I can't blame you Tiny Twister was a complete bust. No, I was wrong. 这不能怪你上次的迷你版扭扭乐就烂爆了。但我这次错了

The looming threat of being crushed under a pile of lumber does add a certain spice. 顶着可能会被一堆木头压死的风险玩让游戏带感了不少

I've never felt so alive. Oh, hello, Alex. 连人都精神起来了。你好啊，艾利克斯。

Uh, let me go get you last night's recordings. What recordings? 我去拿昨晚的录音给你。什么录音？

Well, you remember when you told me I talk in my sleep? 还记得你跟我说过  我会说梦话吗

Well, it occurred to me that, like most things I say, it's probably pure gold. 然后我想到梦话跟我平时说的话一样，含金量也应该超高的吧。

So I started recording it all, and now Alex gets to comb through eight hours of what I like to call "Sheldon After Dark." 所以我开始录音而现在艾利克斯得好好梳理下我称为"谢家午夜论坛"的八小时长节目

Hey, Leonard. Hey. Just playing a little Giant Jenga here. 你好吗，莱纳德。好啊。我在玩巨型层层叠呢。

Oh, I know I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet. 我知道啊那顶安全帽就是我买的

So, do you have any plans this weekend? 这周末你有什么安排吗

Well, most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out where to put this game when we're done.How about you? 周六估计大多数时间得花在思考这玩具玩完后收哪里，你呢？

Oh, I'm gonna go see Kip Thorne give a lecture on subatomic spacetime. 我要去听基普?索恩博士的亚原子时空讲座

That's his take on John Wheeler's quantum foam. 他会讲述对约翰?惠勒的量子泡沫看法

That should be great. 应该会很精彩

Well, if you want, you can come with me. 有兴趣可以跟我一起去啊

Ah, I'd love to, but I'm supposed to hang out with Penny. 我也想啊  可是我跟佩妮有约了

Well, bring her. Well, she's not really into that kind of stuff.Yeah, okay. 带上她嘛。她对这类事情没什么兴趣，那好吧。

Well, if you want to hear about the lecture,I can tell you all about it at work, or, you know, over dinner sometime. 那之后你对讲座内容有兴趣我可以上班时跟你说或者...  共进晚餐时跟你说哦

What? Jenga, I win!Oh, come on, that can't be true. 什么？你弄倒啦，我赢了！拜托，才不可能呢？

I did the research Tony the Tiger, Dig'em the Frog, Cap'n Crunch,Toucan Sam, Count Chocula,Trix the Rabbit, Snap, Crackle and Pop. 我真查过了托尼老虎青蛙，克朗奇船长，巨嘴鸟山姆吸餐鬼伯爵，崔克斯兔卜卜米三兄弟

Not one cereal mascot is a girl. 所有谷类早餐吉祥物都是男生

It's a total breakfast sausage fest. Are we done with this? 谷物早餐界完全"基肠""露露"啊。说完了吗？

Almost Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee,I believe his name is Buzz. Terrific. 快了，红莓怪人、蓝莓鬼、鬼糖糖熊、蜜果圈圈蜂他的名字是叫巴兹（嗡嗡声）吧。很好很好

Something weird happened and I don't know what to do about it.What's going on? 发生了一件怪事我不知道该怎么办。怎么了？

Sheldon's assistant asked me on a date last night. 谢尔顿的助理昨晚约我

How could you do that to me? 你怎么可以这么对我

You know I've been working it with Alex for weeks. 你明知道我泡她好一阵子了

Working it? You can't even talk to her. 你怎么泡人家你连说话都不敢

I talk with my eyes. 我用眼神跟她交流

You look like my little cousin when he's dropping one in his diaper. 我那个小表弟在尿布里拉屎时就这眼神

She knows I have a girlfriend.It's so weird. 她都知道我有女朋友了.真是太神奇了

Oh, my God. You're loving this.To my bones. 天啊，你居然还暗爽。暗爽到爆啊。

I mean, I'm not gonna do anything about it. I love Penny. 我当然是不可能会对她下手啦  我爱佩妮

It's just nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods. 只是有个年轻貌美的女性对我有意思也很不错嘛

I both hate you and want to be you. 我又恨你又想当你

This is Ryan Gosling all over again.Aw, gentlemen. 瑞恩?高斯林的事又重演了，各位同志

What is on the conversational menu this morning? 今早的聊天话题选项有什么呢

Leonard stole my woman, and he knew full well I was only six to eight months away from making my move. 莱纳德抢了我的妞，他明明知道我只差六到八个月就要对她展开攻势了

