It's actually steamier than it looks. 可比你想的惹火多了

Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in Renaissance paintings. 谢尔顿正在查阅文艺复兴画作中植物根茎的阳物崇拜符号

Oh, no, I got bored with that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon. 我没在看那个了，看得有点无聊，我正亚马逊上看死皮剪

How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table? 你怎么还没扒了他的衣服，就地办了他?

If you do that, I'll scream. 你要是这样我就喊了

Sheldon, I have some exciting news to tell you. 谢尔顿我有好消息和你分享

That makes two of us. 我也是哟

My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days. 一到两个工作日内我的新死皮剪就送上门咯

Come on, one. 求你了，一天吧

I've been invited to consult on an experiment at your university for a few months. 贵校邀请我做实验顾问将持续几个月

Isn't that great? 激动吧?

We could have lunch together. We could carpool. 我们可以共进午餐，搭伴上下班

You know, riding with Leonard has gotten a little tedious lately. 确实，与莱纳德同车愈来愈无趣了

Th-The only car game he ever wants to play is the Quiet Game. 他唯一愿意玩的车内游戏就是"安静游戏"

And he's terrible at it. I always win. 还是个常败将军，我赢得都不爱赢了

So, you're okay with this? 就是说，你答应咯?

Well, why wouldn't I be? 为什么不?

Well, this project would have us working in close proximity to one another. And  由于此次项目我们的办公地点将会非常接近

there's the vulgar adage that one should not defecate where one eats. 俗话说进食的地方不出屎

My father used to say that all the time. 这是我爸的口头禅

That and, um, "Who does one have to orally gratify to get a drink around here?" 还有那句，"要用嘴满足谁，才能有酒喝?"

But what does that have to do with you working at the university? 但这和你来我们学校工作有关系吗?

Sheldon, "Don't defecate where you eat," means don't have a romantic relationship in the workplace. Really? Yes. 谢尔顿那句老话的意思是办公的地方不恋爱。真的?是啊

Huh. Yeah, I always took it literally. 有点意思，我一直当字面意思理解来着

That's why I have never once moved my bowels in this or any restaurant. Hmm. 害得我从未在任何饭店解决过三急。后知后觉

I'm relieved that you don't have a problem with us working together. 既然你对我们俩一起工作没异议我便宽慰了

Not as relieved as I'm about to be. 我才要去宽"胃"呢

It's a brave new world, little lady. 丫头，这是个随"便"的世界

Are you crazy? You don't want your girlfriend at work with you. 你脑子短路了吧?你绝对不会想和女友共事

Hell Clam. 阴间蛤

Why not? 干嘛不想?

Hairy Fairy. 长毛仙子

I think it could be romantic. You know, my parents met at his place of work. 我觉得挺浪漫，我父母就是在工作时看对眼的

Your father's a gynecologist. 你爸是妇科医生啊

I know. What started as a pap smear turned into a date. 我知道啊，本来就是个子宫颈抹片检查变成了约会

Which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred, which continues to this day. 又演变成她在那工作，再变成结婚，再变成相互憎恶，一直延续至今

Two-Eyed Cyclops. Would you please tell him this isn't a good idea? 双目独眼巨怪，麻烦你能告诉他这是个馊主意么?

No, no, I think it'll be great. 不不，我觉得挺好

Maybe next time he gets conjunctivitis at work, she can hold his head and try to put the drops in his eyes. Giant baby. 也许下次他工作时得了结膜炎，她可以按住他的头，往他眼睛滴眼药水，巨婴(讽刺)

That's a Raging Ogre. 那是张恼怒食人魔

Yeah, I know. 嗯，我知道

I'm just saying, I'd never want to work with Bernadette. 我可不想和伯纳黛特一起工作

Can you imagine seeing someone all day long and then you're supposed to hang out with them after work, too? 你能想象你一整天看见某人，结果工作完还得和她待在一起吗?

