It was good. 还不赖

That's it? "Good"? 就仨字?不赖?

I enjoyed it.  我挺喜欢的

When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity," I didn't think you meant showing me Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time. 你跟我说"要你破处"的时候，谁知道是要献出观看《夺宝奇兵》的第一次嘛

My apologies. I chose my words poorly. 抱歉，在下用词不当

I should have said you were about to have your world rocked on my couch. 我应该对你说，你将在我的沙发上体验一场天旋地转

Anyway, thank you for watching it. 言而总之，谢谢你赏光

It's one of my all-time favorites. 这部是我的心头肉

It was very entertaining... despite the glaring story problem. 倒挺适合打发时间...虽然有显而易见的情节漏洞

Story problem?! You-- oh, Amy... What a dewy-eyed moon-calf you are. 情节漏洞?!你... 我的艾米啊，真是个天真的小蠢蛋

Raiders of the Lost Ark is the love child of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, two of the most gifted filmmakers of our generation. 《夺宝奇兵》可是乔治·卢卡斯和史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格这个时代两位殿堂级电影人的结晶

I've watched it 36 times, except for the snake scene and the face-melting scene, which I can only watch when it's still light out, but... 我欣赏过36遍，除了蛇群和脸融化的镜头，那些只有灯亮着我才敢看

I defy you to find a story problem. 因此你的观点我坚决反对

Here's my jaw... drop it. All right. 我的下巴在此，我看你怎么让它掉(喻非常吃惊)奉陪到底

Indiana Jones plays no role in the outcome of the story. 故事结尾印第安纳琼斯毫无作用

If he weren't in the film, it would turn out exactly the same. 换言之，整部电影，他的角色可有可无

Oh, I see your confusion. You don't understand. 原来你卡在这儿了

Indiana Jones was the one in the hat with the whip. 你没明白印第安纳琼斯是这个戴帽挥鞭的少年

No, I do, and if he weren't in the movie, the Nazis would have still found the ark, 我知道，如果他不出现，纳粹党还是会找到宝物

taken it to the island, opened it up and all died... just like they did. 带上岛开封，然后死翘翘，毫无影响

Let me close that for ya. 帮你合起来哈

Hey! Hi! I thought you went to the comic book store on Wednesdays. 好哇！嗨!我以为你周三去过漫画书店了呢

Yeah, but Sheldon and Amy were having date night and they don't need me there to make it awkward. 是呀，不过谢尔顿和艾米今晚约会我在那不免太尴尬

They have each other for that. 他俩最不缺的就是尴尬

So, how was school? 夜大进展如何?

Oh, good. Check it out. 不错哟，你瞅瞅

The Disappointing Child by Beverly Hofstadter. 贝弗利·霍夫斯塔德的《辜负众望的孩子》

You bought my mom's book? 你买了我娘的书?

Yeah! It's on the recommended reading list for my psychology class. 是啊!这本是心理学课的推荐书目哟

Come on. Not that book. It-It's got, like, every horrible story from my childhood in it. 别介，偏偏是这本，这本...荟萃了我童年所有不堪回首的事迹

Oh, cool. Are there pictures? 真的嘛，图文并茂吗?

Seriously, please find another book. 说真的，换别的读吧

Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be? 看开点，能有多不堪入目?

There-There's chapters about potty training, and bed-wetting and... masturbation. 富含关于便便训练，尿床...还有自慰的章节

Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it! 说白了，但凡我有点什么，她就写什么!

You know what? Do whatever you want, just don't talk to me about it. 算了，爱怎么地就怎么地，别在我面前提起就成

Not even the chapter on the breast-feeding crisis? 母乳喂养危机也不能聊

It was not a crisis. 那不是危机

Apparently, I favored the left one, she got a little lopsided. 我不就喜欢吮吸左边的乳房，她非觉得失衡

Oh, my God, you still go left! 哦天啊，你现在还是喜欢左边的!