I didn't steal anyone. 我才没抢走谁呢

Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk and he loves it. 你的助理明摆着对他有意思他还暗爽

Well, that's not acceptable.I'm her boss. 这样可不行，我是她的老板

She needs to be solely focused on my needs,not distracted by your pasty,androgynous brand of sexuality.I'm androgynous? 她只能关注以及满足我的需求不该被你苍白无力雌雄难辨的弱鸡阳气吸引。我怎么雌雄难辨了

Oh, please. Look at you with your pouty beestung lips. 拜托哦。你也不看看你那爱撅起的腊肠嘴

What do you guys think I should do? 你们觉得我该怎么回应她

I say you tell Alex your heart belongs to Penny,I provide her a shoulder to cry on, 我觉得你应该告诉她你只爱佩妮，然后我借肩膀给她哭诉

and then roughly half a year later I give it to her good. 然后差不多半年后  我就能给她"来一发"了

I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice. 我要感谢你们能这么快就赶过来

Uh, in the past, I've reached out to each of you individually,but I believe my present situation 过去呢，我曾与在座各位有过单独请益的时刻但这次我觉得这次的情况

requires the collective wisdom of the group,which as you can see from your commemorative Tshirts 需要你们一起共同集思广益想必你们从纪念T恤上也能看得出

I have dubbed Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies. What is happening? 我标注上了谢尔顿?库伯姐妹顾问团。发生什么事了？

I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation. 我需要你们为一件敏感的职场关系给意见

Uh, to protect those involved,I'll be changing their names.Who's involved? 为了保护当事人隐私我会替他们取假名。当事人有谁啊？

Well, a short, bespectacled colleague of mine who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate. 我的一个活在他绝顶聪明的室友光环之下的四眼鸡矮子同事

Let's call this colleague Ricardo ShillyShally. 这叫他"里卡多?谢利沙力"吧

You're talking about Leonard. 你是在说莱纳德

No, no, ShillyShally has red hair and, uh, he briefly served in the Mexican Navy. 不不，谢利沙力有一头红发他曾在墨西哥海军短期服役过

Anyway, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend,ShillyShally has been the recipient of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady. 虽然他已经有一个女朋友谢利沙力是遭年轻女性对他做不适宜的职场调戏的受方

It's your assistant Alex, isn't it?  No. 攻方就是你的助理艾利克斯吧？不对。

Not... No. This is Tondelaya Della Ventimiglia. 才不是  是唐德莱娅?德拉?文蒂米利亚

Wait, what the hell's going on with Leonard and Alex? 等等  莱纳德跟艾利克斯到底是怎么回事

I'm sorry. Who's talking about Leonard and Alex? 抱歉  谁在说莱纳德和艾利克斯啊

Fine. Ricardo and Tondelaya. 好吧  是里卡多和唐德莱娅

Okay, look, it's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya. 其实我要说的重点不是里卡多和唐德莱娅

It is really about her boss,who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation and could use your advice, 而是唐德莱娅的博士老板他不知道该如何处理这种情况所以需要你们给出主意

which is surprising because Dr. Einstein Von Brainstorm... 这有些反常  因为爱因斯坦?冯?集思广益博士

He's usually pretty smart about these things. 向来很会处理这种情况

I'm gonna kill her.I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. 我要杀了她。我相信你没什么好担心的。

Leonard would never cheat on you.She's right. 莱纳德绝对不会背叛你。她说得对

But say the word I got a lab full of cocaineaddicted monkeys with nothing to lose. 但只要你开口我有满满一实验室不怕死的毒瘾疯猴随时听候差遣

One of them could end up in the backseat of her car.Or her shower. 可以扔一个进她的汽车后座。或是她的浴室。

Ladies, ladies, please.We're not here to talk about Penny, okay? 女士们，女士们，拜托。我们不是来这里讨论佩妮的，好吗？

We're here to talk about me.Uh, I mean Einstein Von Brainst... Oh, darn it! 我们是来讨论我的，我是说爱因斯坦?冯?集思... 我靠

All right, I guess the cat's out of the bag. 好吧  说溜嘴了

Let me explain what's going on Ricardo is really Leonard... 那我就来解释下发生了什么事吧里卡多其实是莱纳德...