Hold on. We do that all the time. 等等，我们不就是这样么

You and I work together and play together. 你和我一起工作一起玩

Yeah, I know, and it drove me into the arms of another woman. 我知道，所以我才投入了另一个女人的怀抱

Bipolar Bear. 两极熊

Well, I appreciate your concern, but I won't be seeing any more of Amy than I already do. 我感谢你的关心，但是我不会跟艾米有更进一步的接触(双关)

I assume we'll deduct any extra time we spend together at work from our weekly quota. 我想我们会把工作中的见面时间从每周的定额时间中扣除

Please let me be there when you tell her that. 当你跟她讲的时候，请务必让我在场

Why? So you can see the look on Amy's face when she hears my top-notch idea? 为什么?这样你就能看见艾米听见，我的绝顶好主意时欣喜的表情么?

Please, oh, please, just let me be there. 求你了，求你了，一定要让我在场

So, Amy, what are you gonna be working on at Caltech? 艾米，你要在加州理工研究什么呢?

I'm leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralyzing fear in monkeys. 我将带领团队研究单胺氧化酶的缺失是否会导致猴子精神崩溃

Oh. If they're anything like humans, the answer's yes. 噢，如果它们有一丝像人类，答案就是肯定的

Wait, you've-you've done this experiment on humans? 你已经做过对人体的实验了?

You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical. 你指的是那些没什么可损失的死囚犯么?不，要这样也太不道德了

You know, not a lot of people know this, but the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim. 很多人都不知道这个单胺氧化酶是由一位名叫玛丽·伯恩海姆的女性发现的

That's right. My phone is just as smart as you guys. 这就对了，我的手机跟你们俩一样聪明哦

Amy  Bernadette  Penny. Amy  Bernadette  Penny. Amy  Bernadette  Penny. 艾米,伯纳黛特,佩妮。艾米,伯纳黛特,佩妮。艾米,伯纳黛特,佩妮。

He's never gonna stop doing that, is he? 他是永远不会停的，是吧?

I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday. 我不介意，我正希望他对重复的热爱有一天能用在该用的地方

Hi. Um... I've reconsidered. Uh, you can't work where I work. 你好，嗯...我重新考虑了下，你不能在我那工作

Enjoy the rest of your evening. 祝你们晚上愉快

Sheldon, I-I already signed the contract. 谢尔顿，我...我已经签了合同了

I cashed a check. 支票也兑现了

Mmm... you are not going to come out of this looking good. 嗯...你毁了约可不会有好果子吃的

Sheldon, I don't understand. I thought you said you were fine with it. 谢尔顿，我就不明白了，你不是说过你不介意的

Well, I was. But that was before Howard explained to me how awful it would be if he had to work with his significant other. 我之前是不介意，但是霍华德向我解释，如果他和他的另一半一起工作会有多么糟糕

He said what? 这小子说什么?

Now, don't be insulted. He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious. 哦，他没有对你不敬的意思啊，他就是认为老是看见你会非常无聊而已

Excuse me, I need to have a chat with my husband. 抱歉，我得和我老公好好聊聊

Yeah, well, now, well... keep it short. 好吧，尽量言简意赅啊

Fr-From what I gather, brevity is your friend. 从我的了解来看，短小精悍是你的挚友啊

So, are we good here? 那么，我们没事了吧?

No, we're not good here. I am working on this project. 不，我们还没完呢，我要做这个项目研究

Yeah, and you can't tell her what she can and cannot do. 是啊，你没权利告诉她该做什么不该做什么

Last week, you told Leonard he couldn't wear his Wookiee jacket out in public. 上周，你还告诉莱纳德不能在公共场所穿他的伍基人夹克呢

That's different. 这可不一样

I'm not going to the mall with someone dressed dumb space bear. 我才不要和穿得像愚蠢太空熊的人去商场

Sheldon, you don't have to worry about me bothering you. I'll be in a different building. And we don't even have to have lunch together. 谢尔顿，你不用担心我会打扰你，我会在另一幢大楼工作，我们也不必一起吃午餐

Really? Yes. Before all things, I'm a scientist. I'm just there to do my work and, with a little luck, scare the living crap out of some monkeys. 真的吗?是的，最重要的是，我是个科学家，我只是来这做好我的工作，如果走运的话可以成功吓崩溃些猴子

Hmm. You sure your mothlike personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself? 嗯，你确定你飞蛾一样的性格不会扑向我这团熊熊燃烧的烈火么?

