaton? 你不会想跟你的好友威尔一起共进晚餐吗？

Come to think of it, I would! 细想一下  我还真想呢

You, little lady, are on fire. 小妞你今天棒呆啦

Every time we eat dinner here,your mother refuses to let me help with the dishes. 每次来吃晚饭你妈妈都不让我帮忙洗碗

Don't take it personally. She likes doing them by herself so she can lick the plates with no one looking. 别往心里去她想自己洗碗单纯是怕被别人看她偷舔碗盘

You ready to go? 准备好要回去了吗

Yeah, let me just grab a couple of fresh turtlenecks. 行  我拿几件洗好的高领衣就走

I don't understand why you keep your stuff here when there's plenty of room at home. 咱们家那么多地方干嘛还要把东西统统都留在这里啊

What are you talking about? 哪有这回事

All I have here is a few sweaters, books, bank stuff, computers,mail, collectibles, medicine and my electric body groomer. 我就留了几件外套书，银行东西，电脑信件，收藏品，药物跟电动除毛机

Ooh, there's my plaid dickie. 我的格子纹小围脖

Oh, got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. 我在二手店花五毛钱买到的呢

Can you believe it? 50 cents sounds right. 不敢相信吧？感觉就值这个价呀

Let's go. You know, it's kinda late.Why don't we just spend the night here? 走吧。有点晚了呢？何不干脆在这里过夜

Because we don't live here. I know. 因为我们不住在这里啊。我知道

Do you? You said when you got back from space you were gonna move into my apartment,but half the time we stay here. 你真知道吗？你自己说从太空回来后就搬进我公寓但半数时间我们都住这里

That's not true. Howard, I'm doing laundry! 才没有呢。霍华德，我要洗衣服了！

You want me to put anything in for you?! 有什么需要我帮你洗的吗

There's some underwear in the hamper! 篮子里有我的内裤，拿去洗吧

Oh, good! I got that new stain stick to try out! 非常好！我刚好要试试新去渍棒

Thank you! I only put it on the list two weeks ago! 谢谢你做我"两周前"要求的事啊

Okay, I see what you're getting at. 好吧，我懂你意思了

How about this weekend 要不这周末吧

I'll box up all my things and move them to our place. Thank you. 我把所有东西都打包搬回咱家，谢谢

The lightsabers are gonna look great in the living room. 这两把光剑放在我们客厅肯定很帅

Or in the closet. We can decide later.Howard, help! 放衣柜里也不错。到时候决定吧。霍华德，帮帮忙！

My hand's stuck in the garbage disposal! 我的手卡在食物垃圾处理机里了

Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding! 那你把手里抓着不放的食物放开啊

Are you kidding?! It's a perfectly good chicken leg! 你不是吧？是一根完好无缺的好鸡腿呢！

Hey, look who's out after dark, like a big boy. 某人像个大男孩一样，夜游晚归哦。

I was out raising heck with Mr. Wil Wheaton. 我跟威尔·惠顿去共进晚餐了

Four hours more and we would have closed down the HomeTown Buffet. 再让我们吃个四小时就能吃垮"家乡"自助餐厅了

I thought you had plans with Amy. Yeah, I did,but then Wil called Amy a pain in the ASS. 你不是跟艾米有约了吗？是啊，但威尔说艾米是找茬精

She got huffy and left,then Wil and I headed out to dinner. 她就不爽走人了然后我就跟威尔一起去吃晚饭了

That place really did remind me of my hometown. "家乡"自助餐厅  真的有家乡味呢

Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet. 因为我家乡也有一家"家乡"自助餐厅

Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument? 等等  威尔跟艾米吵架啦

Yes, quite the kerfuffle. 对啊  挺剑拔弩张的

Then Amy got mad and left? 然后艾米火大走人啦

Walked right out the door.And you...? 夺门而出一去不返。然后你...