We know what's going on, Sheldon!Well, what should I do? 我们知道发生了什么事，谢尔顿！那我应该怎么做

Well, Alex is your employee. 艾利克斯是你的员工

If she's doing something that's making Leonard uncomfortable,you should talk to her. 如果她做出一些让莱纳德觉得不舒服的事那你应该跟她谈谈

Oh, no, he's not uncomfortable at all.No, he's loving it. 不，他才没有不舒服呢。他暗爽死了好吗

Yeah, he's strutting around like he's fivefootsix. 对啊，他趾高气昂地好像自己有两米那么高

What... He's loving it?Sheldon, you need to talk to Alex right away. 什么……他很暗爽？谢尔顿，你得马上跟艾利克斯谈谈

Talk to her? That's all you've got? 谈谈就只有这种建议啊

With a cool name like Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies,I really expected more. "谢尔顿?库伯姐妹顾问团"的名字这么牛气我本来期望很高呢

Give me back the Tshirts. Alex...check my schedule. 把T恤还我。艾利克斯查下我的日程表

What does my afternoon look like? I think it's pretty wide open. 今天下午我有什么安排？我记得好像没有任何安排

Oh, wait. Here's something at 4:00."Give Alex a talking to"? 慢着，四点有安排。"跟艾利克斯谈谈"

Well, that snuck up on us, didn't it?Is there a problem? 这安排真是悄无声息出人意料啊？有什么问题吗？

Let's not call it a problem.Let's call it an opportunity. 那其实不叫问题，我们应该称其为"机会"。

To solve a serious problem.What did I do? 一个解决严重问题的机会。我做错什么了？

You don't know? Oh, you poor dear. 你不知道吗？可怜的小宝贝。

Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brains you don't even know which way is up. 你的卵巢把太多愚蠢分泌物都送到你脑子，害你人都傻了

You made an inappropriate sexual advance towards Dr. Hofstadter.  What? 你对霍夫斯塔德博士做出不恰当的性企图。什么？

I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody. 我没有对任何人做任何性企图

Now, there's no need to get defensive. 别这么快就开始激动辩解

I'm not unsympathetic to your plight. 我对你的情况表示同情

My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day. 我的父亲过去常说女人就像德州温暖天气中的鸡蛋沙拉三明治

What? Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time. 什么意思？鸡蛋（卵子)满满诱惑短短(容易坏)

This conversation is making me uncomfortable. 这次谈话让我觉得很不舒服

Yeah, you and me both, sister. 不止你  我也是  妹妹

Now, please understand... I don't hold you responsible for your behavior 现在请你明白你的行为我并不觉得是你的错,

because, see, from an evolutionary standpoint,you're a slave to your desire to reproduce. 因为从进化的角度看你不过是自身繁殖欲望的奴隶

But during the work day,when you feel possessed by amorous intent, 但在工作时间当你觉得自己有求欢的意图时

may I suggest that you suppress it by leafing through this illustrated book of sexually transmitted diseases? 我能否建议你通过翻阅这本性传播疾病的绘本来抑制住你的欲望

Let's see here. Oh, yes.Check out this oozy doozy. I have to go. 我们看一下，就这页。你看看这张小恶心图片。我要走了。

So does this fellow,but he can't without it burning like hot soup. 这位仁兄也是但他走不了，他那里就跟热汤那样烧得慌

Hey, pretty lady.Oh, you seem extra happy. Uh, I guess I am. 嗨，美女。你看起来格外开心啊。应该是吧。

Any particular reason why? 有什么特别的原因吗？

Mm, I don't know, just having a good day. 不知道，就是今天过得还不错。

This morning Sheldon fell asleep on the way to work, so I got to listen to the radio that was pretty crazy.Anything else? 早上谢尔顿在去上班的路上睡着了所以我有机会听广播好疯狂的一早。还有别的吗？

I found this quiz online called "Which Star Trek Character Are You?"and it only took me four tries to get Captain Kirk. 我在网上发现一个小测试名叫"测测你是星际迷航中的谁"我测了四次终于测到柯克船长（角色）

That's great.Oh. It. Was. 很好啊。的确如此。

Well, I'm glad you're having such a great day. 很高兴你今天过得这么开心

And the one thing that could make it even better is an evening with my special girl. 还有一件让我更开心的事就是晚上要跟我特别的姑娘约会

Oh, and who's that?What do you mean?Oh, I just didn't know if you meant me or Alex. 哪一个啊？这话什么意思？我不知道特别的姑娘是指我还是艾利克斯

Um, why would I mean Alex? 为什么会指艾利克斯

Because I know she hit on you and I know you liked it! What...? 因为我知道她对你有意思而且我还知道你很暗爽！哪里...有

Don't play dumb with me, Ricardo Shilly Shally!I'm missing something. 别跟老娘装傻里卡多?谢利沙力我是不是漏了什么事