More and more sure. 确定一定以及肯定

Well, then, you have my permission. 好吧，既然如此，那我同意了

I didn't ask for your permission. Too late. No backsies. 我没征求你的许可，后悔已经晚了

No, no, listen to me. Sheldon misunderstood. 不不，听我说，谢尔顿误会了

What I meant was, if we worked together, there'd be too much of me for you, not the other way around. 我的意思是，如果我们一起工作，我怕你对我审美疲劳，不是反过来那样

Howard, if you're going to lie to your wife, don't start the sentence with "Sheldon misunderstood." 霍华德如果你想骗你老婆的话，别以"谢尔顿误会了"作开场白

That's a dead giveaway. Well? 那可是死路一条。你看吧?

Okay, fine. I did say that, and I think it's true. I think if we worked together and lived together, we'd get sick of each other. 好吧，我招了，我确实讲过，我也觉得没错，我认为如果我们一起工作又一起生活就会互相厌倦对方

Yeah, but to be fair, he only said the part about him getting sick of you. For the love of God, why?! 是的，不过说句公道话，他只是说了他会对你厌倦那部分，我的老天，你干嘛这么对我?!

What exactly do you think you'd get sick of? 到底什么方面会让你感到厌倦?

His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one. 他唯一的选择就是假装得了心脏病，或者正儿八经得了

It-it's nothing in particular. I... 没有特别厌倦的方面，我...

Is it my voice? Am I too bossy? 是我的声音吗?听起来太颐指气使了?

My arm is feeling numb. 我胳膊开始麻了

Nailed it. 来了

That's the wrong arm for a heart attack, doofus. 心脏病可不是这个胳膊麻，蠢蛋

My point is, I'm sure there are things about me that would drive you crazy if you had to deal with them all day long. 我的意思是，要是你整天和我在一起，总是面对我这一身的毛病，还不得把你逼疯

Like looking me in the eye and lying to me? 比如当着我的面撒谎?

Oh, well, come on, I just... Where am I supposed to look when I lie to you? 拜托，我我...不然我撒谎的时候该看哪里嘛?

Find somewhere else to sleep tonight. 今晚自己找地方睡吧

Bernie... If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine. 妮妮啊...如果能让你好受点，我和艾米没事

I mean, really good. 应该说，非常好

So, boys, how was the pajama party? 兄弟们，睡衣派对怎么样?

You guys jump on the bed and sing into hair brushes? 你们在床上翻腾，用梳子当麦歌唱?

It wasn't a pajama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride. 那不是睡衣派对，是哥们几个呆在一起，说说笑笑，吃吃曲奇饼，看看《公主新娘》

Please, stop talking. 拜托别说话了

As you wish. 已如你所愿(暗讽华仔夫妇)

I mean, you know, Sheldon, none of this would've happened Sheldon if I hadn't tried to help you. 要不是我好心帮你，也不会有这一出

Uh, it also wouldn't have happened if, in the early universe, hydrogen was a little more common or a little less common. 要是在宇宙早期，氢含量更高或更低点，这事也不会发生

This is fun. Your turn. 笑话不错，轮到你了

Gentlemen. Hey, Amy. Hello. 各位好，你好，艾米。好呀

That was kind of icy. 气氛有点僵

You two okay? 你们没事吗?

Oh, we're fine. 没事

As Howard advised, she's merely respecting our professional boundaries. Smart. 如霍华德建议，她只是在保持职业性距离。有见地

Take relationship advice from a man who spent last night braiding Raj's hair. 从昨晚给拉杰编辫子（女生爱玩的小游戏）的男人那里听取感情建议

Yeah, you make a good point. 你说得有理

It would appear I was worried for nothing. 看来我的担心是多余的

Look at her, desperately wishing she was over here at the cool table. 你们看她多么渴望能坐在我们拉风的这桌

Don't worry, little moth. 别担心，小飞蛾

The flame will come to you. 热情之火向你扑来