Enjoyed a delightful dinner at a reasonable price. 跟威尔开心地吃了顿好价钱的晚饭

The manager recognized Wil and let us sit right next to the frozen yogurt machine. 餐厅经理认出了威尔同意让我们坐在冰酸奶机旁呢

Right next to it! 正旁边哦

I was closer to it than I am to you right now. 比我现在跟你的距离还近呢

Buddy, I think Amy might be upset.Why's that? 兄弟，艾米可能在不高兴哦。为啥啊

Because your friend was rude to her,and then you went to dinner with him. 你的朋友对她出言不逊你还跟他一起去吃晚饭

You're just repeating what I said. 这不就是我刚才说的而已吗

It's like living with a lactoseintolerant parrot. 你这只乳糖不耐症的学舌鹦鹉

Trust me, call her. 听我的  打给她吧

Fine. It's a shame you didn't go to dinner with us, because the buffet you're about to enjoy only serves humble pie,a dessert much less tasty than frozen yogurt. 行。你没跟我们一起吃晚餐真可惜因为你等下就只能尝到屈辱的滋味了跟冰酸奶的味道完全不能比哦

I was this close. What? 当时就坐这么近，有何贵干？

You'll appreciate this. 跟你说个笑话

Leonard has some ridiculous notion that you're mad at me. 莱纳德脑子抽风  说你在气我

Tell him you're not mad at me. 告诉他没这回事

Go ahead, set him straight. 说吧  给他个痛快

I'm mad at you, Sheldon. 我是气你啊  谢尔顿

Eat one of your Luna bars. 吃根巧克力棒吧

Very often when women think they're angry, they're really just hungry. I'm not hungry. 女人常以为自己在愤怒其实只是肚子饿而已啦？我不饿

Your friend insulted me, and you didn't do anything. 你朋友羞辱我，你也不干嘛

Precisely, I didn't do anything. 对啊  我什么都没干啊

Now does someone feel like checking her emotional math? 某人是不是该仔细想想自己在说啥啊

Keep going, buddy, you're doing great. 继续吧兄弟  我看好你哦

Sheldon, I'm your girlfriend,and you should have taken my side. 谢尔顿，我是你女朋友你应该帮我的才对啊。

That's it. End of story. Good night. 就这样吧。我说完了。晚安。

Wow, Amy's mad and Leonard was right. 哎哟，艾米在生气。莱纳德说得对。

What a weird day. 今天真不可思议

Hey. Sorry this took so long. 抱歉  让你们等这么久

But you used to work here, you know how it is. 你以前也在这打工过，你懂得

Kitchen slammed again? 厨房又出事了吗？

No, I'm a terrible waitress, remember? 是我只是个烂服务生  忘了吗

So, is there anything I can do to help you with the move tomorrow? 你明天要搬家我有什么能帮你的吗

Now that you mention it,I was thinking tomorrow might not be great. 正好你提到此事我觉得明天不是一个搬家的好日子

What's your excuse this time? No excuse. 你又有什么借口了？没借口

It's just, you know, I'm Jewish, and technically,we're not supposed to drive or carry anything on the Sabbath. 只是呢  我是犹太人嘛  严格来说安息日的时候我们得休息  不适合搬家

So this one's on God. 怪神别怪我啊

That might be a little more convincing if you didn't have a mouthful of bacon cheeseburger. 要想赖神跟习俗可以但你满嘴猪肉起司汉堡，谁信啊（犹太人不吃猪肉）

My religion's kinda looseygoosey. 我不是一个忠实信徒嘛

Basically, as long as you got your schmekel clipped and don't wear a cross, you're good. 简单来说，只要乖乖牺牲包皮（割礼）不戴十字架也没事啦

Howie, you promised you'd move.And I will. 华仔，你答应过我会搬家的。我会啊。

Yeah, right. I will. 谁信啊，我真的会搬

I'm obviously not going to live in my mother's house for the rest of my life. I'm not a child. 我怎么可能会一辈子都赖在我妈的家里不走呢  又不是小孩

I've seen her burp you. 我见过她帮你拍嗝

She did not burp me. 她不是帮我拍饱嗝

She was patting me on the back, and I happened to burp. 只是她拍我的背  我刚好打了个嗝

Don't you have other tables you should be waiting on? 你不用去招待其他客人吗

Yeah, but I told you, I'm not good at my job. 要啊  但我也说了  我是个烂服务员

Bernadette, listen to me. 伯纳黛特  相信我

He is never gonna leave. 他死也不会搬走

I'm starting to think you're right. 我开始觉得你是对的

All right, I've had enough of this. 好吧  我受够了

I'm a grown man, I have a successful career. 我是个成年人  我有成功的事业

For the love of God, I've been to space! 看在上帝的份上  我还去过太空呢

I will move out when I'm ready,and I don't need anyone badgering me into it! 当我准备好时我就会搬出去住我不需要任何人没完没了地烦我