Which celebrity would you say I look like the most? Halle Berry. 你们觉得我和哪位名人最像?哈莉·贝瑞(好莱坞女演员)

Why? Stuart and I are putting dating profiles online, and it's one of the questions. 从何谈起?我和斯图尔特在相亲网站上填资料，这是问题之一

And thank you-I'd kill for that woman's bone structure. 谢谢提示，哈莉的骨型让我垂涎

Why are you reading Pride and Prejudice? 没事看什么《傲慢与偏见》?

I'll tell you why. 告诉你

Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, so now I'm trying to find something beloved to her and ruin that. 艾米毁了《夺宝奇兵》我要以牙还牙，找到她的心爱之物，摧毁之

Because her life wasn't enough? 因为她的人生还不够惨吗?

Wait... how can, how can anyone ruin Raiders? It's perfect. 不对啊... 谁能毁《夺宝奇兵》啊?它无可挑剔啊

Yeah, except for the fact that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the story. 对，除了印第安纳琼斯对故事完全没影响

With or without him, the Nazis find the ark, open it and die. Aw! Aw! Aw! 他在不在，纳粹都会找到宝物，开封，最后惨死。嗷!嗷!嗷!

Hey, wait a minute. No, the Nazis were digging in the wrong place. The only reason they got the ark was because Indy found it first. 别急。纳粹本来挖错地方了，他们之所以得到宝物，是因为印第安纳琼斯先行找到宝物

Actually, they were only digging in the wrong place because Indy had the medallion. 可要不是因为印第安纳琼斯有勋章在手，纳粹也不会找错地方

Without him, they would have had the medallion and dug in the right place. Aw! Aw! Aw! 如果没有他，他们就会有勋章，自然会找对地方。嗷!嗷!嗷!

Okay, I know you don't want to talk about it, but can I just ask you one question about your mom's book? No. 我呢，我理解你不想谈这事，但我能不能就你妈的书问一个小问题呢?不行

I just want to know, why a five-year-old boy puts on his mom's makeup and wears balloon boobies. 我就是想知道，为什么一个五岁的小男孩用他母亲的化妆品，还穿着气球咪咪

They weren't boobies, they were muscles. 那不是咪咪，那是做肌肉的

And the makeup was green. I was pretending to be The Hulk. 并且那化妆品是绿色的，我只是想扮绿巨人而已

You were wearing her bra. 你还穿着你妈的胸罩

That was to keep my muscles from sagging! Can we please stop talking about this?!  那是防止我的肌肉下垂啊!我们能不能就此打住了?

Okay, okay. But you know, as a student of psychology who got a check-plus on her first homework assignment... 好吧，听你的，但你知道，作为一个学习心理学的学生，在她的第一份家庭作业上得了一个A

I think, sometimes, it's good to open up about these things. Okay, fine. 我认为有时候，敞开心扉去谈这些事很有好处。好吧

Do you want to know why I dressed like The Hulk? 你想知道我为什么要打扮成绿巨人么?

Because I was always mad at my mom and I wanted to smash my way out of that house. 因为我总是很生她的气，并且我想摔门离家出走

Well, why were you so angry? Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's because I was always the subject of her little experiments. 那你为什么那么生气呢? 老天，我不知道，可能是因为我总是她小小实验的对象吧

Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter egg hunt with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking? 你看到有一章，她弄了个寻找复活节彩蛋的活动，其实根本没蛋，只是想看我能找多久么?

The answer, by the way: June. 答案顺便说下，我找到了六月

Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I do, too, but there's not. 甜心，我真抱歉，我真希望我能做些什么让你好过些。我也希望，可惜没有办法

Really? Are you sure about that? 真的?你确定?

Of course, who am I to argue with a check-plus student? 当然，我怎么能和得A的优秀学生争论呢?

Mmm... Just warning you... I'm gonna go right. Don't make a big deal out of it. 嗯...提醒你下，这次我要弄右边，不要大惊小怪哦

Is makeup really necessary? 真有必要化妆吗?

Well, when someone looks at your dating profile, the first thing they see is your picture. 当然，当有人浏览你的交友信息时，第一眼看的就是你的照片

I just want to make sure you look fun and full of life and not like a body, they just pulled out of the river. 我只是想确保你看起来诙谐有趣、阅历丰富，而不是一具刚从河里拖出来的尸体

All right, here we go, and... smile. 好的，我们开始拍吧，笑一下

Okay, uh-uh, that one's in the bank. 好吧，这张先存着

How about this? Turn away, and then turn back into it. 要不然这样吧?转过身，然后转回来

But when you do, imagine the camera is the girl you want to meet. 但当你转过来时，想象这台相机就是你想遇到的梦中情人

You got it. 好主意

Okay, uh, let's try it again. 好吧，让我们再试一次

Uh, but this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you. 但这次，假装你想遇到的梦中情人，并没有想伤害你

I don't think I can give you that. 我觉得我做不到那个

Come on. One more time. 拜托了，再来一次

Yeah, it's, it's a little blurry, but I think that works in your favor. 额，这张有点拍糊了，但我觉得最好还是用这张

Do you want a beer? Sure. 想喝啤酒吗?当然

Hey, have you finished writing your profile yet? Almost. 嘿，你的交友信息写完了吗?快了

Oh, what did you put as the one-word description of yourself? 噢，你在"一个词形容自己"那栏填了什么?

I put: unobjectionable. 我写的是:不招人嫌

But now that I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky. 但我现在这么一听，似乎显得有点自大

What did you put for your best feature? My parents' money. 那你"最大的优点"填了什么？富二代

Uh, what did you put for your best feature? I put: not applicable. 嗯，那你"最大的优点"写了什么呢?我写的是:暂无

Come on, dude, you're being too hard on yourself. You've got a lot of good stuff going on. 拜托，哥们，你对自己太妄自菲薄了，你身上是有很多优点的

Really? Like what? 真的?比如说?

Well, okay, you're a, you're a talented artist, you own your own business. 好吧你看，你是个才华横溢的艺术家，你有自己的事业

Neither of those things have ever helped me meet a woman. 这两点从没帮我遇见个妞

Okay, well, can we imply that you're well-endowed? 好吧，那我们能说你是个天生有神器的人么

I do have one oddly long testicle. 我有个蛋蛋确实诡异的长

Okay, now you're talking like a winner! 你看，你现在说话的口气才像个把妹高手!

Whatcha doin'? 在干嘛呢?

Oh, it turns out Amy's beloved Pride and Prejudice is a flawless masterpiece. 事实证明艾米最爱的《傲慢与偏见》是一本毫无槽点的杰作

He's got too much pride, she's got too much prejudice-- it just works. 男主狂妄自大，女主对他成见颇深，就这么擦出火花了

So you're looking to ruin something for her in the funny pages? 所以你想在幽默漫画中找点东西，然后毁了它么?

Amy has a fondness for the comic strip Marmaduke. Mm-hmm. And...? 艾米非常喜欢《大丹麦狗马默杜克》这部漫画。嗯，然后呢?

And I think I've got it. Consider: a family possesses a dog that is so large and poorly disciplined, he causes nothing but problems. 我想我有主意了：有一家人养了一只特别大的狗，这只狗非常不乖而且麻烦不断

Why do they keep him?! 你说他们为什么还养它呢?

Maybe they fell in love with him as a puppy and didn't know how big he was gonna be. Of course. 也许他们在它还是小狗的时候就特别爱它，而且也不知道它将来会变得多大啊。就是说啊

You know, why couldn't she just like Ziggy? Yeah? 为什么她就不能喜欢Ziggy呢?为什么?

That thing's riddled with plot holes. Sorry, buddy. 那玩意儿简直漏洞百出。真为你难过兄弟

Ooh! I think she's a fan of Garfield as well. 哦!我想起来她也是加菲猫的粉丝来着

Oh, darn it, now so am I. 噢，该死，现在我也喜欢上了

I'll see you later. I gotta go watch a stupid football game with Penny. 等会见，我得和佩妮去看一场愚蠢的橄榄球赛了

Wait-- hang on. You've spent time with Amy. 等等，先别走，你和艾米相处过

Can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed? 你能想到任何一件她喜欢的，她却没发现有一堆缺点的东东吗?

I gotta go. 我得闪人了